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My boyfriend is the only person I have ever been with, kissed, had sex with and been on a date with. I rejected other guys before him. He has slept with 15 people and has had a threesome and been at an orgy. I know the details of his experiences and they really get to me, making me angry and upset often as I cannot stop thinking about it. Should I leave him and find someone else? We sort of plan on being together for the rest of our lives but I cannot come to terms with what he has experienced and what I have missed out on. 

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1 minute ago, Amyyyy said:

 I know the details of his experiences and they really get to me, making me angry and upset often as I cannot stop thinking about it. 

How long have you been dating? How old is he? Why is he bragging to you about all this?

It's clear you are not compatible and don't feel good about who he is or what he does.

Yes end it. You need to date more men than just him to find someone to spend your life with. Not all guys brag about their sexual adventures or have orgies.

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58 minutes ago, Amyyyy said:

He is 21 and I’m 19. We have been dating for 8 months but I really will find it hard and am unsure if I should end it with him.

Why did he share the details with you?  Please please don't say "he was just being honest".  That's oversharing, not honest.  Check out the lyrics to Carly Simon's "we have no secrets".

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So he's 21, had sex with 15 people, threesomes and an orgy.  Yes, I would say you guys are incompatible.  On totally different wavelengths and there's nothing wrong with you not wanting this.  If it doesn't match what you would like in a partner, then cut your losses and find someone who matches your morals and values.  This guy is not it.

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2 hours ago, Amyyyy said:

We sort of plan on being together for the rest of our lives

You plan on it... sort of?

Sounds like HE has had a major interest in 'trying' things out, sexually. Some are.

But he's been your first and seems you are overwhelmed with his past.

Maybe he just isn't for you.

As for what you think 'you may have missed out on'.. then, you are thinking, remaining 'only' with him, you will not get to experience this as well?

 

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1 hour ago, Capricorn3 said:

So he's 21, had sex with 15 people, threesomes and an orgy.  Yes, I would say you guys are incompatible.  On totally different wavelengths and there's nothing wrong with you not wanting this.  If it doesn't match what you would like in a partner, then cut your losses and find someone who matches your morals and values.  This guy is not it.

This is exactly what i was going to say.  Move on from him, you are not compatible.  

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It is unclear if you are disgusted by his past or jealous of it. The way you describe it sounds as though you feel very much put off by it, but you end the post by saying you don’t want to miss out on experiences as a result of being committed to him, which lends itself to the idea you are jealous.

If you feel the former then your sexual morals/values are incompatible. If the latter, then perhaps look at ways you and your bf can spice things up.

Edited by LotusBlack
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Assuming he's telling the truth (and I wonder if he's exaggerating and just trying to make himself seem like some sort of sex god), I would not continue this relationship. 

I say that not because he's a lot more experienced, but because your levels of experience and feelings about sex are totally incompatible and it's already causing issues. I also question how you know all of this, whether you're asking for those details or whether he's volunteering them. 

None of it sits right. 

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8 hours ago, Amyyyy said:

He is 21 and I’m 19. We have been dating for 8 months but I really will find it hard and am unsure if I should end it with him.

You're very young, OP. And eight months is but a drop in an ocean.. way too short to be thinking of forever. Take your time. Don't rush into marriage. When you think about spending your life with someone, those thoughts are usually joyful, excited and blissful, not jealous, completely broken and torn up, confused and annoyed. Take your time figuring things out as you go along once you end this. 

Spend more time on yourself too, finish college or school and work. Develop yourself a bit more and don't give all that up for someone you've only known for eight months. Worrying about your partners' sex life should also be the least of your concerns. Think bigger for yourself.

 

 

 

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At the risk of sounding like a boring old adult, I am going to say this-- You are young.  You have a lot of life to live.  Do not commit yourself to one guy.  Especially one that is not compatible with you.

I agree with the other poster that said he could be exaggerating his experience.  To be completely, frank, orgies and threesomes are not super common.  OK?  So the fact that he has experienced this so young, makes me think it's either a lie or he is running in a very different crowd than you are.

I would let my own feelings guide me here.  What I mean is-- do not suppress your guy feelings and intuition about a situation or a guy to conform to someone else's ideals or to keep a guy.

You know his behavior is not in line with yours.  It's 8 months, you owe him nothing.  OK?  If you feel uncomfortable with this and him-- end it.  

I remember when I was a young woman, I thought love meant accepting everything about a person.  Not really knowing that the most important person in my life and the one I have to accept, love and listen to ABOVE ALL is myself.  

You can do better.  Either way-- he's either a lame poser or a freak in the sheets.  LOL.  You can do better.  

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