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Should I break up with my girlfriend?


nothotman
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23 minutes ago, nothotman said:

I don't need her for anything. I am financially sound. I guess I thought I could make it work.

It’s affecting your work and health (your initial post). It is not working. She has shown you what she is. You alone are accountable for your own decisions and actions, for the state of your emotional and mental health. 

You don’t have to decipher why she does the things she does but you do have to accept who she is. You have a choice to stay in it and suffer for it or end the relationship and move on. Right now you’re emotionally attached but you’ll have to make a decision. 

 

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5 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

OP, I don't mean to be funny - but are you sure she's not working as an escort? Advertising herself somewhere?

Remember when I asked the above? 

40 minutes ago, nothotman said:

 she slept in the same bed with a man for money 

Bingo. 

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OP, you are not her care taker. You are not responsible of her. She is an adult and will figure it out. She is NOT your responsibility.

Your responsibility in this relationship is to honour yourself and your feelings, and break up. You give her 1 month to get out and that's it. You cut all contact afterward and you don't fall for her games.

I'm sorry, but you need to respect yourself and end it. It's not what you would have wanted it to be, and that's okay. That's what being in a relationship is sometimes like. You have to find that inner strength and let go.

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I have broken up with her in front of her father because she is not stable enough to take this news without his support.

He has told me that he views me as he son and that he would have never abandoned me like my father did. He says I am doing the same thing to her by leaving and not finding a way to make things work.

Right now she is crying and I am feeling pretty ***ty.

Her father is telling me that I will only realise my mistake when I am alone and it is too late.

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23 minutes ago, nothotman said:

I have broken up with her in front of her father because she is not stable enough to take this news without his support.

He has told me that he views me as he son and that he would have never abandoned me like my father did. He says I am doing the same thing to her by leaving and not finding a way to make things work.

Right now she is crying and I am feeling pretty ***ty.

Her father is telling me that I will only realise my mistake when I am alone and it is too late.

Right. And guilting a younger man into being with his daughter is a healthy option especially when there’s lack of boundaries, privacy and trust. Some father. He has his own issues it seems.  Please do not be a doormat. 

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31 minutes ago, nothotman said:

I have broken up with her in front of her father because she is not stable enough to take this news without his support.

Her father is telling me that I will only realise my mistake when I am alone and it is too late.

That's Ok. It all came to a head and now she can go home back to her country with her father. Let her leave. She has her father to care for her.

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She is now threatening to kill herself. Her father is nonchalantly saying that if she decides to kill herself, there's nothing he can do. He can't lock her up in a box for the rest of her life. It is her choice whether she wants to continue living. He hopes that she won't kill herself but cannot stop it.

 

I have told him that him saying this kind of thing is not helpful for her and replied that he was only telling the truth.

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12 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

That's Ok. It all came to a head and now she can go home back to her country with her father. Let her leave. She has her father to care for her

Yup.

Don't let him guilt trip you. It's his responsibility to care for her, and not you. And it's really nasty and evil from him to pull such card against you!!!

She's in good care. She's an adult. She will figure it out.

And, You've done a good job. You need to think of you and put your needs first.

It's difficult, but you'll see. She'll survive. When I left my ex, he threatened to kill himself and his parents called me telling me not to leave him. I refused and blocked all of them. Months later, he's out there traveling like nothing happened. He survived. Ofc he can, and so will your gf.

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1 minute ago, nothotman said:

I have told him that him saying this kind of thing is not helpful for her and replied that he was only telling the truth.

He's as unhealthy as his daughter. He doesn't even want to get her the needed professional help and is blaming / guilt-tripping you! Stop any sort of conversation. You now have nothing to do with him.

Block him. Again: they will survive.

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Interestingly, that friend of mine I told you about who was in a very similar situation?  His "girlfriend" was also a sex worker.

Moral of the story?  Don't expect to get for free what the others pay for.  You're just paying in a different way.

If she threatens suicide call emergency services.  They will get her the help she needs.

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1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

If she threatens suicide call emergency services.  They will get her the help she needs

Exactly! And I'm sure if he tells her that he'll call emergency, she will refuse. It's all a pity act to guilt trip OP and make him sound like the bad guy

OP you are NOT the bad guy. They are with their reaction. Don't fall for it.

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When she's out on one for her dates, you move your stuff out and into storage, get a hotel, and leave her on her own to fend for herself. I'm sure she will have np finding a place to live. So many willing men on her app will lend a hand.

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3 hours ago, smackie9 said:

When she's out on one for her dates, you move your stuff out and into storage, get a hotel, and leave her on her own to fend for herself. I'm sure she will have np finding a place to live. So many willing men on her app will lend a hand.

She can get that guy who paid her to sleep next to him to pay her to sleep next to him every night.  He could get a discount for paying by the week or the month or whatever.

Seems to me like you thought she was your girlfriend but she viewed you as a higher-paying customer.

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I'm sorry, I am VERY confused. You were dating this woman for a year and literally right from the start you had very large amounts of evidence that she's cheating on you with many other men. You don't honestly believe she was raped (at least not by all) when she was very willingly texting them all constantly and meeting them by her own wishes? Because she was in a relationship with you she shouldn't have even been meeting men as "friends". She should have been looking for female friends only because she wasn't single. You were working and providing for her financially for a year while she's dating other men. And you ask "Should I break up with my girlfriend?" I don't understand how this is even a question! Of course the answer is yes!!

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On 9/4/2021 at 5:22 PM, nothotman said:

She is now threatening to kill herself. 

He's known her and her dramatics a lot longer than you.

He may not know she's a sex worker, but he's there now so let him take care of the situation.

What's the real reason you refuse to wash your hands of this?

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