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I’m very jealous and crazy when it comes to other girls and my boyfriend looking at them (we’ve discussed it a lot and I’m working on getting better with it) but he’s going to go into art school and is going to have to draw forms of naked models (in person) and I’m terrified and not sure how to handle it. 

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19 minutes ago, Gingerm said:

I’m very jealous and crazy when it comes to other girls and my boyfriend looking at them 

How long have you been dating? How old is he? How is your relationship in general?

You don't seem happy or secure in this situation or with him.

What are you going to school for and what sort of interests can you get more involved in to take your mind off this?

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Do you mean he ogles them, cranes his head over his neck to stare at them, or that you get jealous when he peers up at the waitress to give his order, or that you expect him to stare down at his shoes while you two walk together in case he spots someone more beautiful and takes off after her, yanking the leash out of your hand?

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1 hour ago, Gingerm said:

I’m very jealous and crazy when it comes to other girls and my boyfriend looking at them (we’ve discussed it a lot and I’m working on getting better with it) but he’s going to go into art school and is going to have to draw forms of naked models (in person) and I’m terrified and not sure how to handle it. 

This is simple.  Dating fine artists is not for you. And that's ok.  That's how you handle it.  The alternative is to work on the self-talk and find mantras that work for you to talk yourself down from these types of fears and concerns.  Subjecting your boyfriend to any of it, even a little bit, is not OK.

I would not be ok with my partner looking at other women in a staring/ogling way for several reasons especially in front of me.  Totally fine to notice attractive looking people in person or on TV but for me it stops at ogling and or rude/objectifying comments.  

Edited by Batya33
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Either you can learn how to accept the nature of all of us each being unique and beautiful in our own ways, or you'll drive off men with your behavior, and they'll go find someone who can do that.

Appreciating your unique value can start with appreciating nature in different forms--start with animals. Consider why you would never trade your own pet for something different because you LOVE your pet. 

Work with a therapist to learn how to become comfortable in your own skin.

This has nothing to do with controlling the sight of others. Attempts to do that will only cause the very loss that you're trying to avoid, because nobody who is healthy can stand being around someone who attempts to control them.

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I was a fine arts major in college. I ultimately ended up doing it as a minor, but I took tons of classes, including a couple figure drawing classes. It's not a sex show. The models are just regular people. Old people, young people, hairy men with beer guts (so glad I didn't get that guy lol). It's someone just sitting there, naked, and you draw all of the little rolls of fat on their body. 

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3 hours ago, Gingerm said:

I’m very jealous and crazy when it comes to other girls and my boyfriend looking at them (we’ve discussed it a lot and I’m working on getting better with it)

What exactly have you been doing to work on your jealousy?

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3 hours ago, Gingerm said:

I’m very jealous and crazy when it comes to other girls and my boyfriend looking at them (we’ve discussed it a lot and I’m working on getting better with it) but he’s going to go into art school and is going to have to draw forms of naked models (in person) and I’m terrified and not sure how to handle it. 

Does he leer at other girls with his tongue hanging out, stating loudly that he'd love to have sex with them...or do you two happen to walk past other girls and they are in his line of vision?

And do you think he's going to have sex with the art school models?

If you have good reasons to not trust him...why are you with him?

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For him to have gotten this far with HIS interest and studies, I can tell you he did not focus on his 'arts' due to women.

This is a part of his studies.

They need to take classes. And sure, one of the classes does involved 'nude people'.  It's been happening forever!  And no one is ever near the 'posers'.  They go in, disrobe, sit in their positions and the students do their work - all from a distance.

That is it.

IF this is bothering you this much, this is really not a good thing 😕 .

If you have some issue with him & his studies, then I am guessing you've got problems with more than just this?

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5 hours ago, Gingerm said:

I’m very jealous and crazy when it comes to other girls and my boyfriend looking at them (we’ve discussed it a lot and I’m working on getting better with it) but he’s going to go into art school and is going to have to draw forms of naked models (in person) and I’m terrified and not sure how to handle it. 

I was an art graduate and let me tell you, none of the models we had were attractive or hot, or fit. Sometimes it's going to be men modeling naked. The instructor always preferred curvy older women to draw because it's more about form and shape. But maybe 3 or 4 times we had a nude model, the rest was the usual bowel of fruit or work boots, etc. There was never anything sexual about it at all.

Edited by smackie9
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Keeping someone from doing what they love to do or want to pursue is a recipe for disaster so that's good that you're recognizing your fears and looking for ways to think about things differently. Ask him about his classes and what he thinks his interests are in. Similar to photography, not everyone does portraits. There are landscape and wild life photographers. I think your nervousness may be coming from lack of more info or not understanding what he's interested in. If it's a first year class perhaps this course is mandatory but not actually what he's interested in in the first place. Talk with him more about his interest in the arts. It's more about learning about each other along the way.

Edited by Rose Mosse
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Well I think the thing about being in a relationship is that your partner may very well be in situations around people of the opposite gender. That really can't be helped. He may work with women, have some female friends and of course just be around women in general. E.g. Be served by women in a shop or a cafe.

What needs to happen is you need to have trust in your partner that they are with YOU and they choose you above all other people.

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I have been drawing nude models in a professional setting since I was 14, and went to art school...and NOPE, ZERO times I have ever been attracted to a model.  And I have been a few photo shoots with art photographers, and NOPE, No sexuality behind it.   Either you need to take a deep breath and relax, and learn to love your own body to realize, it's just a naked body, or you two are NOT a compatible match, and that is okay.  Not everyone can be cool with all professions out there in this world.

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1 hour ago, arjumand said:

Her Tattoobunnie, did you go to high school in Chicago? Sounds just like the program my daughter did. 

My afterschool program was in NY.  Drawing nudes is a part of any foundation course for drawing worldwide.  It's been common practice to draw nudes since the 1400s.  

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