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Does the man need to be the one going in for a kiss?

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I often get the impression that it is up to the man to be the one go for a first kiss etc, but these are too things I'm quite hopeless at. 

In short, you could say that the last thing a woman dating me needs to worry about is me not respecting her boundaries 😅  my problem is more like the complete opposite.

Having said that, I've often found on dates that the woman I'm with either makes it really obvious that she wants me to kiss her, or she'll be the one to initiate it herself. Problem solved in either of those cases...

But often when I'm on a date I'll feel so much pressure the whole time I'm out with her, often thinking "she's probably wondering why I've not tried to kiss her yet"

I have a first-date coming up pretty soon that I'm feeling nervous about for this reason. It's just for a walk around the village we live in and maybe a drink afterwards. Although it's a first date, we have still met once in person (we first met at a party... kind of... and got talking).

Would it be weird if I went on this date and didn't try to kiss her? Should I just chill out and see if she tries to initiate one? or maybe a 'goodbye kiss' is the best way to go about it.

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4 minutes ago, jeffmeadecho88 said:

Would it be weird if I went on this date and didn't try to kiss her? 

Relax and play it by ear. Try holding hands or other stuff first to see how it goes.

You won't have fun (neither will she) if you're preoccupied with your next move the whole time.

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Hi, OP. I don't think there's an expectation that you need to kiss someone on the first date. You wouldn't be messing up the date if you didn't want to kiss for whatever reason. 

If you do want to kiss her during the date, I suggest waiting for some indication that she wants a kiss first. Her looking at your lips, kissing your cheek, or hugging you followed by lingering or expectant eye contact, etc. are all good signs. 

Hope this helps. 

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No the man doesn't have to be the one going in for the first kiss.  On a second date about a year ago I walked this woman to her car (we met for dinner) and I was talking to her about something and she just looked me in the eyes and said "shut up and kiss me" I smiled and followed my orders. 

  It is hard to tell sometimes but if you are not sure on the first date then do as wiseman suggests and hold her hand and see how warm and inviting she is being.  I have actually gone in for a warm hug after a date and after the hug the woman kisses me.   When you are saying goodnight and she stands or sits really close that usually tells me she is receptive to a kiss. The slow lean in will surely let you know because she will see it coming and either a kiss happens or she gives you a hug and thanks you for the nice evening.

  The date isn't ruined if she wants you to kiss her and it doesn't happen as long as you showed interest throughout the date  so she knows you like her.

Relax and see how the date goes.  You may not want to kiss her by the dates end anyways.

  There is no rule that says anyone has to kiss on the first or second date so be yourself, smile, ask questions about her and her life and listen and then ask follow up questions.  You will be fine.


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Kiss is a tricky part. However, as Wiseman said, I would at least try other things. You go for a walk so, for example, try to seize an opportunity and hug her with one hand and see how she reacts. But dont pressure yourself, if it happens, it happens. Throw few compliments, see how she reacts. She already agreed to date, so, have fun and see how it goes. Maybe she even initiates some contact first.

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In the age of COVID, even if there are few regulations in your area, its really odd to go for a kiss on the first date.   If you already have known eachother for a long time - long time friends who feel something more and want to start dating  =- totally, a kiss on the first date is a good idea.  But if you are meeting a woman fresh for the first time on a first date -- there is no problem with NOT kissing her. My guy definitely didn't kiss me on the first date.   Do not worry about kissing on a first date - just focus on if she is someone you would want to see for a second

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19 hours ago, johnjones89cfc said:

I have a first-date coming up pretty soon that I'm feeling nervous about for this reason

Masturbate before the date, and it will help you not focus on kissing so much.  Don't look at her lips when she speaks, and look into her eyes, and pay attention to what she's saying.  You don't need a first date smooch to make the date a success.  But if you like her, arm on back, holding hands, touching her arm gently, cool for first date.

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