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Help please


Soccergirl08

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Hello I’ve been with this guy for eight or nine years we are high school sweethearts we had two beautiful kids they are especially in I just need help he tells me all the stuff in jail right now that he’s free he wants to be like a freeman know he has a whole family at home so I’m confused because why is he going out with his homey‘s and talking to girls and having girls put their phone numbers in and his phone or talking to him late at night like one or 2 o’clock in the morning even three come home at that time I’m just so confusing I feel depressed I don’t feel loved and he does buy me stuff but I’m like OK instead of buying me the stuff can we please go on a date or go do stuff I don’t know and he told me that he needs a break and he’s not ready to settle down yet he’s not ready to get married or anything he still want to have fun hang out with young boys and I just needed some advice how do I show him I don’t care anymore or have him worry about me I just want him to be home in to be able to do family stuff you know what I mean he just keeps saying my girlfriend gonna be mad at me if I give you a hug you’re not his type of seven I’m so tired of that he just brings me down and feel like he doesn’t love me he doesn’t hug me he doesn’t kiss me so I’m wondering like does he do that to other girls when he’s not home I feel like he’s with a girl I don’t know I just want to give my love awayIf this makes sense and he’s not from here he’s from a bigger city and he wants to live there and then come out here and then go back out there I think that’s just stupid and our kids especially there’s no need to be doing all that I don’t know I’m just tired I’m just tired of crying I don’t know what to do 

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First off, kinda hard to read one huge sentence....

He's admitted he's not 'ready' to settle down?  yet you have been together for 8-9 yrs? Or have you?

If he prefers to have other girls numbers & not 'be a man', then leave him.  He's obviously making you suffer from his ignorance!

Get a place with your kids, give him visitation and get a lawyer to make sure he pays support!

 

 

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3 hours ago, Soccergirl08 said:

  our kids especially there’s no need to be doing all that I don’t know I’m just tired I’m just tired of crying I don’t know what to do 

What was he in jail for? Do you live with your parents? Do you both work?

Is he a drug dealer? You need to go to court to file for child support on behalf of your kids. 

Do not let him around the kids. Only allow supervised visitation if he is hanging out with his "homies" and assorted criminals, pimps, drug dealers etc.

It's your responsibility to provide a safe decent environment for your kids. If he has questionable activity you risk losing your kids.

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@Soccergirl08 what wiseman said^

Also, you don't need that man. He's giving you 0 value. For now, you are the mom of his kids. That's it. Be that.

I suggest you fully separate from him and work on being a happier single mom. With time, you will find a man that actually cares for you and loves you unlike this pr*ck who's keeping you around for nothing (I hope you're not the one keeping him around).

I'm so sorry, but you need to end this and set each other free.

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18 hours ago, Soccergirl08 said:

why is he going out with his homey‘s and talking to girls and having girls put their phone numbers in and his phone or talking to him late at night like one or 2 o’clock in the morning

Because he can, and because he knows there are no consequences to be had.  I'd take him off that pedestal, file for child support and leave him to face the music.

There's no future with this guy, I think you know this yet you seem to be in denial.

Rather than blaming a clown for acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus. You can do better...

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To be honest it doesn't sound like he actually wants to be in a serious relationship with you. Maybe he's staying with you for the kids but it sounds like deep down he wants to be a single and free guy. He spent all his teenage years and early 20's with just you and sounds like he missed out on a carefree life that young people usually have. So he's partying and hitting on women because he wants to live like a single guy. You obviously love him and want the relationship to work but he clearly doesn't. Personally I think you should end this relationship. He can still see the kids but you don't need this. He's extremely disrespectful to you and probably cheating on you. He's hurting you and you don't deserve that.

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