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Does He care enough

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If your significant other doesn't ease your troubles in the most difficult of times, how can you call him significant? That's more like an acquaintance roommate who doesn't owe you anything, and your importance to him means no more to him than the local cashier.

Before this 3 year mark, haven't you witnessed instances of this sort of behavior in other ways, even if more minor? Did you ignore the red flags?

Even if he grew up in a cave and lacks social skills, he witnessed how you took care of him when he was sick, so if he didn't learn from that, he's hopeless. He should've asked what you need before you had to ask for him to go to the store. And then when you did, it was a very cold action on his part to grumble or say no.

Yeah, tell him you're too sick and tired to take out the garbage, so he can haul himself to the curb.

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It sounds like a fair weather type relationship. Things seemed great when you were fit and able to take care of yourself and him. Although I do suspect that you've ignored some pretty big red flags about him being selfish along the way. Now that a big storm hit your life and you are not well and need to lean on him, you are finding out that he is just that....selfish, self centered and not the type to lend a hand to anyone, even if it's as simple as a run to the grocery store.

Hate to say this, but a neighbor you barely know would probably offer to go get things for you faster than your bf. Key word being offer while your bf grumbles and refuses after you have to ask him.

Forget what he does or doesn't share with his family. That's a red herring. Their dynamic between them is not about you. However, him grumbling or refusing to so much as go get groceries for you.....that's all the information you need to show him out the door. There are no excuses for that level of selfishness.

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19 hours ago, NottryingtoBpretentious said:

I just don’t how I feel about keeping my bfs serious medical issues secret. I’m not looking for pitty or cards , I’m chronically ill . I’ve gone down the road of feeling sorry for myself I’m past that . All I know for sure is if my family asked ME “how is life going ?” I would %100 tell them if my partner of years who I live with that they are having heart complications.

I wouldn't. That's very private. 

Just recently, my boyfriend started to experience a problem with his eyes that has us pretty worried. We saw my family the week that we discovered it. I thought about mentioning it to them, but something held me back. My boyfriend never told me not to mention it; I just didn't. So, I was surprised on our way home, when my boyfriend said, "Thank you for not bringing it up to your family." I felt glad that I didn't say anything!

So, different strokes for different folks, as they say.

20 hours ago, NottryingtoBpretentious said:

I am now on a heart monitor and I feel like I’m not getting the support I need from my BF of 3yrs who I live with

This is a separate issue, and much more important. You should be getting support from your partner during your illness.


Edited by Jibralta
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Hi there, I don't think your boyfriend cares enough about you and what you're going through. It seems to me he is apathetic and not concerned enough about you especially as someone who has been in the hospital like you've been. I think you need to take some time apart from him and maybe go to your family, if you can where you can get the proper support and care you need  with what you are going through. It seems  I hope you get well soon and pull through. Strongs!

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