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got crush on a girl who just got out of relationship


bliirt
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I met this girl in March during a small party, we kinda had good times. But because of shyness and all that, I didn’t get chance to get her contacts. Fast forward in May, shr got my contact from friend after she saw my photo posted somewhere. We started talking normally everyday. We met again on her bd and to my surprise she pulled me to the dark area where she initiated kiss and started getting intense but later stopped. After that we started talking everyday, obviously i liked that girl. And later i told her my intentions and all i want from all this which is something serious. Few days later, i asked if we can meet for coffee somewhere, she told me she wants us to stop hanging out for 2 weeks because she wants to move on from her previous relationship that ended basically in May. And it was kinda shock to me but I respected her decision, but we kept on being on track. Sometimes she talks a lot about sexual things, telling me that she is horny and all that. After those 2 weeks, i asked her if can meet again, surprisingly she agreed. We even slept together that day. And i kept on liking her every but sometimes i feel like she is using me to get over someone, that makes me confused. Sometimes she says that am being too much or pushing her away because expressing my feelings for her which was kinda true. She ended up telling again specifically that she is doesn’t want relationship and she just wants to feel like she is single, only want us to be friends. Now am so confused, one side i feel like maybe i can start off by being a friend that she can rely on and that will become relationship or dating or just forget abd try to move and not text her back again. Am really confused ryt now and i like her so much.

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Yeah she is totally using you for sex and as a rebound. She only just broke up with someone and she's telling you very straight forward that she just wants to be friends. But she means friends with benefits obviously so she can still get sex. I don't think she'll date you so if you're getting hurt you should probably stop seeing her and talking to her.

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Keep away from her. Being friends will put you into the friends zone, and her going to someone else. She rebounding to heal, and feel better about herself. Let her do that with a few guys. maybe 6 months from now she might be interested.

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1 hour ago, bliirt said:

She ended up telling again specifically that she is doesn’t want relationship and she just wants to feel like she is single, only want us to be friends. Now am so confused, one side i feel like maybe i can start off by being a friend that she can rely on and that will become relationship or dating or just forget abd try to move and not text her back again. Am really confused ryt now and i like her so much.

She is not your friend. She's not in the right frame of mind and she is using you as a rebound and you are disposable. She's not ready for a relationship. Don't confuse yourself further deluding or telling yourself a lie that this is a relationship. It's not. This is about her making herself feel better and it has nothing to do with you. In fact she probably couldn't care less about how you felt or what you think. The term "friends" is used loosely for her to get what she wants out of you but make no mistake that she is using you.

Cut your losses and give her a wide berth. You don't need to be rude but you also do not need to agree to everything she says. 

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1 hour ago, bliirt said:

sometimes i feel like she is using me to get over someone

Sometimes she says that am being too much or pushing her away because expressing my feelings for her which was kinda true. 

Pulling back would solve two problems.

Feeling like she's using you to get over someone and her telling you you're smothering her.

Keep in mind she's on/off and still talking to this guy. Don't let this end badly for yourself.

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2 hours ago, bliirt said:

After that we started talking everyday, obviously i liked that girl. And later i told her my intentions and all i want from all this which is something serious. Few days later, i asked if we can meet for coffee somewhere, she told me she wants us to stop hanging out for 2 weeks because she wants to move on from her previous relationship that ended basically in May.

She is nowhere ready to get involved again 😕 .. You be used like a rebound.

Get yourself out of this now, if you can't handle a 'basic friendship'.

 

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10 hours ago, bliirt said:

She ended up telling again specifically that she is doesn’t want relationship and she just wants to feel like she is single, only want us to be friends. Now am so confused,

There is nothing to be confused about. 

She very directly told you this isn't going to become something more. It is best that you believe her and stop communicating with her.  

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You want a relationship but she doesn't.  It is that simple.

You could hang around and have some fun and sex but this isn't a movie where one day she looks in your eyes and realizes she is in love with you. 

  This is bad timing.  Either you play the short game or long game.

Short game you hang in there but at a distance and hook up once in a while while you keep looking for something better or

The long game where you make yourself scarce but keep in touch casually until she is done healing and is ready for a relationship like you want. 

Long or short you need to not wait around for the girl because she isn't waiting around for you.

Lost

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