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Love or the idea of me - thoughts on whether to continue


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The phone thing is kind of rude. So I can see her saying something about it. But not threatening to not go to a movie with you again. 
Maybe the chopstick thing was a joke, except adding how her mom would feel about it is unnecessary. Who cares how her mom feels about your lack of expertise with chopsticks. Her mom would be real disappointed in me too.

i don’t think it’s wrong for her to say she wouldn’t be with you if you smoked. She’s entitled to feel that way. 
 

Now the son thing is where I find her ridiculous and out of line. I also have a shy, very timid, good boy. He said thank you, who cares how loud? She just wanted to complain and he was the target. As far as him sleeping in, not her business and kids are allowed to get some extra sleep, especially if their PARENT allows them. And once again, who gives a crap what her family would say? She’s judge mental and if her family would have a problem with these things, they are too. Eventually she would probably start berating him and cause him unnecessary stress. I would address this with her and if she can’t resolve it, you should probably end it 

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Well just me personally I don't gel well with people who are really opinionated and dominant and push their opinion unnecessarily. I had a friend exactly like this for 2-3 years and this is how she acted all the time. I tried talking to her about it but people don't change so nothing changed. So a few months ago I actually ended the friendship.

I do want to just reiterate again that people fundamentally don't change. You could talk to her about all these things but she won't just all of a sudden get a different personality. As you say, you are a pretty chill guy and by the sounds of it she's just not. She likes to always express her strong opinions where it's not necessary. She does sound dominant and like she feels she needs to "school" people on how to be and how to live.

Actually it really annoys me as well when people go on their phone in the cinema. The light is annoying and I think it's rude as well. But if you only checked your phone like once or twice tops then I do think it's a bit over the top to be like: "I'm never going to the movies with you again". She sounds a bit full-on.

Regarding your son. She is out of line. Your son did thank her for the lift. So what was her problem? That he didn't say it loud? Totally unreasonable.

The thing is, she might have an opinion on things but it's only HER opinion and she doesn't always have to be blunt and express it. So what if your son was sleeping in until 12:30 p.m. on his day off. Even if she thinks it's bad, it's not hurting anyone and it's not her child. She actually has no right to comment on how you're raising your son (nothing wrong with it) because she hasn't even been dating you very long. Six weeks is not long at all. It's not like she married you and she's his actual step mum. She's just a new girlfriend on the scene. Besides your son sounds like he's behaving Totally fine and respectful. He's also not a child, he's a teenager. He's already been raised, in a sense. She has no place in saying how he should act. It's not like trying to instruct a 2-year-old because they're so young and have no idea how to act. And she has no kids herself so zero experience. What gives her the right to be on her high horse.

Personally I would be pretty put off by all this but it's your call.

Edited by Tinydance
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On 6/10/2021 at 4:31 AM, SooSad33 said:

If she is a rude/ sarcastic person and this is just how she is = she won't change.  It's like an attitude or learned behaviour.

In other words.. IF she wanted to change, she could someday LEARN to be more thoughtful, be more considerate

But you see, the OP says " no one is perfect".  LOL.

Not more thoughtful and more considerate, SS, just have better manners.  But then as the saying goes, you can dress a monkey in silks but it is still a monkey. 

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