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Love language/meaning of love


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So my girlfriend of 3.5 years are going through some things. My fault I held everything in and didn't open up and the stree anxiety depression got to me and I snapped. I broke it off when I really didn't want to. We are talking again taking it kind slow and making a plan together for our possible future. I say possible because I'm getting a strange vibe. 

Last night she asked me via text what my love language is and what do I think the meaning of love is or why I say i love her. 

Now I'm a pretty sophisticated guy but at the same time I'm a pretty simple man little backwoods t shirt jeans work boots kinda guy. I'm also not very emotional probably because I've been through so much *** I really dont show my feelings. 

I have never heard of this love language had to Google it or to define what I think love is. To me love is no one thing it's a feeling its something or someone that you enjoy being with it, that you can see growing with encouraging one another to do or be better. Things I love about her is shes a great mom trying to do her best, shes kind and funny.  When I'm with her its effortless doesn't feel forced or awkward. That's just some of the things. 

Thoughts opinions ect, maybe I'm looking at this from the wrong angle. 

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Ask her why she is asking you.  There's a song from the show Fiddler on the Roof called something like "do you love me" -your girlfriend might like the lyrics -you might too.  You don't need to know what your love language is, you don't need to be 'sophisticated" to feel and give love.  I think she's looking for a way to analyze the relationship and through that analysis figure out what to do.  If she felt comfortable with you and loving towards you she likely wouldn't question to this type of extent.  

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Don't discuss such important things over text. Tell her you want to have the discussion in person. What you said is lovely. I'd tell her that and also probably tell her what she does to make you feel loved. I'd ask her what you do to make her feel loved, and if there is something she desires to have you two emotionally connecting in ways you may have neglected or never engaged in.

And it doesn't matter what your past is. Carrying around that heavy emotional luggage gets old and gets in the way of really connecting with a partner. Nobody wants to be with someone closed off. That's a shallow way of living and like trying to share a life with an acquaintance. Evolve into being a worthy partner to deserve a worthy partner.

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1 hour ago, Depressed101 said:

Last night she asked me via text what my love language is and what do I think the meaning of love is or why I say i love her. 

I feel she wants you to try harder on explaining yourself and with all that has happened, she may be questioning a few things about YOU . 

Maybe IF you are 'able' to give properly, etc.

Is a big difference in someone 'saying something' and 'showing it'.

 

1 hour ago, Depressed101 said:

I held everything in and didn't open up and the stree anxiety depression got to me and I snapped. I broke it off when I really didn't want to.

Do you mean was YOU with stress & depression?

If it has affected you within your relationship, it can very well occur again. 

 

1 hour ago, Depressed101 said:

I'm also not very emotional probably because I've been through so much *** I really dont show my feelings. 

The above is concerning... because, should you two get back together, all of this reflecting on YOU is a negative - as this is what caused your BU, correct?  So, the same problems will arise - because nothing's  changed.

With you being emotionally unavailable & bottling things up until you snap - none of this is good when you are involved.. It's one of the main causes of arguments. A successful relationship required communication, respect, honesty, energy, time.. etc.

 

Maybe you should both focus on only each other for a while so you can work on the reason's for your BU?

 

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She doesn't trust you completely. You broke her trust by ending the relationship so don't overanalyze this. That she stuck around is surprising. I also hope that you are working on lowering your stress and anxiety.

She's finding reasons to reconnect with you and see whether you're a match for her in the same way you're rethinking whether she's a good match for you. 

Engage with her in the way that Andrina mentioned and let it lead into more conversation about what the two of you want to see more of in each other. That's the only way to learn more or grow a little deeper in your commitment or in the relationship. 

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10 hours ago, Depressed101 said:

. I broke it off when I really didn't want to. We are talking again.

what my love language is and what do I think the meaning of love is or why I say i love her. 

It seems like rhetorical questions. She is testing you to gauge your sincerity, since you dumped her.

Step back from this. Sort out your stress, depression, anxiety first.

She is protecting herself from you by asking you backhanded questions about your indecisiveness and tossing her.

Don't bother answering these. What she's saying is "you dumped me so don't love me". It's that simple. She wants you to know that.

Take some time off to reflect and decide what you want.

Edited by Wiseman2
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I am not the smartest so please don't take what I say to heart because I could be wrong but love language usually means how do you choose or prefer to express your love for others. For me I am able to best show my love through physical touch, hugging, kisses, etc. Your love language may be gift giving, or talking, etc. Not sure if this makes sense or helps at all!! Take it a day at a time what is meant to be will be!

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