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How can I make her forgive me


Porti
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Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, Porti said:

She called me rude but she was trying to find and bond with another person(me) while she had some one in her heart. This is more rude, and evil than my actions. 

She did nothing "rude or evil" She wanted to make friends and get take out food together. 

You made an inappropriate move, she told you. That is called "boundaries".

Not sure what country/language/culture you are, but this is often called the "friendzone".

 It doesn't matter how amazing you think you are, it's time to leave her alone. Next time do not touch women without being clear.

Edited by Wiseman2
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Posted (edited)

 

13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You made an inappropriate move, she told you that is called "boundaries".

Not sure what country/language/culture you are, but this is often called the "friendzone".

So do you go out meet with people just to friend zone them? If it is like you say, it is finding relief by playing with others emotions. Like I said she wanted another date, told me I am attractive person before I kiss her and also She kissed me back on the cheek. Just to friend-zone me? I don't know what country language or culture you are in too,  but this is evil.

She was emotionally unstable women. No matter what you say, I know what I faced.She even told me that when I texted her, "I would like to talk you more, but you are a rude person and you went tooo fast." She also said, "I value Respect too much, and you kissing me was disrespectful."

@Wiseman2 

Edited by Porti
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Posted (edited)

Thanks for all your time and advises. But now I closed this issue in my head. If she is going to forget me, when I try to kiss her cheek, Let her do it. It probably won't worth of my time and thinking. Even she friend-zones me or punishes me for being hasty. I really don't care anymore. I know who I am, never harm anyone intentionally and It is her life, and her loss (Even if @Wiseman2 wants me to feel ashamed :D)

 

Bye.

 

 

Edited by Porti
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1 hour ago, Porti said:

Thank you for your consideration and your time. 

@Capricorn3 She called me through dorm phone system. You can call anyone with their room number.

@Lambert I might make her uncomfortable, I accept, but she came in to my life, gave me flirty signals, and she also did make me uncomfortable. These are not my subjective assessments. She kissed my cheek even after my first kiss forgot to write it. I am sure that she has unstable emotional state. Probably go and find another guy in couple of days (Like I said she told me her heart is not empty, and she probably wants to forget her ex and find a relief.) The guy won't kiss her maybe in his first date but he will kiss and probably go further in couple dates later and this is her choice.

One last note. I really believe I am a nice and polite person. She misunderstood me entirely. But this is her life and choices. She called me rude but she was trying to find and bond with another person(me) while she had some one in her heart. This is more rude, and evil than my actions. 

 

And again if you guys really think I should not contact her again, I won't but not every relationship is this easy. Sometimes calling and texting after sometime, might fix the problem.

 

 

 

 

 

oh. so she was giving mixed signals.

I think in life you will meet people that give mixed signals and do things that don't make sense to you. 

The sooner you just accept and not let bother you, the better.  

She doesn't seem worth the troubles

 

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Why are you "heartbroken"? You just met this woman.

Not all women are going to want to date you. And they can change their minds or decide you're not the right one for them even if they were initially interested. 

Do not give her any more flowers, do not call or text. She said no more, so please be respectful of her wishes. You cannot "make" anyone do anything they don't want to do and you can't "make" a woman want to see you or date you.

Learn how to accept when a woman chooses not to see you anymore and forget about your ego. There are other women out there.

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Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, Porti said:

I waited 1 week. Do you think sending her more flowers would help? 

Do NOT over do this!

You have said sorry for your actions.. Now respectfully back off.

She did not expect or want you to do what you did.

you two just met!  You were talking & eating together.  Yes, you went too far.

She's upset & did not see you that way... so, just back off now and leave her be.

If she sometime wants to 'talk' again, she can reach out to you.

Edited by SooSad33
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In my opinion, she was acting really strange. Who calls someone that they don't know because they heard a cough? I'm sorry that she got your hopes up that there would be a connection or a relationship but I honestly think this girl is weird. I think she could be emotionally unstable from her recent breakup and she may be feeling guilty for pursuing another guy so soon after the break up. Regardless of what the reason is for her acting this way, I think that you should just move on. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a weird interaction, but I don't think it's worth pursuing any further.

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Thank you Mr. PunkRock17 @punkrock17 I think the same. She was one hell of a weird girl. The thing is she didn't even saw me before my cough. She just randomly called me. When she first called me I really afraid, I thought some might go inside my room at the night maybe even attack me. I blocked my door with my chair that night.

The thing is she was lonely because of her break up or something. But I really don't want to care no more. Her choice and I really don't want to think about her no more.

@SooSad33 @boltnrun I  am not a molester, rapist or anything. I am well educated guy with a decent university. I have a mother and I know how to respect women. Believe me or not even if I sent her gift probably she wouldn't care and ignore it. Because I believe she even knows that I am not a weird guy or anything. And one last time, It wasn't even awkward when I kissed her cheek. She were smiling. She didn't say anything bad. Like I said I kissed her twice, she kissed me back one time. She is just emotionally unstable person, who wants to be together with some one but also have weird rules in is head about "respect". 

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Why are you "heartbroken"? You just met this woman.

Why not? You only heartbroken when you know some one for years? Even a day, giving you hope, and leaving can hurt your feelings. I am not a guy who like to jump and hang out from girls to girls. I have feelings too.

I will not text her or call her. It will be better for me. Probably I know her answer anyways. 

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Leave her alone for now and smile in the hallway if you see her. Keep things civil and no more flowers. Stay out of each others' rooms. If she invites you into her room or changes her mind, don't go. Keep things friendly since she's your neighbour. 

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Two things:

One is when a woman says NO it means NO. Period. It is not no,....try again later. Please get this through your head somehow because if you don't, it's only a matter of time before you do end up with a restraining order against you at some point.

Two is that education doesn't mean you are emotionally healthy yourself. Someone who IS emotionally healthy wouldn't be heartbroken or so easily taken in by someone who was acting patently weird. In fact, a healthy response would be to stay away from a person like that attempting to approach you. Nothing good is going to come of that and you are learning that this is true the hard way.

What is going on with you that you can't seem to be able to drop this and move on, especially after being told explicitly to go away?

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I had a man I dated persist in pursuing me even though I had told him I didn't want to date him anymore and was in fact dating someone else. He persisted not because he was "heartbroken" or because he loved me so gosh darned much, but because his ego couldn't handle a rejection. He had always been extremely successful with women and just couldn't comprehend  why I didn't want him. I finally had to clearly and plainly tell him to leave me alone. Then I blocked him.

Don't let your ego run the show. There are literally millions of women on the planet. Many of them would love to date you. Focus on your future instead of looking back at ONE woman who chose not to see you anymore.

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A Couple of thoughts.

Everything went too fast on both parts, and she realized it before you did.

Your trying to apologize is making things worse for both of you.  If you want to make the best of things leave her alone, be polite but distant.

Hounding her could, like Wiseman alluded, have her report you to the University; which will boot you to the curb as soon as look at you. You won't be able to win over a kangaroo court with 6'5" of charm.

Rejection sucks, especially when there seems to be something working; but like much of life it's a great fish that got away story and that's it.

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I think the whole situation is weird. How she even involved herself with you. Regardless you hung out, you tried to kiss her which she didn’t want. You say you respected that, she hugged you goodbye and then the next day she was mad at you. All just strange. Anyway, you apologized and sent flowers and she still wants to be left alone. At this point, leave her alone. There’s no way you can be heart broken over a person you barely know. Your feelings are probably hurt and you maybe disappointed but Those things happen in life 

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2 hours ago, Porti said:

 I  am not a molester, rapist or anything. I am well educated guy with a decent university. I have a mother and I know how to respect women. Believe me or not even if I sent her gift probably she wouldn't care and ignore it. Because I believe she even knows that I am not a weird guy or anything. And one last time, It wasn't even awkward when I kissed her cheek. She were smiling. She didn't say anything bad. Like I said I kissed her twice, she kissed me back one time. She is just emotionally unstable person, who wants to be together with some one but also have weird rules in is head about "respect". 

I have no idea why you'd give such a response on you not being a molester etc?

I am saying to give her space and leave her be... If some guy, I just met up with, within days, just started kissing me, I'd for sure be backing away.

Do YOU think this is right? ( Normal behaviour - of a 'friends'?).

And yeah, I am sure she is emotionally unstable.. and does not really want or need a man chasing her . ( why do you think she wants to be with someone?  Has she not just gotten out of a relationship?)

 

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22 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

Do YOU think this is right?

Depend on the person I guess. Some people don't mind that. I interpreted the signals wrong and went too fast. I am an excited person My bad. 

 

24 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

And yeah, I am sure she is emotionally unstable.. and does not really want or need a man chasing her . ( why do you think she wants to be with someone?  Has she not just gotten out of a relationship?)

Because she asked for date, called me attractive etc. She gave those signals. But I did failed by going to fast 🙂 My bad. But these can happen I guess, we learn from our experiences. 

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Don't let your ego run the show.

Really nice example Miss. But I tell you this, I also had a friend where her girlfriend chased him for sometime. My friend (Male) rejected him, did not response to his messages, did not want to talk with that girl. But the girl did not accept "no" as answer. She fought for like 1-2 weeks maybe more, and picked up my friend. Now they have a happy 5 year relationship and married. What do say about this? In this case the ego won. What is the difference of these situations? If the problems between people can be solved shouldn't they need to fight for it?

BTW last time, I won't text her or call her the issue is closed for me. just want to get girl opinion about this ego thing.

32 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

I have no idea why you'd give such a response on you not being a molester etc?

I felt like all of the girls in this forum were judging me for some moment, tried to defend myself 🙂 Wiseman2 went little bit harsh on me :D I did go fast I accept but like I said I am a excited person.

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1 hour ago, Bothered2021 said:

All just strange.

Yeah strange indeed. I never thought going too fast, might move people away from me. Like I said I am learning.

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No, the women are not accusing you of this stuff...

Most are saying to just back off.  And give her some space & respect.

If you know she's recently out of a relationship, she is not emotionally available or in a good headspace.

So, you back off, as she has shown you ( or said to you) she did not like your advances.

So, no more bothering her.. feeling the need to leave her more flowers, etc.  Like I said, IF she feels like contacting you again to talk, she knows your number.

 

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Don't bother her and leave her alone.  I'm sorry.  She's not interested in you. 

In the future, act like a gentleman and establish friendship for a long time first if you want to play it safe and not scare her off. 

Move on. 

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