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1 year and no "I love you", planning to move together. Starting to get real bothered.


Capremm

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Wait a minute, OP. 

This is the same guy from your last thread in Janaury? The one who wanted you to be exclusive even though you hadn't met yet? 

There is something off about this whole relationship. If you hadn't met in January, have you actually only spent two weeks together once in the year since you've been talking to him? 

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With all these concerns there is no way you should move. This would be a mistake on your part.

In LDR the person that moves carries the greater burden of risk. The fact that you are having doubts about his level of commitment or feelings for you is telling you everything you need to know. 

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I dated a guy exclusively for 8 months a few years ago.  Not long distance or primarily online but actually in person.  I spent every weekend, from Friday to Monday morning, with him in those 8 months.

Then we had "the talk". He told me he "wasn't 'feeling it'", not in the way a man in love would.  He said he liked me just fine, but I was more of a "convenience" to him, i.e., he didn't have to look for sex and companionship because I provided those things.  But that didn't mean he was in love.

I had met his entire family, we traveled together, we were well known in our circles as a couple, but he wasn't in love with me.

So yeah, I would make darned sure before I uprooted myself to live with him.  Even if he says he wants you to.  The last thing you want is to move out there only for him to tell you in a few weeks that he's changed his mind and he thinks you shouldn't live together after all.  Then what?

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  • 2 weeks later...

So you are upset because he never said "I love you" yet. Don't worry, it will come at the right time when he feels comfortable. He could just be as worried as you.

Why don't you take the initiative and instead of waiting tell him your real feelings that you love him?

It shouldn't be that difficult now should it?

If he doesn't reciprocate, then just say you wouldn't feel comfortable moving in.

Simple.

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