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I'm upset about not being invited to my co-worker's party.


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5 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

So, are you going to host a party elsewhere then? How soon will you have that rented apartment?  In any case you said earlier that your friends only "joked" about having a party. Why is the concept so strange to them, and you?

Why would you have to hide from your parents? You are 25 (not 15).  Tell them you would like to have a party and see how that goes down. 

My parents would never allow it because of a party that my sister once held for one of her birthdays. It was suppose to be a simple get together of a small handful of friends, but it turned into a giant blowout that resulted in damage to property, someone taking a dump in my parents bed, and a fire in our backyard. My parents have said no more parties because of that.

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1 hour ago, That36guy said:

I just don’t know. Maybe Emma just doesn’t see me as close of a friend like others at work, maybe she assumed I would just show up once word of mouth went around, or maybe it has to do with the party being held at the house of one of her friends who has an unrequited crush on me. There are several things to consider here.

Ya I can see this being the reason. Since you show no interest i her, she might be upset about it and she told your coworker not to invite you.

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11 minutes ago, That36guy said:

It was suppose to be a simple get together of a small handful of friends, but it turned into a giant blowout that resulted in damage to property, someone taking a dump in my parents bed, and a fire in our backyard. My parents have said no more parties because of that.

That is dreadful, OP.  And it is unfair that you cannot hold a sociable get together because of your sister's (and her "friends') irresponsible behaviour.

How's about at one of your three friend's homes? 

 

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22 minutes ago, That36guy said:

 someone taking a dump in my parents bed, and a fire in our backyard. My parents have said no more parties because of that.

🤣💩🔥. I think your parents are too strict.

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21 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Ya I can see this being the reason. Since you show no interest i her, she might be upset about it and she told your coworker not to invite you.

Interesting, but this girl who’s crushing on me doesn’t come off as upset. She’s still quite friendly towards me and I get the vibe that she’s still interested in me.

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15 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

That is dreadful, OP.  And it is unfair that you cannot hold a sociable get together because of your sister's (and her "friends') irresponsible behaviour.

How's about at one of your three friend's homes? 

 

Perhaps. One of my friend's parents are extremely paranoid about Covid and they refuse to get vaccinated, so that probably won't work, but the two other friends parents might be more open to it.

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42 minutes ago, That36guy said:

Perhaps. One of my friend's parents are extremely paranoid about Covid and they refuse to get vaccinated, so that probably won't work, but the two other friends parents might be more open to it.

It can be a small cookout with say 10 or 12 people. Doesn't need to be a huge beer bash.

Invite a couple of female coworkers and ask them to bring a friend. You might meet an interesting girl that way.

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Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

It can be a small cookout with say 10 or 12 people. Doesn't need to be a huge beer bash.

Invite a couple of female coworkers and ask them to bring a friend. You might meet an interesting girl that way.

So I'll throw a party and then heavily emphasize snubbing Emma of an invite. Good plan.

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Behave with class.  I wouldn't make a big deal out of this even though your feelings were hurt.  Remain natural, kind, gracious, professional and well mannered.  It's all you can do.  Regardless of her reasons, you were uninvited and I am sorry. 

People do what they will and you can't control them or expect a different outcome each time.  Either you're included or excluded and again, I'm sorry but this is human nature.  I've felt the same in the past as well.  Possess poise and aplomb always and carry on.  Be strong inside and you will be fine. Don't let this slight affect you so much.  I understand how you feel because no one wants to feel slighted,  over sighted, an afterthought or rejected but that's life and it happens. 

Always remember that a true friend or a very good person generally doesn't forget about you regarding invitations.  If they didn't value as much and you were excluded, then don't place so much importance for a person who doesn't give you the same respect, common courtesy and common decency.  That's how I look at it.  While I'm nice to people who are peaceful towards me, I don't go out of my way to invest in them emotionally.  I suggest you do the same.  Whenever you feel more numb towards certain people, you won't get hurt anymore.  Treat people the way they treat you.  If they treat you as if you're special, do the same by reciprocating those same feelings of good will.  If they don't treat you as if you're important to them, then return the favor and treat them exactly the way they treat you so it is fair.  This is what I do and I feel at peace doing so.  You ought to try changing the way you think and act.  With practice, this becomes a life long habit. 

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4 minutes ago, That36guy said:

So I'll throw a party and then heavily emphasize snubbing Emma of an invite. Good plan.

Who said that? I didn't suggest that. Why would you do that? No one will want to come if you do that. 

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11 minutes ago, That36guy said:

So I'll throw a party and then heavily emphasize snubbing Emma of an invite. Good plan.

No, don't do that because you'll be immature and don't act like a jerk.  Invite Emma and be a classy person.  Be kind.  Don't create animosity and issues.  Be a peaceful, good person.  You'll like yourself better.  Be natural,  kind, well mannered and professional at the workplace.  You don't have to be close to Emma but just because you weren't invited it doesn't mean you have to "retaliate."  If you're not at war with Emma, invite her.  I wouldn't go out of my way to be too friendly with her if she's cool but I wouldn't snub her entirely either.  Keep the peace always.  Rise above it.  Be classy.

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When reading the whole thread, to me it all comes down to all humans are different and with that you need to learn to accept that not everyone will like you, or love you, or want to be friends with you.  It seems for her, this is the case with you.  Whatever her reasons are, it's how she feels.

Also, I would never ask her, or anyone else, why she didn't invite me. What for? It is what it is.  What's done is done.

I also wouldn't bother throwing a party for everyone and not invite her.  To me that screams the mentality of a 12 year old, (but that's just me).

You're an adult. Understand that not everyone will like you or want to be your friend.  That's LIFE. Happens to every single one of us.  Get on with your life already.

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16 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

When reading the whole thread, to me it all comes down to all humans are different and with that you need to learn to accept that not everyone will like you, or love you, or want to be friends with you.  It seems for her, this is the case with you.  Whatever her reasons are, it's how she feels.

Also, I would never ask her, or anyone else, why she didn't invite me. What for? It is what it is.  What's done is done.

I also wouldn't bother throwing a party for everyone and not invite her.  To me that screams the mentality of a 12 year old, (but that's just me).

You're an adult. Understand that not everyone will like you or want to be your friend.  That's LIFE. Happens to every single one of us.  Get on with your life already.

So she won’t invite me, a guy whom she regularly goes out of her way to talk to and joke around with, (both while she’s working and while she’s off the clock and comes in to shop) but she’ll invite socially awkward, shy co-workers who don’t talk to anyone and just sit in a corner with their headphones on.

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27 minutes ago, That36guy said:

So she won’t invite me, a guy whom she regularly goes out of her way to talk to and joke around with, (both while she’s working and while she’s off the clock and comes in to shop) but she’ll invite socially awkward, shy co-workers who don’t talk to anyone and just sit in a corner with their headphones on.

Do you have any idea how childish all of this sounds? Seriously, just get on with your life already.

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34 minutes ago, That36guy said:

So she won’t invite me, a guy whom she regularly goes out of her way to talk to and joke around with, (both while she’s working and while she’s off the clock and comes in to shop) but she’ll invite socially awkward, shy co-workers who don’t talk to anyone and just sit in a corner with their headphones on.

She can invite anyone she wants.  Just like you can.

And making a big show of NOT inviting her is seriously middle school stuff.  She didn't go around shouting "I deliberately didn't invite That36guy!!" at work, did she?

If you don't want to invite her to your cookout then don't.  But don't make a big deal out of it.  If she asks just tell her you didn't think you two were close enough friends to be invited to each other's parties.  But it's doubtful she'll ask.

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1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

She can invite anyone she wants.  Just like you can.

And making a big show of NOT inviting her is seriously middle school stuff.  She didn't go around shouting "I deliberately didn't invite That36guy!!" at work, did she?

If you don't want to invite her to your cookout then don't.  But don't make a big deal out of it.  If she asks just tell her you didn't think you two were close enough friends to be invited to each other's parties.  But it's doubtful she'll ask.

Not exactly, but when she seemingly goes out of her way to invite everyone but me, I think I’m right to be a little suspicious and ticked off.

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2 hours ago, That36guy said:

So she won’t invite me, a guy whom she regularly goes out of her way to talk to and joke around with, (both while she’s working and while she’s off the clock and comes in to shop) but she’ll invite socially awkward, shy co-workers who don’t talk to anyone and just sit in a corner with their headphones on.

I'm sorry you're hurt and offended, That36guy.  I hear you.  No one enjoys feeling ignored, snubbed or rejected for whatever reason. 

Don't obsess over this.  It's over.  Rise above this by continue being kind, well mannered and professional at the workplace.  Always remain a gentleman. 

You can't control how other people are because that's life.  Lower your expectations of others so you won't ruffle your feathers every single time they disappoint you.  In fact, I actually expect the very WORST in people always and if by some chance, they behave better than the worst, I'm satisfied yet very wary and jaded.  This way, you won't feel disrespected easily because your expectations are lower to nil regarding others.  This is what I do psychologically and it works.  Nothing surprises me anymore.  😐

Keep a cool attitude in order to survive in this world.

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45 minutes ago, That36guy said:

Not exactly, but when she seemingly goes out of her way to invite everyone but me, I think I’m right to be a little suspicious and ticked off.

I understand, but making a big show of not inviting her to your event will backfire.  People will think you're being petty and vindictive and they won't want to be your friend.  So rise above it.  Invite your friends but don't say anything about deliberately excluding this person.

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5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Could it be that you come across as a party pooper?

Once you and your Pokemon pals get a place on/off campus you can throw as many parties as you want.

 

Everyone keeps talking about throwing a party of my own, but I honestly don’t know if I should go through with it.

I don’t like the general environment of drunk people running around and I also have to worry about actual hosting duties. If things get really bad (as in the police getting involved) then it’s going to land squarely on me.

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41 minutes ago, That36guy said:

Everyone keeps talking about throwing a party of my own, but I honestly don’t know if I should go through with it.

Start small. A few friends (men and women) for burgers🍔/hot dogs🌭 and keep the alcohol under control and on a BYOB basis. 🍺

Better learn to be a host, especially at college when being sociable is important if you want success making friends and especially if you hope to get dates.

Even if it's ordering some pizza🍕 and having movie night📽📺 with friends etc. Always try to invite roughly the same amount of men and women or ask guys to bring dates..

 

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2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Start small. A few friends (men and women) for burgers🍔/hot dogs🌭 and keep the alcohol under control and on a BYOB basis. 🍺

Better learn to be a host, especially at college when being sociable is important if you want success making friends and especially if you hope to get dates.

Even if it's ordering some pizza🍕 and having movie night📽📺 with friends etc. Always try to invite roughly the same amount of men and women or ask guys to bring dates..

 

And what do I do if I'm dealt with the possibility of nobody being interested in attending? I don't exactly have the partying reputation here at work.

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