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4 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Girls care about the first time, for us men its more like "we did it" situation. You are already intimate and watch anime together(cute btw) so use that to sort of guide him where you want next time when you do it. You are more experienced so shouldnt be a problem. It seems that he wants that too(unless that his "You need to take charge" meant that you need to "jump him on" but I dont think so because then he would probably "jump you" if he wants it that eagerly) so take charge, guide him slowly and make love. Its an older post so if it happened in meantime hope it went well. 🙂

Yeah it went OK thank you 🙂 Only had sex once so far but actually been dating for nearly a month.

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9 minutes ago, Fudgie said:

I can't say I agree with "Unsure" (and not just because I like virgin guys, lol).

It is becoming more common (statistically) for people in their 20s and 30s to put off having sex or just to have less sex. People are getting married/having kids later and later in life. Not sure if you're into porn (I sure am), but there is a TON of good, free content out there to sate anyone. 

Not having sex does not mean, necessarily, that someone has a low drive. People put it off due to low confidence, educational aspirations, multitude of reasons. And honestly, porn is awesome for those like myself who have been abstaining for years (going on 3y now). Those who want to "sow their oats" will show signs of wanting to do so even before sex, IME. 

First-time sex (virgin or not) is always going to be a little awkward. It's a new experience with a new person.  

Yes I like porn also 😜 I don't watch it constantly but I like it. I has sex when I was 17, nearly 18 I think. So I guess I lost my virginity early. It was easy for me as a girl though. I've always been chubby but when I was 16 I actually suffered from anorexia and I lost 22kg. I also exercised a lot and I was very slim and toned. I was getting a lot of attention from guys as I'm a cute woman and I'm not shy, very bubbly. I lost my virginity to my ex who was just my best friend at the time. We were basically best friends for 3.5 years but unfortunately he committed suicide at the age of 18 😢

I guess some people's life can be different though. I have a female friend who's 37 and she's literally never been with anyone. I don't know if she actually wants to have anyone or she's asexual or what. But she's pretty shy and introverted.

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I agree Tiny, think it's easier for us women to get laid than it is for men. Of course, that's assuming rock-bottom standards or no standards at all. Finding someone decent is hard for anyone, regardless of sex.

I lost my virginity at ~19 years old. My "body count" is not much, 5 total, and compared to a lot of my friends I have not had that much sex. However, in a few of my relationships, I had a TON of sex (almost daily) but not for every relationship. I believe in quality over quantity.

Actually, one of my closer friends, she has slept with 100+ guys (mostly ONS) and we both agree, I have a higher sex drive overall. 

It varies so much. I firmly believe, you cannot just look at someone's "body count" or length of time spent without sex to make accurate determination of sex drive, promiscuity, etc. 

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I'm glad it went ok.  I think your mixed feelings are normal for someone who is getting attached and has sex early on before you are committed, serious, really know each other -that kind of "downside" is always a risk.  You are comfortable with his reasons for not having dated much/having been a virgin.  That's all that matters and I'm glad you enjoyed meeting his mother.

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3 hours ago, Tinydance said:

it's not that easy for guys to meet women unless they're either really attractive and/or they're very confident and are like an alpha male type. 

Self-confidence is a very attractive trait IMO. It is immediately obvious in a man, and IMO counts for even more than physical attractiveness.  I would imagine it could be hard for a man who is shy, has no self-confidence or whatever other factor.  As I said before I have never in my life met a shy man. Lol.

 

2 hours ago, Fudgie said:

It is becoming more common (statistically) for people in their 20s and 30s to put off having sex or just to have less sex. People are getting married/having kids later and later in life.

Certainly people are getting married much later in life nowadays, Fudgie.   I see this trend among younger friends and relatives. None of them married before 30 or even before 32/33. But I cannot agree that people in their 20s/30s are having less sex.   Mind you, this trend may vary from continent to continent, country to country and culture to culture.  From what I hear people (of all ages, married and single), are banging everything barring tree trunks and telephone poles. L.  As someone remarked to me the other day: "they'll bang anything that has a pulse". 

It is interesting to read your experience, Tiny. I have never met a virgin man, or rather never dated one. And my husband sure wasn't virgin either. Far from it!

Porn, well, I can take it or leave it.  It becomes repetitive, and a bit tedious. 

I prefer the real thing!

 

 

 

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You are right, LaHermes. It does vary from continent to continent, age too. I guess I should have specified, I was speaking more about the US, where I'm from. I'm not sure if other countries are seeing similar trends but in the US, more and more people are having less sex.

Now, that does not translate to "being less sexual". Perhaps porn and toy use is up. But people are reporting substancially less intercourse compared to years ago.

Here's a link to a study within a medical journal. Time frame used was 2000-2018, so this predates the pandemic, which I'm sure tanked sex and romance for tons of people, myself included to some degree.

When I was in college and even for a few years out of college, I definitely saw people screwing everything that moves. Hell, I know some people who still do. I used to work with a guy who now has, I kid you not, 8 young children with like 5 different women. I don't even know how he manages to get all that tail and he's in his late 30s too. 

However, IME, he's the exception to the rule. I've noticed a marked difference upon entering my 30s, at least where I live. I see a lot less "screwing around" by those my age, although yes, it still happens. Why this is, I think it varies from person to person and their own individual life experiences.

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Oohh la la Fudgie.  Late 30s is a great age! not to mention late 40s.  Any age or time is good for sex.  It is hard to understand why there would be a decrease in an activity which is such fun!

So maybe this (real or perceived) decrease in sexual activity is the reason for so much increased neuroticism.

"Sex is a good cardiovascular workout, which increases oxygen supply to the brain and all other parts of the body. Sex reduces stress and keeps us in a state of deeper relaxation in our high-stress culture."

" Healthy sex has a hugely positive effect on your general health, too. Stress reduction, lower blood pressure, improved immune function, reduced risk of prostate cancer, pain reduction, sounder sleep, a healthy heart, and better self-esteem top the seemingly endless list of reasons to put your sexuality front and center when prioritizing your life. In men, the frequency of sex is a predictor of longevity. In women, enjoyment of sex is a predictor of longevity. "

"Paying attention to the sensations in the body, delighting in giving and receiving arousal, being fully present, coordinating the breath, enjoying the journey with non-attachment about the outcome allows for plenty of excitement at any age.

In a study about Happiness and Sex, conducted at Dartmouth by David Blachflower in conjunction with Andrew Oswald at the University of Warwich in England, drew a sample of 16,000 people. They found that sex enters so strongly and positively in happiness equations that they estimate that increasing intercourse from once a month to once a week is equivalent to the amount of happiness generated by adding an additional $50,000 in yearly income for the average American. The happiest folks are those getting the most sex."

 

From:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/202106/sex-is-good-you

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6 hours ago, Tinydance said:

I'm so sorry you are in Sydney  😞 I was meant to be travelling to Sydney in two weeks to see my friends there but it doesn't look like I'll be able to now 😢 I'm actually in Melbourne and weirdly just this time we don't have a lockdown. But usually we do lool

I would stay away from Sydney if I was you! The delta variant of Covid is rampant here !!!!😟

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