I’m broken *warning May trigger*

[limichelle]

I had a friendship with this guy 18 years ago, just good friends we hung out a lot. Well we’ve been Facebook friends for years. We talk occasionally so when he said he was coming up to see me. He lives two hours away, I was excited. I told him we can meet for dinner. He said that sounds good.

His mom was also a good friend of my moms back then. I gave him my address to pick me up. I figured he’s an old friend and no harm.

Well he picked me up and suggested we take the dinner back to his hotel room just to relax and catch up on old times. It was getting stormy and we still can’t eat inside at most places because of COVID.

 

I agreed and this is where I was stupid I admit.

 

to make a long story short he raped me! 

 

I have reported him to the police that same day later that night. I even did the forensic rape kit. 
 

it’s a wait and see game as I await to see if they can arrest him. It’s right now a “he said.” “She said.” Situation.

 

this happened This past Friday.

 

I’m anxiety ridden, to the point I have trouble leaving the house.

 

I’ve been set up for trauma counseling. 
 

I feel my trust is now shattered in the opposite sex. I’m now heavily guarded. I feel my heart is broken and won’t recover. I worry it’s just going to get worse from here on out. Like this was the string to break the camels back on my outlook on love. I was so happy and excited to get back into dating. I was working out with a trainer at the gym.

 

Now I’m so scared and anxious my sleep is disturbed and I’m crying all the time. I’m not going to the gym because I’m frightened with all of these non rational thoughts. 
 

im right now being tested for stds. Me! Who the last time I had sex was back in 2012 has to now worry about STDs because he didn’t wear a condom. 
 

I keep replaying the idiotic things I did in my head. 
 

I just want to know if this gets better…..

 

 

[melancholy123]

I'm really sorry tihis happened to you.  Good on you for calling police and reporting him and doing a rape kit and STD tests/

I'm glad you are set up for therapy as you sound like you really need it.  Do you have a trusted friend or someone you can talk to before you start therapy?  

[boltnrun]

I'm so sorry.

That man is a criminal.  He needs to be arrested, prosecuted and sentenced to years in prison.

Please lean on support from family, friends and the professionals who can help you through this trauma.

[Rose Mosse]

I am so sorry. What a horrible thing to happen and with someone you thought you could trust. I'm glad you have support also and are getting tested. 

[Lexie67]

I am so sorry this happened to you, you absolutely dont deserve this. And if I may say you weren't stupid for wanting to catch up with an old friend, it was a bit naive yes, but I don't blame you, tbh I would do thesame without thinking of the risks involved,  but the rate at which you're going, you will mostly likely sink into depression,  so if you're a muslim I have some prayers to help you cope, if youre a Christian I can reach out to some people to also give me prayers to help you cope. I know you might not believe me but I'm struggling with depression and prayers have helped me immensely.  If he doesn't get justice in this world he will surely get it in the hereafter,  he will never go scout free. Be strong and remember you are loved

[limichelle]

Thank you everyone!

 

I was a bit naive to trust him. I am taking this one day at a time. I’m hoping for an outcome of him getting arrested so he doesn’t harm anyone else. 
 

He also was trying to intimidate me by having a gun in which he loaded after he raped me! 
 

The police confiscated his phone and gun. 
 

Thank you for all the kind words and support! 

[limichelle]

6 hours ago, Lexie67 said:

I am so sorry this happened to you, you absolutely dont deserve this. And if I may say you weren't stupid for wanting to catch up with an old friend, it was a bit naive yes, but I don't blame you, tbh I would do thesame without thinking of the risks involved,  but the rate at which you're going, you will mostly likely sink into depression,  so if you're a muslim I have some prayers to help you cope, if youre a Christian I can reach out to some people to also give me prayers to help you cope. I know you might not believe me but I'm struggling with depression and prayers have helped me immensely.  If he doesn't get justice in this world he will surely get it in the hereafter,  he will never go scout free. Be strong and remember you are loved

Thank you so much! I’m Christian. So prayers I know really help! 

[Rose Mosse]

I'll keep you in my prayers too and hope that things unfold as you want them to. It sounds terrifying. Awful that you have to go through this and very sorry. 

[DancingFool]

First is I'm so so sorry for what you are going through. Huge internet hugs to you.

Second...it is not your fault. You did not do anything idiotic. Please please understand that. You didn't invite this and did not bring this onto yourself. Please do not blame yourself for what this psychopath did to you. The fault is 100% his and I hope he does end up rotting in jail for that. Please push the prosecutor to do their job and do not back down from it.

[Jibralta]

7 hours ago, limichelle said:

I was a bit naive to trust him. I am taking this one day at a time. I’m hoping for an outcome of him getting arrested so he doesn’t harm anyone else.

You weren't naïve, you were normal. You have a long history and your moms know each other. 

Definitely take advantage of the trauma counselling. Maybe find some group support services in your area. It's always good to talk to people who can relate to what you're going through.

You're going to feel anxiety about this for a long time, but it doesn't have to be forever. Plenty of people are able to put it behind them. Sometimes helping others can help you.

I'm glad you made the report. Most people don't.  

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

[limichelle]

Thank you everyone!

 

I feel better hearing that I didn’t do anything wrong. I was playing what happened over and over in my head. I start therapy next Wednesday and I’m excited about it! Where I live because it’s a sexual trauma I get free counseling. The counselor is specifically trained in my trauma.