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The mean co-worker will be attacking me again


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Hello,

so as my team leader is away on vacation the mean vicious coworker is going through ALL my work as we speak and trying to find the littlest thing wrong.

we just learned some new topics last week so as it is still new for us this is the perfect opportunity for her to try and bully and attack ... again

she already started again today but I know from experience her mood swings will rage again this week and I know once I’m at the office tomorrow she will try and call me names again in front me people or make me look stupid if I made some trivial error learning a brand new task

my question is - how should I respond when she starts yelling tomorrow even if I did make a tiny small trivial error (so far I think I’m fine and did all my work correctly l) plus she’s not my boss but loves power and control it seems 

any suggestions how to respond?

She is still at the office and it’s almost 20:00 going through every thing I did for the day to try and find a tiny mistake...

thanks,

M.

Edited by mical
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People will remember who behaves badly. So I would remain totally professional.

I had someone who bullied me at a workplace. I just refused to engage. Whenever she started in on me I would just say "I understand" and go on with my day. She ended up getting called into the Manager's office for a talking to because other people reported her for the way she treated me (and a couple of others). She had to tone it down after that!

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Respond neutrally and professionally. If you see some nugget of wisdom in there in the diatribe, only respond to the work-related issue at hand. Ie. "Yes, I'll correct that. Thank you." is sufficient. Ignore everything else and document the behaviour. 

 

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Posted (edited)

Thank you so much! I'll take that advice and be calm and professional.

It is mostly directed towards me since I am new to the company and lots of people are more senior than her, she joined maybe 2 years ago.

I did think it was bullying and already informed my boss. Two other people complained about her how she was acting towards me, one being this amazing guy from the UK who's been with the company 14 years and said my work is great.

I think she just has some insecurity issue. Maybe because she came from a small poorer village in a poor country in Europe and thinks you have to push your way to the top in a wealthier country like Austria, whereas I was lucky to come from a more wealthier area in North America and just try and be as nice, polite, friendly to my colleagues....but what do I know?

Anyways, I'll take that advice and just be calm and professional. If/when I make some error I'll just say thanks. etc. .

Much appreciated.

Edited by mical
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If she is in no way your superior just walk away when she is criticizing your work. The only power these type of people have over you is the power you give them so please remember that.  She is obviously a bully and insecure so do as boltnrun suggested and do not engage with her in any way.  There is nothing more than they want is for you to engage so they can continue the attack.  If you feel you need to say something then say something funny that points out her rage against you like  "Wow, somebody needs a hug"  or "Who pooped in your Cheerios this morning"  If other people are around they will more than likely laugh which will be the total opposite of what she wants because they will be laughing at your comments not listening to her diatribe.

I can see that this person is affecting you outside of work as well as at work.  How is it that management has allowed it to continue? 

Lost

Edited by lostandhurt
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Posted (edited)

haha yeah good point. I've been sending resumes since last week anyways looking for a a new job, so as soon as I give that 2 month notice, oh I'm sure I'll have some smart funny remark...

Edited by mical
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9 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

If you feel you need to say something then say something funny that points out her rage against you like  "Wow, somebody needs a hug"  or "Who pooped in your Cheerios this morning" 

I strongly disagree with this. It is unprofessional and borders on insulting. You could be disciplined for saying these kind of things.

I encourage you to be professional and react calmly even though you may be boiling inside.

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Do not ever lose your cool and your professionalism. Especially when your expertise is a small niche area. People will always remember how you handled yourself and when you come across them again, it will pay you dividends, whether you need a reference, or end up working with them again in another company, or they may remember you and recommend you for a job opening.

Engaging with a crazy coworker is a bit like wrestling with pigs - you'll both get muddy, but only one of you will enjoy it. Don't do it. Besides, people like her actually want you to react. She gets off on it, so don't give her the satisfaction. Let her dig her own grave.

Overall, who cares what she is doing? If she finds any errors? Good. You'll correct them. "Thank you for the catch. Will correct it." She gets verbally abusive - again, calm as a rock, "will do." Do not engage in her games. Don't get emotionally involved with your work.

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3 hours ago, mical said:

I did think it was bullying and already informed my boss. Two other people complained about her how she was acting towards me, one being this amazing guy from the UK who's been with the company 14 years and said my work is great.

Well, then why fear her anymore? She's already on record for her harassment, so if she pulls it again, smile, nod, walk away, and go straight to the person who has already received complaints about her.

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