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7 minutes ago, tattoobunnie said:

It's called gaslighting.  This is something you will work on and through with a counselor.  I mean, I get that you think you can just get over it or time will heal, but when dealing with a complete narcissist, all hands on deck...the longer you are with them, they more they breakdown what you think is real and what you can trust.  Do not think you are the only one.  They pour on the charm and slowly ease on the abuse.

Wow, you just described him to a T!!!

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OK, so I got the restraining order yesterday.  He should be served with it today.  Also, my daughter filed charges for the items he stole from her.  I filed charges because he stole my wedding dress. 

Your kids are actually setting an example for you here.  They have good boundaries.  They realize they cannot control what their mother does so they make the healthiest choices they can given their ag

Stop involving your children in this decision. You are a grown woman. Getting rid of a man threatening your children should be the number 1 priority. You should be protecting them, not asking them if

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On 6/15/2021 at 3:05 PM, Mommy1995 said:

 

I'm really curious... Has fear kicked in for you?? Do you feel scared of him now?? 

We humans can normalize pretty much anything. It's amazing, really. We adapt to whatever we think is going to meet our needs. He's been filling some need for you. You're going to have to figure that out in therapy, what is so compelling that you've rationalized away so many red flags and so much abuse? 

Therapists have so many resources at their disposal too. I hope you'll prioritize those appointments. He/she will be able to help you in navigating all this. 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, itsallgrand said:

I'm really curious... Has fear kicked in for you?? Do you feel scared of him now?? 

We humans can normalize pretty much anything. It's amazing, really. We adapt to whatever we think is going to meet our needs. He's been filling some need for you. You're going to have to figure that out in therapy, what is so compelling that you've rationalized away so many red flags and so much abuse? 

Agree. I think that's probably why she's been so accepting of everything he says and does. 

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On 6/3/2021 at 11:33 AM, Mommy1995 said:

I did file an order of protection and then he told me he was going to have me arrested and so I dropped it.

If you filed this, why didn't his rap sheet show up at that time?

A lot of people google online dates for criminal background checks.

When he told you he's been arrested and on parole, did you ever look into it?

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2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

If you filed this, why didn't his rap sheet show up at that time?

A lot of people google online dates for criminal background checks.

When he told you he's been arrested and on parole, did you ever look into it?

I did look into it but I couldn't find anything but what he had told me.  I'm not even sure how my daughter got into his record but she found everything.

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