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Should I approach? Tricky situation! (My neighbours granddaughter 😂).


Crt-crt
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She is about 20-21 y/o. I am 27 y/o. 
she is now single.

Basically, I tried to contact my neighbours grand-daughter through her Instagram account (I wanted to wait until she came over, but she is never there). Tbh I thought *** it, why not? I sent a DM (with my intentions) with a follow request and she declined the request (though I later came to find out she was in a relationship, when she declined). Not long after sending the DM her presence around my neighbours has increased a lot over the past 6 months.

My neighbours house is attached to mine, so we are like toe-toe. About 1 month after sending the DM she has been out on the neighbours drive standing alone a few times. The one time I caught her staring at our kitchen window with a smile on her face and she seen me (in the kitchen) and her head shot down FAST! Like she got caught. She was squatting (outside) of her car staring through the passenger window into our kitchen window. When she knew she got caught, she went back into the house.😂

And recently, I was out front mowing the lawn and to my surprise she and her grandmother pulled up on their drive. She was like 10-15 feet away from me. But had her back turned to me and she seemed a little nervous (she didn’t seem to rush away though). Just as she is waiting for her grandmother to open the house door, (I see in my peripheral) she kinda does this slow glance as me. I didn’t look at her cause I didn’t wanna look like I was staring. Then they go on in the house.

3-4 days later around 21:00, I see her standing on the drive (in the night time) for about 2-3mins glancing at my kitchen window again. I didn’t do anything because I don’t really know the reason why she was looking, impossible to tell. Then she gets in her car and pulls off and stops/waits directly outside my house staring at our house for like another 2-3 mins and she does this weird slow drive past the house whilst looking at my house. 100% sure she couldn’t see me looking.

And another time, (on there drive) her mother was out of the car glancing at our kitchen window, whilst the ‘Crush’ is in the car and then the crush gets out and starts to take selfies.

Could anyone interpret these situations for me? And, I am not going to approach her on my neighbours drive if I don’t know she wants to be approached. I think it’s way too close to home and risky business. I want to cause she is so beautiful. But, If it wasn’t so close to home I would take the risk.

The way how I see it is, if she wanted me to approach she would have given me something more than a glance just before she goes into the front door, when I was on my front garden. But it’s the glances/staring at my house which makes me wonder… could she be shy or is just curious. And no I don’t believe she is creeped out, I sent 1 Instagram DM/follow and left it at that.

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Would a women really expect a man to approach her without her giving some kind of invitation?

BTW, the neighbour (grandmother) is still completely friendly to me.

Also, our houses are litterly toe-toe, as soon as I go into my kitchen I can see onto my neighbours drive. So I am not going out of my way to try and look, its just hard not to when we’re so damn close.

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1) How long has she actually been single?

2) Whether she was involved at the time or not, I don't see why you'd even consider trying anything with some gal next door who declined your invite 😕 .

The thing is.. is YOU keep track of all she's doing .. to the minute!  You need to back off some.  That's a little much.

So what she comes & goes - Yes, a car belongs in that driveway... It's normal.

 

I also have a neighbour/ex close by, but in time I've learned to let it go.  To just move along & live my own life! Just like he has.

They come & go as well.. but I don't need to watch constantly.. that will drive you crazy 😕 .

Also, she is just 21, you're 27.  I hope you've matured some? Some guys just don't by that age..lol. Often, is common for youngens that age to still be out there, partying, living it up etc.

Either way, I am not sure she has too much an interest and things are a little too close for comfort.  What should happen if things don;t go well.. yet she's still hanging there?  

I guess, in order to find anything out, send her another invite?

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19 minutes ago, Crt-crt said:

Basically, I tried to contact my neighbours grand-daughter through her Instagram account (I wanted to wait until she came over, but she is never there). Tbh I thought *** it, why not? I sent a DM (with my intentions) with a follow request and she declined the request (though I later came to find out she was in a relationship, when she declined).

And what does this tell you? Social media is extremely low form of interaction today. Meaning, boyfriend or not, girls today would add you just to boost followers and for you to like their pics. She didnt even want to do that. I think its a giant waste of time and your chances are extremely low. You are hung out on all those fake interactions that mean nothing. While ignoring her actions. And that is that she declined your request. Why not just talk to her in person? She is your neighbour, you can always ask how its going. Do you even know that girl aside of seeing her coming and going from your neighbour home?

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Agreed.

Send her another request and see if she excepts this time.  If not then go about your life and be polite and friendly when you see her (say hi) but keep your distance.

If she accepts chat her up a little and ask her out for a drink. 

Lost

Edited by lostandhurt
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Posted (edited)
29 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

And what does this tell you? Social media is extremely low form of interaction today. Meaning, boyfriend or not, girls today would add you just to boost followers and for you to like their pics. She didnt even want to do that. I think its a giant waste of time and your chances are extremely low. You are hung out on all those fake interactions that mean nothing. While ignoring her actions. And that is that she declined your request. Why not just talk to her in person? She is your neighbour, you can always ask how its going. Do you even know that girl aside of seeing her coming and going from your neighbour home?

Let’s be real though. If a guy sends a follow and a message stating his intentions and that girl accepts, that would give the guy the wrong impression whether it’s a low form of communication or not right? Personally, I would think it would be ***ty (to the bf) for the girl to accept based on that alone.

Edited by Crt-crt
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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

1) How long has she actually been single?

2) Whether she was involved at the time or not, I don't see why you'd even consider trying anything with some gal next door who declined your invite 😕 .

The thing is.. is YOU keep track of all she's doing .. to the minute!  You need to back off some.  That's a little much.

So what she comes & goes - Yes, a car belongs in that driveway... It's normal.

 

I also have a neighbour/ex close by, but in time I've learned to let it go.  To just move along & live my own life! Just like he has.

They come & go as well.. but I don't need to watch constantly.. that will drive you crazy 😕 .

Also, she is just 21, you're 27.  I hope you've matured some? Some guys just don't by that age..lol. Often, is common for youngens that age to still be out there, partying, living it up etc.

Either way, I am not sure she has too much an interest and things are a little too close for comfort.  What should happen if things don;t go well.. yet she's still hanging there?  

I guess, in order to find anything out, send her another invite?

Thanks for your response. I feel a bit weird about re-adding her again, because i think if she declines it will make it more awkward and I  don’t want to creep the girl out, or raise any qualms with the neighbours. My friend mentioned to go out and ask the grandmother if she needs any work doing and see if it gets mentioned. That seems to be a good approach.

It’s not the coming and going I am curious about😂, it’s the staring/looking and the waiting directly outside my house in the car looking at my windows, then slow driving and still looking.

Lol. I don’t keep track of her every minute. The layout out of our house (at the front) is pretty awkward for privacy. As soon as I come down the stairs I literally see onto their drive. My kitchen windows overlooks their drive quite a lot. So it extremely hard not to notice.

The funny thing is, I did forget about it for a while. But it’s the glances/staring that gets you wondering, why are they so interested in looking. I guess there could be a million of different reasons.

 

 

Edited by Crt-crt
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I think you also need to keep in mind that when you're attracted to someone or like someone, you tend to read things into their behaviour. You think this girl is looking at you but normally when you see her she's just getting out of the car or she's in the front yard. I wouldn't think she's necessarily trying to look at you but she's just looking in front of her in general. I mean, where is she supposed to look? You already requested her and messaged her on Instagram so if she was interested in you she could message you there. Or she could actually try to talk to you if she liked you. My guess is she's not interested because she doesn't actually show any signs of being interested in you.

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58 minutes ago, Crt-crt said:

Let’s be real though. If a guy sends a follow and a message stating his intentions and that girl accepts, that would give the guy the wrong impression whether it’s a low form of communication or not right? Personally, I would think it would be ***ty (to the bf) for the girl to accept based on that alone.

Adding you and saying she has a boyfriend was out of options? Instead her actions were to just ignore you. And you console yourself that its not because she doesnt like you, its because she has a boyfriend and "adding other men on social network would be wrong". Again, social networks are extremely low form of interaction. She could have added you if she wanted. To me that states very low form of interest from her.

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3 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

I think you also need to keep in mind that when you're attracted to someone or like someone, you tend to read things into their behaviour. You think this girl is looking at you but normally when you see her she's just getting out of the car or she's in the front yard. I wouldn't think she's necessarily trying to look at you but she's just looking in front of her in general. I mean, where is she supposed to look? You already requested her and messaged her on Instagram so if she was interested in you she could message you there. Or she could actually try to talk to you if she liked you. My guess is she's not interested because she doesn't actually show any signs of being interested in you.

Sqatting down and staring through my kitchen window is not in her general field of view. I caught her staring then she shot her head down fast (like she knew she’d been caught). I know what your saying but I’m not imaging things. Also I never claimed she doing it to look at me, she looks at\ through the widows when standing stationary from their drive, her mother as well. And stopped her car outside my house staring at my windows.😂 i just find it interesting behaviour from someone who rejected me.

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Posted (edited)
50 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Adding you and saying she has a boyfriend was out of options? Instead her actions were to just ignore you. And you console yourself that its not because she doesnt like you, its because she has a boyfriend and "adding other men on social network would be wrong". Again, social networks are extremely low form of interaction. She could have added you if she wanted. To me that states very low form of interest from her.

In all fairness what girl does that though? It’s social media, girl’s get bombarded with dm’s and requests and the sort, its normal behaviour for them to ignore😂, especially people she isn’t quite acquainted with. My opinion was, because she had a bf at the time maybe it could of been cause of that. That just how us guys think to be honest. Why so serious?🙃

Also, not every girl is out on social media to just boost there numbers, which you seem to think. It is very common for girls to strictly keep there lives private and connect only with close friends. I guess that’s why the private feature exists right?😂

Edited by Crt-crt
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2 hours ago, Crt-crt said:

In all fairness what girl does that though? It’s social media, girl’s get bombarded with dm’s and requests and the sort, its normal behaviour for them to ignore😂, especially people she isn’t quite acquainted with. My opinion was, because she had a bf at the time maybe it could of been cause of that. That just how us guys think to be honest. Why so serious?🙃

Also, not every girl is out on social media to just boost there numbers, which you seem to think. It is very common for girls to strictly keep there lives private and connect only with close friends. I guess that’s why the private feature exists right?😂

Well you seem to be telling yourself that she's somehow interested in you but to be honest I don't think it seems like she is. She knows you're into her because you already told her before. She's single now and she knows where you live, besides she could always message you on Instagram. Yet she's doing nothing. That seems like not interested to me.

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7 hours ago, Crt-crt said:

 I thought *** it, why not? I sent a DM (with my intentions) with a follow request and she declined the request 

Leave her alone. Try not to stare or be creepy about this .

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I think you're reading too much into her actions.  like maybe she dropped something and happened to look thru the car window.  lol. like really how much can a person see thru the outside of car window, into the car, out thrpugh the other window, into your kitchen? think about that. 

Also 21 is a lot younger than 27. When I was 21 there was no way I was into some old man 27 year old. Sorry. 27 is NOT old... but when you're young, over 25 is! lol.

Lastly, don't poop where you eat.  Ever hear that saying? she's too close. you share a drive with her Granny.

just the other day, this guy in my complex asked me out. He was saying something like "we talk all the time but I don't know your name"

Which to him probably is true... to me? I was thinking 🤔 hmmm. I think we said hi one time before this. 

My point is, he noticed our interactions. but I didn't. Maybe it's the same for you.  

I think the only thing you can do is: next time you see her, say hello. see if she talks it up.

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Posted (edited)

Never mind. I went out there today and greeted her. We got talking for a few minutes and I grabbed her number. She seemed extremely friendly. So I guess that solves that.

Edited by Crt-crt
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