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How do I apologize to my crush after I snapped at her?


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Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, That36guy said:

What if I just let her be, things don't work out with her new boyfriend, and she decides to come back to me since she liked me to begin with?

She was interested in interacting with you on a friendly basis before you behaved that way.  For any self respecting person how you behaved would be a total dealbreaker.  Please leave her alone -never ever contact her again in any manner.  No apology, no nothing - because at this point given your choices and how you treated this person any typed apology will either be blocked or if read will most likely be interpreted as a way for you to interact with her again and she will NOT want to have any interaction with you other than perhaps through her boyfriend who may want to have a word with you or the police.  If she enters your store keep your physical distance and if you have to interact from a business standpoint and can't find anyone else to interact in your place keep it 100% formal and neutral and business.  All business.  You do want to keep your job, right?

Edited by Batya33
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7 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Not necessarily, no. 

She has a boyfriend now so she had already lost interest in you. Your attack on her only ensured she will never come looking for you if she becomes single again. 

That's not fair. She was interested in me well before she met this Kyle guy at their stupid motorcross crap.

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12 minutes ago, That36guy said:

That's not fair. She was interested in me well before she met this Kyle guy at their stupid motorcross crap.

You don’t respect her or her hobbies so you’re not interested at this point you’re just mad because of your ego. Let it go your chances are done. 

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16 minutes ago, That36guy said:

That's not fair. She was interested in me well before she met this Kyle guy at their stupid motorcross crap.

But she isn't interested now.

You seem to believe how you want things to be is how they should be. And get angry and resentful when things don't go your way. Unfortunately that is life. As Mick said, you can't always get what you want.

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And you wonder why you're single... 

Time to grow and that means don't stalk and be a creep still wanting a "chance." 

An attractive man is not a desperate angry guy who thinks there's still hope after throwing a hissy fit with emojis.

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1 minute ago, LootieTootie said:

And you wonder why you're single... 

Time to grow and that means don't stalk and be a creep still wanting a "chance." 

An attractive man is not a desperate angry guy who thinks there's still hope after throwing a hissy fit with emojis.

Actually I'm wondering what exactly she sees in this Kyle guy.

I've been to his Facebook and he honestly has the mind of a teenager. All of his posts are basically him bragging about being offensive and politically incorrect and his feed his filled with him posting all of these click bait fake news articles like "CHINA WILL START WORLD WAR 3 ON THIS DATE" and "NASA CONFIRMS METEOR TO HIT EARTH NEXT MONTH". He just comes across as a gullible middle schooler who just discovered the internet for the first time. I really don't get what she sees in him.

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7 minutes ago, That36guy said:

Actually I'm wondering what exactly she sees in this Kyle guy.

I've been to his Facebook and he honestly has the mind of a teenager. 

🙄 Says the guy who threw a tantrum with emojis after being rejected.

I am raising two teenage boys and believe me, you and this guy aren't far from their maturity level and yes, I'm brutally honest with them too.

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8 minutes ago, That36guy said:

He just comes across as a gullible middle schooler who just discovered the internet for the first time. I really don't get what she sees in him.

I think you need to reverse this statement, insert your name and own your own choices and faults.  In short, this ship has sailed and the ball is in your court to choose the next step in order to control your behaviour/actions.

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15 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Well it doesn’t matter what you think of him it matters what she thinks of him. 

That's exactly what I'm trying to work out. I'm far from perfect, but I can honestly say that I'm better than this Kyle guy. I don't fall for blatantly false tabloid articles, nor do I feel the need to beat over people's heads this asinine point about being intentionally offensive.

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Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

You couldn't get the courage up to ask her out and then when you finally did she was taken.  You weren't mad at her, you were mad at yourself for waiting to long and you took it out on her. Dumb move but you can learn from your huge mistake.  Any chance you might have had is now gone and the worst part any of her friends that might have been interested in you now know the story.

  You need to get a handle on your anger issues and spend some time figuring out why you thought it was okay to attack her or anyone for that matter because they rejected you.  This is serious and you need to take it that way.

  Leave her alone and if by chance you do run into her apologize for being a jerk, wish her well and then walk away. 

I endorse every word Lost.  OP is, he says, 25.   

Just seen this!

" I snapped and sent her a message full of insults, cuss words, and the middle finger emoji."

Well, that's one way to woo a lady! You need help, a lot, before your obsessive and damaging behaviour lands you in real trouble. 

And OP says  (look who's talking lol😞

"I'm wondering what exactly she sees in this Kyle guy.

I've been to his Facebook and he honestly has the mind of a teenager. "

Edited by LaHermes
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7 minutes ago, That36guy said:

That's exactly what I'm trying to work out. I'm far from perfect, but I can honestly say that I'm better than this Kyle guy. I don't fall for blatantly false tabloid articles, nor do I feel the need to beat over people's heads this asinine point about being intentionally offensive.

Instead of trying to work it out move on that ship has sailed. She’s not coming back. Just go on with your life. 

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10 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Instead of trying to work it out move on that ship has sailed. She’s not coming back. Just go on with your life. 

I need to figure it out. I need to know how Kyle succeeded where I failed. If for nothing else, I can take notes from him on how to actually get with a girl.

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1 minute ago, That36guy said:

I need to figure it out. I need to know how Kyle succeeded where I failed. If for nothing else, I can take notes from him on how to actually get with a girl.

Omg... this isn't world of warcraft.

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1 minute ago, That36guy said:

I need to know how Kyle succeeded where I failed. 

He didn't send her an F-you text replete with obscenities and vulgar emojis. Imagine that.🤔

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2 minutes ago, That36guy said:

I can take notes from him on how to actually get with a girl.

Have you taken utter leave of your senses OP?!!  Do you realise how INSANE and deranged that sounds!

Never mind that (contradictions again) you are intending to copy this hated and loathsome Kyle's style and methods! 

Please seek help OP.  Sincerely.

 

 

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3 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

Have you taken utter leave of your senses OP?!!  Do you realise how INSANE and deranged that sounds!

Never mind that (contradictions again) you are intending to copy this hated and loathsome Kyle's style and methods! 

Please seek help OP.  Sincerely.

 

 

I'm not talking about copying Kyle's methods of being a gullible degenerate, I'm simply referencing the fact that he obviously did something right to get with this girl. They somehow made a connection, he somehow wooed her. That's what I'm trying to work out here.

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1 hour ago, LootieTootie said:

An attractive man is not a desperate angry guy who thinks there's still hope after throwing a hissy fit with emojis.

Will you please, please stop this stalkerish and obsessive behaviour and heed the advice being given by ALL the posters here! And get help if you are unable to conduct your life in a stable and half-way normal fashion.

 

4 minutes ago, hoshi said:

You sound like a psycho. Please set your priorities straight. 

What Hoshi said. 

 

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3 minutes ago, That36guy said:

I'm not talking about copying Kyle's methods of being a gullible degenerate, I'm simply referencing the fact that he obviously did something right to get with this girl. They somehow made a connection, he somehow wooed her. That's what I'm trying to work out here.

Didn't she already answer your question about this? She said that she got tired of waiting for you and she found someone else who was willing to engage meaningfully or take a chance asking her out. Don't internalize all this anger and resentment. It's good that you want to improve but she answered your question, you know the answers also before she answered it. It's a matter of timing out and having some time to reflect. 

In the end she was a customer at the store and you hesitated probably for your own good reasons and when you saw her with someone else it upset you. It's not that complicated. You will be ok if you stop all the overthinking and resentment and anger towards others just because things don't work out your way. 

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Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, hoshi said:

this situation is completely immature and absurd.

You said it Hoshi!  And deranged and insane as well.

And this is precisely the reaction your oft mentioned "fear of rejection" produces in you. Rage, tantrums and insults to the rejecting person?!

 

Edited by LaHermes
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Seems like Kyle actually goes out and does stuff. He doesn't wait in line for Pokemon cards on Friday nights. He doesn't spend all his time gaming, watching TV and eating pizza.

And he actually spoke to her. Instead of deciding he'd "settle for" her because he felt he had no other options and waited for her to make yet another move after she asked him to go to a party (and said no because he was playing Fortnite), he probably talked to her. And probably asked her out.

These are dating basics. Girls won't go out with you if you don't even talk to them.

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23 minutes ago, That36guy said:

I need to figure it out. I need to know how Kyle succeeded where I failed. If for nothing else, I can take notes from him on how to actually get with a girl.

Perhaps he didn’t hide behind a screen and verbally attack her.  My sense is if you’re capable of this sort of outburst with no provocation other than unreciprocated interest in dating then she sensed this potential when she interacted with you whether it came across as social awkwardness or veiled hostility or anger or a negative vibe that was a turn off.  Your attack confirmed this.  
the last time I endured a personal attack like this was in july of 2005.  I’d politely told a guy after two dates I wasn’t feeling chemistry and didn’t want him to come see me again since he didn’t live close by.  He politely thanked me over the phone. Then the next morning proceeded to send me email after email hurling accusations at me for leading him on.  I stopped responding.  The last email apologized and asked if we could keep in touch.  I either didn’t respond or did so briefly and politely “no thank you “.  
I was shaken up.  About an hour later my ex fiancée called.  We’d been in touch again almost 8 years after we broke up.  In a purely platonic way.  He asked if I was free last minute for dinner while he was in town.  I was so exhausted from this dude's emails and dating in general I said yes. I knew we wouldn’t discuss our dating lives which was fine by me.  I wasn’t dressed for a date at all.  He wasn’t either and arrived dripping sweat as he first went to the wrong restaurant.  Out of nowhere sparks flew.  Three weeks later after three platonic meet ups we got back together.  Three years and five months later we got married.  
So yes sometimes there can be a chain reaction like that - not settling after meeting too many jerks but perhaps recognizing or reaffirming what’s important and really noticing someone’s awesome qualities.  After your personal attack on this customer of yours I wouldn’t be surprised if she feels even more appreciative of Kyle than ever.  
Take full responsibility.  It’s not just “I’m only human” - you attacked someone.  You intended to. This should be a wake up call for you and if there are no repercussions at work or otherwise - I mean Kyle knows where you work - consider yourself extremely lucky.  Clean up your act before you try to date.  As doctor joy Browne RIP said - dating is a very high level form of socializing - requires more social skills than other interactions.  If someone choosing not to date you triggers you to behave this way then avoid dating until you’re  ready to take responsibility and take actions to insure you never treat someone like this ever again.  

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30 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Seems like Kyle actually goes out and does stuff. He doesn't wait in line for Pokemon cards on Friday nights. He doesn't spend all his time gaming, watching TV and eating pizza.

And he actually spoke to her. Instead of deciding he'd "settle for" her because he felt he had no other options and waited for her to make yet another move after she asked him to go to a party (and said no because he was playing Fortnite), he probably talked to her. And probably asked her out.

These are dating basics. Girls won't go out with you if you don't even talk to them.

Duly noted.

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15 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

You are judgmental, rude, condescending and angry, OP.

That’s where you’re going wrong. You need a serious attitude adjustment and to get down off your high horse. 

Endorsing for good measure.

 

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