i just want a boyfriend, help me

[unana]

hello guys!  i was virgin till July. but i met a guy from dating app. i really liked him (until now even i know he's ***). And then second meeting at his home watched movie, and had my first unexperienced sex ahaha. and after that he asked me want to see me like two times,  i was a bit busy.after this we met 3 times at his home, mostly only do sex and slowly we are getting distanced. and last time we haven't seen each other like 3 weeks, i asked him what we are doing? he said we are knowing each other. and also he finished his all of condoms  in that three weeks hahaha. i know he is busy working and studying, but i feel like i'm being used, i like him.  we haven't had real date :((

i'm not sure what can i do know? is it casual sex or he is just *** telling everyone who he met or really busy or i'm a booty call or something

[Batya33]

If you want a potentially serious relationship he is not interested in that with you.  He is interested in having sex with you when he feels horny.  You are agreeing to have casual sex with him.  You are not being used for sex -you are agreeing to have sex with him.  Are you using him for sex? It's understandable you like him -you enjoy hanging out and having sex with him.  He enjoys having sex with you otherwise he wouldn't have intercourse with you. 

But if you want more then stop having sex with him and spend your time being involved in activities where you interact with people in public and can potentially meet people who are single and available for a serious relationship.  And interested in that with you.   Typically meeting a stranger from online and having sex the first time you meet or even the second is not generally a path towards getting to know someone for potential for serious relationship.  Sometimes but it's really rare. 

And this is not one of those rare times.  He has told you he intends to keep knowing you sexually and knowing you by meeting up when he feels like having sex with you.  He hasn't seen you in three weeks because he doesn't feel like having sex with you.

Maybe he's having sex with other women maybe he's just busy maybe he's just not in the mood.  You don't know because you've chosen to let this person you barely know enter your body and you've gone to his home without knowing if he could cause you great harm or who else might be there and harm you.  Figure out what you think your values and standards are.  Right now you are giving him the impression you are fine with going to his home and having intercourse with him.  Because those are your actions. 

You still had sex with him even when he told you he sees your arrangement as "knowing each other" - which has nothing to do with him being interested in a potential relationship with you.  He's not.  And he's not using you at all.  But you might tell yourself that if you keep getting naked with him when he calls you to have sex.  And being jaded and bitter in general is a turn off for men who might want to get to know you for purposes of a serious relationship.  Just my humble opinion.

[Rose Mosse]

1 hour ago, unana said:

i'm not sure what can i do know? is it casual sex or he is just *** telling everyone who he met or really busy or i'm a booty call or something

Don’t go over to his place and be specific that you want to date and go out. Express that you want to experience more outside of the bedroom and know him better in other ways. 

If you are feeling used it means things have spiralled out of control and you are no longer having your needs fulfilled while catering mostly to his. Be more vocal and don’t be a pushover. 

You should also be aware he knows what he’s doing and generally at this point people like him scatter or are suddenly found incapacitated, non-responsive. You should be prepared to dump him if you want something more meaningful. Good luck.

[smackie9]

Ok stop with the "He could be using me". No one is being USED if you a willing participant. You can say no at anytime. Sex is not currency or to be used as currency for a relationship.

If he isn't fulfilling your expectations, which one is you would like a relationship, then you simply stop seeing him. It's doesn't look like it's going in that direction so be done with him.

Next time, make sure the time you spend together is out on dates, not in their bed.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, unana said:

i feel like i'm being used, i like him. 

You're not "being used" if you show up at his house for hookups.

[catfeeder]

If this is not what you envision for a relationship, this in not your guy.

I'd skip him and go find someone better to actually date.