Feelings about this weird encounter

[quark]

I literally don't know where else to put this!  It has been so long since I've been catcalled or otherwise been on the receiving end of creepy men behavior, but..

Today at the grocery store, a man with a very obvious growing boner told me I was attractive and his **** was getting big  😳

It started out as an innocent enough conversation when he approached me JUST as I was walking into the store and he was on his cell phone.  He wanted to ask me about yogurt because he said his girlfriend was trying to lose weight and he was trying to buy some for her.  I waited really patiently while he was half on the phone with her I assume and half letting me give what small advice I could.  Like what the hell??

I just rolled my cart away, averted my eyes and laughed really awkwardly...  I couldn't even concentrate and left shortly thereafter.  And now that some time has passed I just feel so angry that some men think they can just say whatever they want and allowing this to get in my head/bother me.  Ugh.

[LaHermes]

33 minutes ago, quark said:

waited really patiently while he was half on the phone with her I assume and half letting me give what small advice I could.

You really need to smarten up Quark.  Next time point any such person in the direction of "customer services" in the store (they are there to give advice), and do NOT wait patiently. There are deranged people everywhere. 

[quark]

Yep, got it, thanks.  Thanks for kicking me when i'm down.  👍  I must be a masochist cause I just keep coming back to enotalone, lol...

[Batya33]

41 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

You really need to smarten up Quark.  Next time point any such person in the direction of "customer services" in the store (they are there to give advice), and do NOT wait patiently. There are deranged people everywhere. 

Especially with covid around typically people who are normal won't approach you with questions about products.  Once in awhile at the check out line the cashier and I or the person in front of me will chat about a product one of us is purchasing and it's normal and totally fine.  Some men and some women are unstable and some men and some women behave inappropriately at stores.  It's just life, reality.  When I was in my third trimester and had a rather large baby  bump I was exhausted and shopping for a couple of groceries after work.  A teenager-ish girl stopped me "can I please ask you something" and I just looked at her and she said "what month are you in?" I said, as I walked away "sorry that's too personal" because I didn't want to engage with anyone let alone a prying stranger.

Quark - just work on your boundaries and your sense of what seems appropriate and never feel like you have to respond to any stranger.  

[Lambert]

I'm sorry that happened. He had to be mental, right?  

I get so disgusted with people in general these days. the road rage and impatience I experience every time I leave the house gets me so down.

So I can imagine an in person a-hole experience would freak me out, too.

Try your best to shake it off. It's over.  

Now I need to take my own advice.  lol... I bet you won't buy yogurt for a while.  🤣 let's try to laugh it off.  

[catfeeder]

I'm so sorry about this, Quark. I can understand why you were shook up.

I hope you won't allow this one douchebag to harm your view of people in general and your generosity toward humankind. It is, after all, one of life's joys to be helpful and engaged with our fellow man.

If ever there's been a time when social interaction is a premium gift to ourselves and others, this is it.

I hope you won't give this guy the power to rob you of this.

Head high, and I hope you'll write more if it helps.

[melancholy123]

if it was me, I'd have said, sorry I can't help you.  Then I'd move on.  I dont engage with creepy guys with a hard on in a grocery store.  Or you can tell him to ask someone who works there.  I wouldn't get angry, I'd be laughing to myself.

[Rose Mosse]

Completely ignore and walk on. I'm sorry you had to hear any of that.

[MissCanuck]

6 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Quark - just work on your boundaries and your sense of what seems appropriate and never feel like you have to respond to any stranger.  

This is the most important take-away.

Don't wait patiently for a disgusting stranger to finish accosting you. Just walk away, and alert security if need be. 

[Wiseman2]

There's all sorts of weirdos around. Did you tell your BF about it? Were you angry at his reply?

 

[DarkCh0c0]

Oh my, this happened to me years ago as well. You could even less see it happening! The dude was driving, stops-by on a busy street and asks me how he can go to X place. As I was explaining, bam. Same act. And he was in a suit in a big fancy car. I thought he was really going to work lol

There are just sickening men out there. Looking back I should have thrown my bottle of water or umbrella on his ** to teach him not to do it again. But there there. At least I ignored and left like you did.

It's really not about us. There are so many creeps in this world. Next time, we need to teach them a lesson and embarrass them-literally- so that it discourages them from going this to others. At least, that's my take on it.

[LaHermes]

14 hours ago, quark said:

I must be a masochist cause I just keep coming back to enotalone, lol...

I must certainly did not "kick you" Quark.   Yes, there are creeps in this world, and it is always a mystery to me why they home in on one kind of person and not others.  We DO need to be street smart in this world, that's for sure. 

 

15 hours ago, LaHermes said:

Next time point any such person in the direction of "customer services" in the store (they are there to give advice), and do NOT wait patiently. There are deranged people everywhere. 

And, yes, I agree with you Cat.

"It is, after all, one of life's joys to be helpful and engaged with our fellow man."

But one needs to be able to distinguish between the genuine article and the creep trying it on. 

[Seraphim]

Ugh!!! I hate hate hate that stuff. I used to get that kind of stuff when I was younger and I never knew what to do. I know what I would do now ,…

I am sorry this happened to you .