Jump to content

My husband tried to kill me after my affair


Stupid girl
 Share

Message added by kamurj,

The topic has run its course, closed.

Recommended Posts

My husband and I have been together for 10 years married for 5. So 6 months ago I started a affair with a younger guy because all my husband wanted to do was sit and watch TV show me no attention I wanted to go out and be active but he didn't so when a younger man came flirted with me I took the bait. And I know I was stupid and a *** . So anyway the affair lasted for about 6 months  until last week when my husband out.  And this where it get crazy. My husband told me he needed to talk to me then he showed me a messages between my affair partner and me and before I could explain myself he punch me in the face as hard ask he could and broke my nose he kicked me in the ribs threw me down the stairs and choked me. He broke my left arm and he broke my ring finger on my right hand trying to take my off. The neighbors called the cops when they heard me screaming . I must off pass out because I work up in the hospital. The cops caught my husband and put him in jail. His family is blaming me and they bailed him out . The last I heard from him was 3 days ago him telling me he was coming over to kill me. Now I sitting here with a broken arm cracked ribs and broken fingers. Waiting for him to kill me. This is all my fault. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I presume the police took your statement and are giving you advice about what to do. Please follow their advice.

Also the hospital should have a social worker. Ask him or her for referrals to women's shelters and groups.

And confide in your family. Yes, you had an affair but that is not a death penalty offense. Ask for support and help from your family.

File an order of protection if you haven't already done so.

Finally, do not go home, not even to get clothing or any personal items. Or if you do, have a policeman escort you.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

please file a restraining order -- go with the house with family to get your important papers like your birth certificate, social security card and so forth.  then go stay with family or someone where he doesn't know. Don't back down from pressing charges

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am really sorry this happened, OP. You neither deserved violence nor death for what you did. He could have simply broken up with you but he grievously injured you and threatened to kill you. 

You should consider:

* Reporting the threats, if you have not already, to the authorities.

* Seeking other resources mentioned here, such as at a women's shelter. 

* Obtaining legal counsel - you would probably be entitled to recover medical and emotional damages in a civil suit.

* Getting a personal protection order. In some jurisdictions, a personal protection order may, if permitted by a judge, come with a temporary concealed carry permit. Perhaps that is something you should consider obtaining: this person has already shown you what he is capable of, and he has expressed intention to kill you. 

Edited by Pleasedonot5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You need to press charges and get a restraining order. If you are able to, can you move somewhere else so that your husband doesn't know your address? He had no right to physically hurt you or try to kill you. Violence is NEVER OK. Can you try to get him in jail again because he's threatening you?

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, Stupid girl said:

The cops caught my husband and put him in jail. 

You need to get a restraining order. It's usually automatic in this type of case.

Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Follow up with the police. Stay in the marital home. Check with the police about an alarm system and changing the locks.

Contact an attorney about the divorce.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey everyone thanks for the replays it mean so much with what I going through.  Anyway I see everyone telling me to press charges and get a restraining order. I didn't want to press charges on my husband because all this was my fault in the first place but I do have a restraining order against my husband right now but I still love him and before you ask. I never wanted to leave my husband I just wanted some fun and excitement in my life and I know a affair was not the right way to go but like my username I am a stupid girl. But some good advice would help. Thanks for reading.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He already tried to kill you once and has made it clear he will try again.

What do the law enforcement and social services agencies say?

BTW, in many areas they don't need you to press charges or give testimony to try him for assault or attempted murder. Those things are illegal even if the victim "loves" their attacker.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Try and leave to protect yourself. The anger a man goes through finding out his wife was cheating has no limits and is probably the worst anger a man can have. I would fear for your life for the time being and leave as soon as possible.

they say cheating on somebody causes same amount of pain like killing their loved one.


I consider myself generally pretty nice and never really get in fights or anything like that but if I came home and my wife was having sex with another man and I had a gun, there’s a 97% chance I would shoot him in the leg.


That being said, yes your life is in danger, plan to leave ASAP and don’t return.


It’s a messy situation but you’ll be ok with time.

Edited by mical
Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, abitbroken said:

please file a restraining order -- go with the house with family to get your important papers like your birth certificate, social security card and so forth.  then go stay with family or someone where he doesn't know. Don't back down from pressing charges

A RO is useless. She would be dead before the authorities got to her. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is it your fault that your husband snapped, yes. That doesn’t mean you deserved to be put in the hospital. 
 

Violence against a cheating spouse is never right. 
 

There was a betrayed spouse in England that lured the OM to the family farm and killed him. 
 

Some people just lose their sanity when betrayed like this. 
 

Was your husband a violent person before this happened?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

45 minutes ago, Usa1ah said:

A RO is useless. She would be dead before the authorities got to her. 

I am not saying to rely on it, but she needs to do this to continue a paper trail in addition to doing everything else to keep herself safe - so when he comes up for trial (i pray that she is pressing charges) the more paper like that piles up, the more that will sway the judge that he needs to be locked up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

43 minutes ago, Usa1ah said:

Is it your fault that your husband snapped, yes. That doesn’t mean you deserved to be put in the hospital. 
 

Violence against a cheating spouse is never right. 
 

There was a betrayed spouse in England that lured the OM to the family farm and killed him. 
 

Some people just lose their sanity when betrayed like this. 
 

Was your husband a violent person before this happened?

NO it is NOT her fault that he snapped! Its her fault that he feels betrayed by the cheating but a better man would have never hit her. He would have asked her to leave the house , or he would have been in shock so he would be stunned and quiet and remove himself for a few minutes so he DIDn'T get violent.

NO ONE deserves to be hit, thrown down stairs etc.  My friend was shot in head and spine by her soon to be ex husband.  Did she deserve it because "he was mad" about the divorce? She lived but will never walk again.

Edited by abitbroken
  • Thanks 1
  • Confused 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 hours ago, Stupid girl said:

3 days ago him telling me he was coming over to kill me. Now I sitting here with a broken arm cracked ribs and broken fingers. Waiting for him to kill me. 

That's a violation of the restraining order you were issued. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, Stupid girl said:

My husband told me he needed to talk to me then he showed me a messages between my affair partner and me and before I could explain myself he punch me in the face as hard ask he could and broke my nose he kicked me in the ribs threw me down the stairs and choked me. He broke my left arm and he broke my ring finger on my right hand trying to take my off.

Keep in mind that if you go back to that violence, you may not be so lucky the next time.  If he hit you once, he'll hit you again.  Don't feel that you're the exception to the rule...you're not.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Have you warned your bf that your husband is violent?  If not you should.

  Seek help from a battered woman's shelter as they have the most experience with these situations.

Time to start divorce proceedings don't you think?

Lost

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, lostandhurt said:

Have you warned your bf that your husband is violent?  If not you should.

  Seek help from a battered woman's shelter as they have the most experience with these situations.

Time to start divorce proceedings don't you think?

Lost

You don't need to stay there to take advantage of counseling services.  There are domestic violence hotlines that will refer you to free counseling, support group and often legal or housing help

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, abitbroken said:

NO it is NOT her fault that he snapped! Its her fault that he feels betrayed by the cheating but a better man would have never hit her. He would have asked her to leave the house , or he would have been in shock so he would be stunned and quiet and remove himself for a few minutes so he DIDn'T get violent.

NO ONE deserves to be hit, thrown down stairs etc.  My friend was shot in head and spine by her soon to be ex husband.  Did she deserve it because "he was mad" about the divorce? She lived but will never walk again.

He would have never snapped if she didn’t cheat and him finding out. 
 

I said that she didn’t deserve to be hit. Her husband should go to jail for a long time for doing so. 
 

No one deserves what happened to OP. I never said she did. 

Edited by Usa1ah
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Usa1ah said:

He would have never snapped if she didn’t cheat and him finding out. 
 

I said that she didn’t deserve to be hit. Her husband should go to jail for a long time for doing so. 
 

No one deserves what happened to OP. I never said she did.

You are saying she "caused" the attack. That's a sad and disgusting way to think.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Usa1ah said:

He would have never snapped if she didn’t cheat and him finding out.

That's sort of an unknown. He could have snapped over something else.

Everyone has their breaking point. Her cheating clearly pushed him over the edge.

Did she "cause it" or did she deserve what happened to her or what might still to come?

No, but she definitely poked the wrong bear.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • kamurj locked this topic
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share


×
×
  • Create New...