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Went on a date with a Bi man who never said he was bi or had a boyfriend

Haylesy

By Haylesy
in Dating Advice

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Haylesy Newbie

Haylesy

Posted
Posted

Hey all, advice needed!
I am 31 and a straight woman. I went on a date at the weekend with a guy I was set up with (35) by his sister who is also my friend. He lives about 200 miles away but was in the area so we met up. The night was incredible, and very natural, we really got on, we flirted, got some pictures together and I kissed his cheek. I really like this guy and would like to see him again.
A day after our date, some guy messaged me on Facebook who had seen the pictures, claiming they were the guys boyfriend of 6 years, they live together, and he'd met me without him knowing. (His sister who set us up had no idea about this either) This rocked me to the core, he never said he was bi ever or with someone, I assumed he was a single straight man.
It is not a great start but I did talk to him about this and he said he is bi but he wants to be with a woman and he will end it with his long term boyfriend if I agree to continue dating. His boyfriend also told me they had sex the day after our date. I just don't know if this is worth pursuing or not. Please help!

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SooSad33 Grand Master

SooSad33

Posted
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Ahhh, No?

1) He is 200 miles away.

2) You just met him and he was NOT willing to admit he's already involved ( so led you on). And was almost willing to cheat on his bf?

3) IF he walks away from his present partner, he'll be 'rebounding' which most often ends up badly!

I just dont see any of this as good!

Would you be okay in his Bf's spot?  Learning your bf just met up with someone else - on a date? ( when you are still involved?) .. This is what he has done!

Sit back... think about this for a while.

Just because you just met, you have no idea who he is.. but, maybe this first encounter can give you a hint?

 

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Tinydance Grand Master

Tinydance

Posted
Posted

It is NOT worth pursuing. He's actually already in a relationship of six years. So he's NOT single. To be honest it sounds like he's trying to experiment or see what else is out there. I'm not saying he's not actually bi, but he's been with a guy for six years and now he wants to try someone new. So if it went well with you, he'll dump his boyfriend? What if he doesn't? He's probably just going to continue seeing you both at the same time.

Some people are polyamorous but they're completely open and honest about it. And they only date other people who are polyamorous and actually OK with it. This guy lied to you because he never said he was bi or that he's in a long term relationship already. He sounds very slimy.

If his boyfriend messaged you and he's upset, obviously they are not polyamorous and the boyfriend didn't consent to this. So the guy is treating his boyfriend like crap.

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melancholy123 Grand Master

melancholy123

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Posted

No.  Just no. He's already lied to you and lead you on.  He's also in a gay relationship with another man he's had sex with.  I hope you didnt have sex with him and if you did you better get checked for STDs.

He lives much too far away.

Find a guy in your own area and dont jump into anything too fast.

 

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Haylesy said:

  he said he is bi but he wants to be with a woman and he will end it with his long term boyfriend if I agree to continue dating. His boyfriend also told me they had sex the day after our date.

So many red flags 🚩 .

Cheating, lying, living with someone, long distance and that's only after one blind date.

Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Don't get involved with a cheater. Don't be his experiment.

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MissCanuck Grand Master

MissCanuck

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Haylesy said:

I just don't know if this is worth pursuing or not

Absolutely, unequivocally, say it loud for the folks in the back - no. 

I am surprised you are even considering it. The guy is a liar and a cheater. He's not even sure he wants to be with woman, and even if he did? You would be crazy to trust him. 

Raise your standards, girl. They're way too low if you're even thinking about moving forward with this tool. 

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