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Why does an ex reply to texts but says they're not interested in getting back together?


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My ex boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago. We work together so I have to see him everyday. Its been hard moving on. First month and a half we had no contact. Then I decided to text him and we've been texting ever since. However when I bring up us being friends he agrees to be platonic friends but tells me he's not interested in a relationship with anyone right now. He replies to all my texts and tells me he's ok with us being friends but whenever I mention possibly hanging out he says its not a good idea. Why does he keep texting me and agreeing to being platonic friends if he knows I want to get back together with him? 

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How long were you dating? What were the reasons for the breakup!

The question is why are you chasing him?

Move forward. Especially since you work together, chronically texting him to date you again could be construed as sexual harassment.

 

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2 hours ago, msbreezy said:

Why does he keep texting me and agreeing to being platonic friends if he knows I want to get back together with him? 

Probably because he doesn't have the heart to tell you that he doesn't genuinely want to be friends right now. He doesn't have the heart to not reply or tell you to stop messaging him. 

But girl, you need to stop messaging him. He has been clear that he doesn't foresee a reconciliation and doesn't want to hang out as friends. You've got to read between the lines and keep your dignity intact, and stop trying. He is giving you strong hints that he is not interested. 

It hurts, but you need to keep your distance from him. You won't truly begin healing until you do. Be professional at work but stop contacting him privately. 

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3 hours ago, msbreezy said:

Why does he keep texting me and agreeing to being platonic friends if he knows I want to get back together with him? 

The two of you work together. He's probably trying to prevent an awkward situation. If he didn't respond to your texts, he'd risk you getting upset at work. So, he's being polite and responding to them. But he's been very clear about not wanting to see you outside of work, or get back to you. You should respect that.

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He is nice? He wants to remain in good relations with you because of work but doesnt want to hang out and gives you false hope. Which is OK from his side. It would be far worst if he hang out with you alone giving you hope. Like this, he put up a boundary. Messaging you doesnt mean a thing, you remain in good relations, but doesnt want to get back together and see you alone. So, your best thing to do is forget about him. I would even say stop messaging him for a while or talk unless its job related.

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He's being kind.

Normally, when an ex breaks up with me, I am not their 'friend'. Although some suggest or would like that?  I say no thanks.... and remain at a distance to work on accepting & healing from it all.

Is bad enough you work with the guy!  leave it at that.

He is tolerating you .  But no, you two are not true 'friends'.  How about respectfully leave all alone now.  You work and go home.  Expect no more from him.

 

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texting is the easiest, lowest effort thing someone can do.  I think you are just creating heartache for yourself by trying to prove that a lazy, disinterested way of communicating is interest. you are the one that suggested to text - i would stop texting him socially and only communicate at work when you absolutely have to for work related tasks.

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He's just trying to be nice and polite and keep you as a friend. He probably thinks it would be too mean to just block and ghost you. I would just give him space for now and move on with life and just wait if he reaches out someday, but not go out of the way to contact him anymore...

Edited by mical
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