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is it weird to have flirted with a co worker?


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i got a job at a pool about a month ago  working the snack bar and i’ve really fancied one of the lifeguards there and didn’t know if he had any interest in me too, and since its just a summer job i wanted to make it known that i at least thought he was attractive. so a few days ago i went to give him some food he ordered and it was just him and one other lifeguard sitting there so i decided to say something since it wasn’t a big group of people and i didn’t think it would get too weird. so i looked right at him and i said “your eyes are beautiful! they go really well with the color of your hair too, i always thought green eyes and brown haie went so well together, i dont know why is just looks so good!” about 5-10 minutes after, one of the other lifeguards came up to the snack bar to get a drink and another one came up and started whispering to him what i had just said (and made it super obvious) i think he was just being playful because he was saying stuff like “im gonna teach him how to pick up women” and i’m friends with all of the other lifeguards and they like to tease me all the time so it might have been just that or if they actually thought it was really weird for me to say that. but either way, it made me feel really awkward after.

i saw him the next day and he said hi to me and was being friendly as usual. i saw him again today but we never talked but probably because we were really busy. he seems to be acting the same around me but i just feel really weird going around him now. i’m scared i made him uncomfortable or that the lifeguards were actually just laughing at me instead of joking around with me like usual. we’re a few years apart too, (16 and 19) although its not the biggest age gap (and still technically legal if anything did happen because of age of consent laws in my state) it could still play a part on wether or not i made things weird. although i dont exactly know if he even knows i’m 16 and i’m only guessing hes 19, he could be 18 or even 20 because i googled him and saw he graduates college in 2024. and finally, my boss just told me shes moving me to the check in desk so i’ll be sitting with him almost all of the time now, which i would be excited about but i just feel so weird even talking to him. i’m too nervous anything i say will come off the wrong way. was what i said too flirty or weird? did i come on too strong? what if he doesn’t find me pretty and they were all just laughing at me. it may just be all in my head but i’m a terrible over thinker and i don’t know what to do.  

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Well it's not the end of the world that you flirted with him. But if he's not flirting back or really talking to you much afterwards then I would guess he's actually not interested. He could have a girlfriend or maybe he is actually 19 or 20 and he thinks you're a bit too young for him. I know it's not a huge age gap but it might seem like it to him if you're still in high school but he's in college. He's around college girls all the time because college lectures and classes tend to be very big. So he probably has plenty of other girls he talks to. I mean, you gave him a very strong sign that you're into him but he doesn't seem to be taking the bait. I probably wouldn't continue saying anything flirtatious anymore unless he's actually flirting back. Coz if someone is not interested it's too forceful to keep hitting on them.

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Nah, guys rarely get complimented so it probably made his year 😉

 

Actually, since guys rarely get compliments from women, he probably wouldn't even realize it was flirty and probably just think 'oh she liked my eyes not me' and not even have a clue..

Edited by mical
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6 hours ago, celiagracie said:

 i dont exactly know if he even knows i’m 16 and i’m only guessing hes 19. my boss just told me shes moving me to the check in desk 

Why not leave him alone so he can do his job? You're crush is fine but stay in your own lane.

Date boys your own age and who ask you out.

Don't chase after guys at work and make everyone uncomfortable or jeopardize thier jobs.

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I think it's good that you spoke your mind. Whether anything comes of it or not, you can look back and say that you tried. That's a good feeling to have, even if you sometimes get yourself in an awkward situation while trying.

You're 16 and he's 19 and this is a summer job. You're meant to have a little fun. Just relax and put it behind you. You've made yourself clear; the ball is now in his court.

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When my friend and I were 12-13 we hung out at her community pool.  There was a hot lifeguard who was 20.  I know - she ended up fooling around with him (not sex).  A couple of years later they reconnected when the age difference wasn't such a big deal.  Now they've been together over 30 years.  You never know.

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11 hours ago, Batya33 said:

When my friend and I were 12-13 we hung out at her community pool.  There was a hot lifeguard who was 20.  I know - she ended up fooling around with him (not sex).  A couple of years later they reconnected when the age difference wasn't such a big deal.  Now they've been together over 30 years.  You never know.

The first guy I ever kissed was 20. I was 14. That's all it was, a kiss. It was the wee hours of the morning. I had snuck out of our townhouse in the Outer Banks and walked over to the beach. I wandered up to a bonfire with people around it--all a bit older than me. He was there, and we hit it off. Hung out for a few hours. Then we went our separate ways. 

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2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

The first guy I ever kissed was 20. I was 14. That's all it was, a kiss. It was the wee hours of the morning. I had snuck out of our townhouse in the Outer Banks and walked over to the beach. I wandered up to a bonfire with people around it--all a bit older than me. He was there, and we hit it off. Hung out for a few hours. Then we went our separate ways. 

When I was 14 I was a summer intern and my college age bosses took me to a bar and bought me a drink (no I did not get drunk) -the one who was 19 or 20 kissed me.  It's so funny how these days that would be a huge deal in a negative way -the underage "drinking" the kiss "without consent" our ages - back then I didn't see it that way -I was surprised but it was fun.  It was a one time thing. Never spoke about it again, never kissed again, all was normal.  

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2 hours ago, Tinydance said:

I didn't kiss an older guy when I was under age but when I was like 11-12 I tongue kissed some boys my age playing spin the bottle lol

You naughty thing lol!

I never played that game. I don't think I ever had the chance to play... which is a good thing, because I'm pretty sure that I was secretly terrified of it. The fact that my first kiss was with a complete stranger that I'd never see again really solved a lot of problems in my adolescent brain lol.

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I think what you said was adorable, and I would NOT overthink it.

Paying someone a compliment is hardly scandalous behavior, or even 'weird'.

As long as you assume a position of confidence in the things you've said rather than skulking away from them, you're golden.

Sounds more like the guys were making fun of their friend for not showing bravado in front of them rather than making fun of you, although some people do love to play when they learn the vulnerabilities of others.

So don't act like it's a vulnerability. Instead, own it. No matter what your age, flirting is only as good as it is kind. You've done the opposite of the mean pig-tail pull that little boys do when they like someone, you've extended an olive branch for friendship or more. Stay true to that.

You have the whole summer to work this job, so I'd consider it in my own best interests to view myself through a confident lens rather than 'weird' one. Don't shoot for OVER confidence, but don't backpedal from being your kind Self.

Head high.

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