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I don’t trust my boyfriend


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My boyfriend and I technically started dating in March 2020 but broke up in May 2020 for one month. The first few months we dated, I always felt like something was off. Like one foot was out the door the whole time for him. When we broke up, I found out via social media that he hung out with his ex the weekend after he broke it off with me. I always felt like he still had feelings for her.  They were engaged and had broken up in 2016 so it had been awhile. She cheated on him several times while they were dating snd it was an overall very unhealthy relationship which I do believe my boyfriend probably played a role in.

We ended up reconnecting in June 2020 and I gave it another shot but told him how I know he hung out with his ex the weekend we broke up and wanted to talk about it. He denied it and told me I was crazy. I was always paranoid he still had feelings for his ex. Finally a month ago he admitted they hung out. She drove from Miami to stay with him for 3 days (he lived in Tampa) and they slept together and went out a couple times etc. Even though we were broken up, it still hurt to hear it from him. And to think of all the times I asked about it and he just told me how crazy I was when I was literally 100% correct about everything. It makes me wonder about all the other times I brought up concerns and he just shut down and said “I am crazy or psycho”. He is more emotionally invested than before, bur it wasn’t until I almost broke it off 6 months ago and got a promotion in a new state that he “realized he was in love with me and that I was his soul mate”. I still struggle to this day thinking I am just his second option since his ex is now dating someone new. I can’t seem to believe him when he tells me I am his soul mate and how much he loves me. He has never been super complimentary towards me and is really only affectionate when he is drunk. I don’t know. Am I crazy for still thinking he still has feelings for his ex? It is driving me crazy and I don’t want to end the relationship because of my own insecurities

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