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What's your opinion on walking dates?


kim42
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3 hours ago, kim42 said:

It's true I'm not crazy about him, but I thought he was nice so I wanted to get to know him a little more, I don't see anything wrong about this.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. 

One thing that stand out though, is that you're already sort of complaining about him. 

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I hope this guy isn't cheap.  I'd suggest as others had mentioned, a stop for tea or coffee after the walk.  Or, go dutch for lunch (each paying his or her way). 

I remember when I dated and it was always lunch, dinner or something like that which was nice. 

Did you say he wanted to come to your place?  He sounds creepy and cheap!  Use your intuition and gut feelings.  If you feel uneasy and uncomfortable, then he's already a red flag.  Something about him doesn't add up. 

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10 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

I hope this guy isn't cheap.  I'd suggest as others had mentioned, a stop for tea or coffee after the walk.  Or, go dutch for lunch (each paying his or her way). 

I remember when I dated and it was always lunch, dinner or something like that which was nice. 

Did you say he wanted to come to your place?  He sounds creepy and cheap!  Use your intuition and gut feelings.  If you feel uneasy and uncomfortable, then he's already a red flag.  Something about him doesn't add up. 

Yes, he wanted to come to my place when we were still in lockdown, I said I didn't like that idea, so now he's been suggesting a walk. 

As O said, I wanted to give him a chance, but I see very little effort from him, when he texts me, it's only to ask me out, the conversation is sort of boring, I tried to initiate a more interesting chat, but it didn't help.

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Ok, just consider him a casual acquaintance rather than a BF who needs to text or "put effort" into dates.

That way you can focus on dating and still have casual friends to take walks, do stuff with, etc.

Next time, ask if he wants to go to a museum with you or do something you like, since you are not dating, just friends.

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I think you are over complicating this.

If something feels off about a guy, trust your instincts and don't bother with him. It doesn't really matter if otherwise what he is offering is normal or would be acceptable to most people. It's not about what he is offering, it's that your gut response is NO. Don't ignore that.

Other thing is that if the guy's idea of a date isn't working for you, just counter to what does work for you and see how he reacts. This right here can be a really revealing moment on whether or not you should date him. Basically, if he shows an attitude about you suggesting something different or continues to debate and counter offer instead of respecting what you want - run.

 

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I would just ask him, "so what's up for only asking me on walking dates?"  And don't add more, just let him respond.  Could be because he wants you to feel safe and comfortable.  He wants to see you in yoga pants.  Or he's cheap.  Or can't plan anything, and this is how it will be like, and BLEH.

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8 hours ago, kim42 said:

Yes, he wanted to come to my place when we were still in lockdown, I said I didn't like that idea, so now he's been suggesting a walk. 

As O said, I wanted to give him a chance, but I see very little effort from him, when he texts me, it's only to ask me out, the conversation is sort of boring, I tried to initiate a more interesting chat, but it didn't help.

He's cheap, wants walking dates and wants to go to your place.  NO.

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I've read somewhere, possibly reddit, that guys do walking dates so they don't spend money and can leave quickly if they don't like the date. While I think walking dates are nice for couples, I think it's tacky for a man that claims to want to date you. If a man is that flaky, cheap and scared, why is he even asking you out?

 

Now, ask him why he wants a walking date. His intentions could be different from what I stated, but you never know. 

 

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8 hours ago, Mona Lisa said:

I've read somewhere, possibly reddit, that guys do walking dates so they don't spend money and can leave quickly if they don't like the date.

I can see how that might be true. But I think walking dates are fine if you're meeting for the first time. Preferable, even. It gives both people an easy out if they find that they aren't into each other for whatever reason. 

Of course, that's not the case here, because Kim42 already knows the guy. I guess the only way she's going to find out if he's flaky and cheap is if she takes a walk with him. 

Kim, did you make a decision?

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4 hours ago, Jibralta said:

I can see how that might be true. But I think walking dates are fine if you're meeting for the first time. Preferable, even. It gives both people an easy out if they find that they aren't into each other for whatever reason. 

Of course, that's not the case here, because Kim42 already knows the guy. I guess the only way she's going to find out if he's flaky and cheap is if she takes a walk with him. 

Kim, did you make a decision?

Focus on op, not me. Thanks. 

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3 hours ago, Mona Lisa said:

Focus on op, not me. Thanks. 

I was.

Title of thread:

What's your opinion on walking dates?

That was my opinion.

Thanks.

😂😂😂

Edited by Jibralta
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On 6/14/2021 at 4:31 AM, kim42 said:

Yes, he wanted to come to my place when we were still in lockdown, I said I didn't like that idea, so now he's been suggesting a walk. 

As O said, I wanted to give him a chance, but I see very little effort from him, when he texts me, it's only to ask me out, the conversation is sort of boring, I tried to initiate a more interesting chat, but it didn't help.

Why should he invest that much into texting when you haven't been on a date yet? he asked you out, so leave the conversation until then.

most of us recommend not to blow up someones phone before the first date.

Edited by smackie9
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1 hour ago, smackie9 said:

Why should he invest that much into texting when you haven't been on a date yet? he asked you out, so leave the conversation until then.

most of us recommend not to blow up someones phone before the first date.

He doesn't have to text me 24/7, but he can at least ask me some questions, I think. Just to establish some connection, I don't know, that's what I like, and what men usually do, at least in Europe. Maybe I am too demanding 🙂 

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8 minutes ago, kim42 said:

He doesn't have to text me 24/7, but he can at least ask me some questions, I think. Just to establish some connection, I don't know, that's what I like, and what men usually do, at least in Europe. Maybe I am too demanding 🙂 

Look, something about him is rubbing you the wrong way and that is ENOUGH to call it quits. You really do not and should not second guess yourself about that or beat yourself up about it.

Communication is huge in any relationship and you are realizing right off the bat that his way is not working for you. There is nothing to overthink here. Instead of an instant click, you have an instant incompatibility. It doesn't make either one of you a bad person, just not right for each other.

You were right to tell him no and I hope he got the message and will seek others instead.

Edited by DancingFool
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