Wruce_Bayne91 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 So my wife & I are planning our first threesome with a friend of mine I've known my entire life and who she has met a few times and hit it off with well enough. He and I have talked about it a lot and she and I have talked about it a lot. There will be some guy on guy stuff (basically hands and oral) that we are all looking forward to. We have a game plan down of when it's happening: he's coming to visit for a weekend from about 14 hours away for a weekend event, and we'll do our thing on night 2/3. The only things I'm hung up on (since I'm kind of coordinating things) is how to initiate it, and what to have on in the background, if anything. Any advice? We'll be at my wife and I's house and we're gonna come back from the first day of the event and all go shower (wife and I in one and him in the other shower), then from there... Idk. Watch a movie and leave it playing in the background? No idea lol Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 Condoms and STDs test would be a good. Or a video on all the stuff you can catch. How about this for your background?: Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 Speaking from experience - don't overplan. It will make it too awkward. Have your showers. Pour a couple drinks (not too much) Turn on some music. Get to chatting. Take it from there. Don't bother with a movie, you won't be watching it anyway. But above all: also have a word/phrase/gesture you or your wife could use if either of you gets uncomfortable at any point and wants to stop. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 I don't understand why you are seeking advice here -have you not googled ideas as you are looking for? Many people have had threesomes and I'm sure posted about all the details and planning etc -I'm sure you'll get some ideas on how it will be the most fun for you. Also know you're risking your long time friendship should things go wrong/be uncomfortable as is a high risk with threesomes from what I have heard but it sounds like the fun and the planning are worth the risk and you're all really looking forward to it. It's just sex so I wouldn't overplan - plan for the safety and health parts -protection, STD testing, covid testing, etc. Link to comment
dias Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 37 minutes ago, MissCanuck said: Speaking from experience - don't overplan. It will make it too awkward. Have your showers. Pour a couple drinks (not too much) Turn on some music. Get to chatting. Take it from there. Don't bother with a movie, you won't be watching it anyway. But above all: also have a word/phrase/gesture you or your wife could use if either of you gets uncomfortable at any point and wants to stop. Listen to the connoisseur OP 😎 Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 3 hours ago, Batya33 said: Also know you're risking your long time friendship should things go wrong/be uncomfortable as is a high risk with threesomes from what I have heard but it sounds like the fun and the planning are worth the risk and you're all really looking forward to it. Yah, I second this. The risk is there for (both) relationships. (friend & wife). Especially that it is your friend you are involving in this 😕 . Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 You have two willing partners and a venue. Nothing else is needed except a clean bill of health from the two of them. I'm assuming here that your wife or you haven't had other partners separately. Enjoy your time together and don't overplan it. You're putting too much pressure and expectation on yourself, not to mention the others. If he's not comfortable with anything you and your wife will have to respect that. Link to comment
Guest Posted August 10, 2021 Share Posted August 10, 2021 What music to capture the mood? Hmm... Link to comment
poorlittlefish Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 Any advice? Be prepared for this fun to have a detrimental effect on your marriage and/or friendship. Threesomes tend to do that. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 19 hours ago, dias said: Listen to the connoisseur OP 😎 Connaisseuse, mon chéri! Link to comment
Guest Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 22 minutes ago, poorlittlefish said: Any advice? Be prepared for this fun to have a detrimental effect on your marriage and/or friendship. Threesomes tend to do that. I totally agree here. A friend told me she once had a threesome with her boyfriend and another guy. They both ended up crying afterwards...and eventually broke up (not sure if related or not). The idea of another man turning her on even more so than yourself would be very de-masculating. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 35 minutes ago, poorlittlefish said: Be prepared for this fun to have a detrimental effect on your marriage Agree. Particularly since your marriage is rocky to begin with. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 47 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Particularly since your marriage is rocky to begin with. Ooh, good catch. OP, in my experience, your relationship needs to be rock-solid in order for this to go well. If there are any issues with trust, respect or communciation? This will end in a dumpster fire neither of you saw coming. Link to comment
waffle Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 7 hours ago, MissCanuck said: Ooh, good catch. OP, in my experience, your relationship needs to be rock-solid in order for this to go well. If there are any issues with trust, respect or communciation? This will end in a dumpster fire neither of you saw coming. Although people with rock-solid relationships usually find other things to do to occupy their free time and aren't interested in participating in risky behavior. There's no way to win here. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 1 hour ago, waffle said: Although people with rock-solid relationships usually find other things to do to occupy their free time and aren't interested in participating in risky behavior. Not necessarily true. Some couples genuinely enjoy these experiences, and don't view it the same way others who don't engage in the sort of thing do. Ask me how I know. Link to comment
dias Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 1 hour ago, MissCanuck said: Ask me how I know. How? Link to comment
waffle Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 I have never once in my entire life (which is long) seen a couple introduce a third person into their bedroom and somehow that was the answer all involved were looking for. Link to comment
Unsure2021 Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 Is this for real or are you posting this to brag? It seems made up somehow or completely removed from the reality of the likely consequences of this little ‘fun’. Also, your wife’s alleged excitement at seeing you have sex with a man rings false to me. You’re obviously pumped for this but I somehow doubt your wife shares your excitement, especially since she only likes him ‘well enough’. Makes me think this was not her idea. Be prepared for this to blow up in your face. Link to comment
adviceplease2 Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 This is a terrible idea. Nothing good will come of this for any of you. Good luck, hope I'm wrong. Link to comment
LaHermes Posted August 12, 2021 Share Posted August 12, 2021 Recalling this OP (a few months ago): "We used to be SO good at communication, so it kills me that the past couple months we've been losing that. It was always a strong point for us. I want so badly to make this work, and I have resources available to us for free that we can utilize to get counseling, but she isn't happy with them for one reason or another. She would rather pay money we don't have to get counseling, so IDK what to do, here. It's tearing me apart to see us fall apart like this" So, the idea of a threesome sounds good in the midst of these difficulties and doubts, OP? Link to comment
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