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First Date because of Surgery


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I met a cute guy at a bar this past weekend.  We did a bit of texting post-meeting which he clearly showed he was interested in me.  My sister was visiting at the time so I was going back out the Saturday night he texted.  I had surgery booked for a long time 2 days ago (Wednesday). I really wanted to see the guy again because I probably have about 1.5-2weeks of recovery, so I decided to message him to suggest going out (on the night before my surgery).  He fully planned an evening - wanted to go to the gym, then go to his favorite restaurant.

I could only go to the restaurant since I had to work.  I mentioned prior to meeting up that I could not drink because I was having surgery the next day. He texted no problem, that he was not drinking this week anyway.  We are both into healthy lifestyle.

The date went very well. The conversation was easy and we have a lot in common.  After dinner he suggested we walk on the beach and then parted ways.  I tried to hug him good night but it was a bit awkward. He also mentioned on the date he would send me links to all of these interesting things we discussed on the date. He did not send.

So I get home and send hime a short text thanking him for the evening and mention something funny he said during the date.  He answers back “Ha!"

That’s the last I have heard from him. So, Tuesday night date and now crickets.  Any thoughts as to what is going on? I now have about 4 days to stew by myself in my house and don’t want to drive myself nuts.

Thanks in advance!

 

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Unfortunately it sounds like the typical dating thing - you both had a pleasant date, but something didn't quite click for him and that's that. A one and done unfortunately.

Please don't stew because there is nothing to do about these things. We've all done this. You meet someone and think you might be into them, but then you go on a date and realize that you are not that into them after all, even if the date is nice. It's just that lack of "it" factor that you don't control.

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You met in a bar... he seemed really interested.. for a while.

Now.. not so much 😕 .

If he's gone quiet, just leave it up him to get in contact with you.  

IF he is interested, he will contact you.  

 

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Thanks SooSad and Dancing Fool, So I guess if a guy doesn’t contact you (it’s been about 2.5 days) after a first date to forget it.  I believe he is about 40 years old.  Not sure if people still go by the wait 3 days thing. I’m on like 20 different drugs right now, so a bit doped out LOL.

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Give it more time. What's important is that you leave all that at the door and get back on track with your health and heal post-surgery. You both just met so him being all over you or texting you at a time when you're recovering is not exactly appropriate. He may think that you have a lot of friends and family already to answer to and deal with as people may be asking how you're doing and sending you well wishes also. 

If you don't hear from him within a week, lower your expectations drastically. Don't take it personally. You may be a cool gal but the timing is off. If both of you reconnect later, that's fine. Wishing you a speedy recovery!

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10 minutes ago, sadchick83 said:

Thanks SooSad and Dancing Fool, So I guess if a guy doesn’t contact you (it’s been about 2.5 days) after a first date to forget it.  I believe he is about 40 years old.  Not sure if people still go by the wait 3 days thing. I’m on like 20 different drugs right now, so a bit doped out LOL.

Aww, yeah... don't ruin yourself over this.. dude, lol 😕 .

Doesn't matter the age. we've got all kinds 😉 .

Take care of yourself.. get rest, don't worry about it. ❤️ 

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I dunno, he knew you had a surgery, if he was interested he would probably at least ask how it went no matter the "3 day rule". I dont think he was that interested so dont get your hopes up. 

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It just sucks. I’ve moved to place with no young people and was about to move because of the crappy dating situation and of course I meet a date-worthy guy a fews days before this surgery. Anyway, I look like I have been in a car accident, so cannot see anyone for a while. But yes, I agree, need to focus on healing and see what happens.

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15 minutes ago, sadchick83 said:

Thanks SooSad and Dancing Fool, So I guess if a guy doesn’t contact you (it’s been about 2.5 days) after a first date to forget it.  I believe he is about 40 years old.  Not sure if people still go by the wait 3 days thing. I’m on like 20 different drugs right now, so a bit doped out LOL.

You reached out after your date and showed that you are interested. He was not responsive. So I think you've done what you can, but the interest on his end is just not there. It just happens like that.

Forget about him and please get better and focus on that. Hugs and well wishes.

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Any guy would try to nail down another date, or at least keep engaged in conversation, or reach out. It was awkward at the end of the date and this....all arrows are pointing to him not being interested...he's doing the fade. Forget about him and go forward.

dating is like this...you win some maybe, but you do lose some for sure.

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53 minutes ago, sadchick83 said:

it’s been about 2.5 days after a first date.

Be patient. If he contacts you, great, if not, oh well. There may have been a bit of TMI with the surgery thing and he's laying back from all that.

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2 hours ago, sadchick83 said:

So I get home and send hime a short text thanking him for the evening and mention something funny he said during the date.  He answers back “Ha!"

Was there any other kind of communication from him after the date than "Ha!"? If that really is the only thing he ever sent after the date, after you contacted him first and thanked him, I'm sorry but I'd say he's not interested.

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2 hours ago, sadchick83 said:

Thanks SooSad and Dancing Fool, So I guess if a guy doesn’t contact you (it’s been about 2.5 days) after a first date to forget it.  I believe he is about 40 years old.  Not sure if people still go by the wait 3 days thing. I’m on like 20 different drugs right now, so a bit doped out LOL.

Forget about it as soon as the date is over unless you have a time and place plan for another date.  There is no other date unless he calls or you call and ask him out in the future and you decide at that time if you would like to see him again. That way you can move on.  Why wait if you’ve had one date and there’s no plan for another. That means no date.  Unless things change in the future.  Decide when and if that happens.  This mindset helped me so much when I was dating. 

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There really is nothing for you to do except recover from surgery right now.  I hope it wasn't anything serious and it all went well btw.

  Getting into the mind of the person you just met when they fade is impossible.  I am sure you have had guys you weren't interested in after a couple of meets but couldn't put your finger on why.  Sometimes it just doesn't feel right.

  At least he didn't try and get in your pants and then ghost you.

  If you look at the positive side:  You attracted a guy you are interested in so if there is one there are more in the area right?

   Lost

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I think maybe what happened was that because you met at a bar, you didn't know each other at all. He wanted to have a date to get to know you more. But on the date he realised he wasn't really feeling a spark. I think that's pretty normal. Especially when you meet at a bar and you actually know nothing about each other yet.

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3 hours ago, limichelle said:

Aww I’m sorry 😞 It doesn’t sound as if he’s interested. Focus on you’re healing and don’t give up. The right guy will be letting you know he’s interested. 

This^^^^ 

it does suck. but save yourself the trouble.  someone better is out there. 

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