Jump to content

What does he mean


susanhelp
 Share

Recommended Posts

So dating a new guy for 3 months. Everything was going great  flowers dinners walks together all good. Lots of texts saying he is in love with me etc. Past few days he seems off and constantly saying I’m going to leave him or illl dump him. Then when I say no I want a future with you he says good I don’t want this to end ever   What is going on with him.  Also what’s ne to spend the nights at his house but then says he can’t sleep with me there. I’m so confused. I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t know what to say to him. I left this morning and after he send a a text have. A great day with lots of emojis   Oh my this sucks 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, susanhelp said:

So dating a new guy for 3 months.

This sounds like a very intense relationship for such a short amount of time, @susanhelp...

Sounds like you've seen each other a lot (too much, perhaps?). From your opening post, I get the sense that he is very, very interested yet a bit overwhelmed by the situation. He might have some difficulties reading his emotions and might need a bit of patience and gentle guidance, so he feels the relationship is going at a pace he is comfortable with.

I totally get the confusion on your part, though 🙂 . Simple solution: slow the pace, communicate a lot (no pressure though!) and let things happen at a pace you can both handle. Exclusivity, lots of ❤️ and kindness, and it'll all be good, you'll see 🙂 .

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

28 minutes ago, susanhelp said:

Past few days he seems off and constantly saying I’m going to leave him or illl dump him. Then when I say no I want a future with you he says good I don’t want this to end ever

Insecurities? He is insecure about himself so he seeks validation

Same guy with shady trip and saying how he would marry you and then saying how he would not? Lots of red flags there

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, susanhelp said:

Past few days he seems off and constantly saying I’m going to leave him or illl dump him. spend the nights at his house but then says he can’t sleep with me there.

Unfortunately you've doubted him all along from ED to being a player to all sorts of misgivings about his hot/cold and very odd approach. Some wining and dining is not a good reason to pursue this.

12 weeks is a good time for you to step back and reflect on what you want and what's bothering you in particular.  It's not a time to wonder about odd things such as why is he spending time at his own home.

My advice about your unease with him all along and what you feel about what you perceive as dubious activity remains the same.:

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

41 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

I entirely agree with Wiseman.   You know this is not going to work OP. Don't waste any further time. You got good advice on your other couple of threads on this same problematic issue.

Bingo. 

This guy is not boyfriend material for you, OP. You have known that for a while. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, susanhelp said:

Thanks for the advice makes me feel better.  But also thinking he wants out and can’t tell Me 

I think he wants out unfortunately and is trying to make it "it's not you it's me" kind of thing so you get tired of it and bow out.  I would avoid "reassuring" him or overthinking/questioning him -simply maintain your dignity and tell him that you see he is uncomfortable and keeping his distance and you think it's better if you both find someone you feel at home with.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I think he wants out unfortunately and is trying to make it "it's not you it's me" kind of thing so you get tired of it and bow out.  I would avoid "reassuring" him or overthinking/questioning him -simply maintain your dignity and tell him that you see he is uncomfortable and keeping his distance and you think it's better if you both find someone you feel at home with.

Maybe who knows.  Saying he in in love with me doesn’t make sense if he wants out  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

People who throw around the love yous need to be vetted carefully.

I have experienced and seen others fall for each other fast. That in itself is not so bad... but!

the actions MUST MUST MUST match the words. 

Cut your losses.  Insecurities at 3 months becomes controlling behavior at 6 months, becomes abusive behavior at 12 months.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, susanhelp said:

So dating a new guy for 3 months. Everything was going great  flowers dinners walks together all good. Lots of texts saying he is in love with me etc.

 

2 hours ago, susanhelp said:

Saying he in in love with me doesn’t make sense if he wants out  

A guy saying 'love' is not for real.. Not after only 3 months.

Real love develops over time... in the beginning it's always so great! ( honeymoon phase). That comes to an end, then you get to see the real them.

As mentioned, you have posted concerns before?  Pay attention then.

He sounds insecure.  And if there are concerns after just 3 months, is best to remove yourself from this guy.

5 hours ago, susanhelp said:

Past few days he seems off and constantly saying I’m going to leave him or illl dump him.

He sounds needy and insecure here.  And in that case, nothing you do will ever do him enough good... Could end up him accusing you of things ( no trust), etc.

IF you can't figure him out & he behaviour is uncertain, then just put an end to all of this - for your own good!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, susanhelp said:

Maybe who knows.  Saying he in in love with me doesn’t make sense if he wants out  

Sure it does.  Watch the feet not the lips -what he does not what he says.  He may at times "feel" in love with you but he doesn't want anything serious with you and sees that you seem to.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Insecurities? He is insecure about himself so he seeks validation

Same guy with shady trip and saying how he would marry you and then saying how he would not? Lots of red flags there

He just texts  I am so in love with you dawn   I’m keeping my guard up this time   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

....The fact that a stranger you've barely known a few months is proclaiming such love is a red flag bigger than China.

OP, google love bombing. It sounds a lot like what you are experiencing and nothing good ever comes out of that.

Also, if you don't want to get enmeshed in toxic relationships with toxic people, then learn how to walk away quickly rather than "be on guard". When you see red flags and behaviors that off or too much too soon, run.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • How To Make A Woman Want You Sexually (Guide To Building Her Interest And Sexual Attraction)
      Learn how to make a woman want you sexually! In today's video we're talking about sexual attraction and how you make a woman want you! We're going to be discussing some useful tips you can put to work to get a woman interested in you and building that sexual desire. Often men think they know exactly what women want, men in sports cars with big houses a big wallet and a bad boy attitude. This might be what the ladies want in movies but not in real life it's very different. To know what a lady wants you need to understand what you need to do to make her want you sexually. Imagine if you knew the secret formula to do this, the one that tells you exactly what women want sexually. The formula would let you know exactly what you need to do to get a woman to fall into your arms, sounds too good to be true right? Well it's not! It's as easy as being mindful of your own behaviour and adopting steel-proof boundaries. Want to know some more? Well don't move an inch.

       
      • 0 replies
    • How to know when he's really fallen in LOVE
      You’re falling in love with your man deeper every day, but you don’t know if he feels the same way for you. It’s natural to want to know his feelings for you. What happens when he doesn’t say it or he’s not the type to say that? His actions tell you he loves you, but you could be wrong, right? So how do you know when he’s really in love with you? It’s not always so easy, but it’s not impossible either!

       
      • 0 replies
    • 6 Psychological Secrets of Attraction
      Knowing whether or not someone is “into you” can be incredibly difficult if they don’t explicitly say it. In this video, we will be looking at some psychological secrets of attraction.

       
      • 0 replies
    • This Healing Mindset That Helps Overcome Trauma Symptoms
      If you grew up with neglect and abuse, you've needed time to talk about what happened, and how parents and others treated you. But THEN what? Once you've acknowledged the past and gained an understanding of how you developed symptoms of trauma, how can you overcome those symptoms, and move forward with building a happy and fulfilled life? In this video I teach about the two general categories of comments I see on my channel, and what that suggestions about the commenter's readiness to heal.

       
      • 0 replies
    • "I Want A Girlfriend" Do THIS First
      I want a girlfriend. Have you ever found yourself thinking "I want a girlfriend" but you're not quite sure if you're actually ready for one? Before you go about doing anything else it's important to make sure that you actually need a girlfriend right now.

       
        • Like
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...