How do I move on from this girl that I really like?

[LaHermes]

53 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

And did you offer to reschedule a plan to see her?

Should I have?

Of course you should have.  What do you think!! 

Getting back to the matter in hand it would be very advisable to spend some time on working on your self-confidence. 

You are very young OP.  There is a great wide world out there.  Get out into it.  And my advice: once you have graduated go abroad (without the other three!), take a year, enjoy yourself.

[boltnrun]

Yeah, don't move in with any of the three dudes who don't want to do anything social except lurk at the mall or go buy Pokemon cards.

Enjoy all college has to offer, including the opportunity to meet lots of girls!

[LaHermes]

Quite so, Bolt!

And since OP did mention getting an apartment upon leaving his parents' home, I would beg him, here and now, beg him sincerely not to share it with the said three. 

[That36guy]

30 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

Quite so, Bolt!

And since OP did mention getting an apartment upon leaving his parents' home, I would beg him, here and now, beg him sincerely not to share it with the said three. 

Why is this suddenly turning into a hate circle-jerk against my friends?

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, That36guy said:

Why is this suddenly turning into a hate circle-jerk against my friends?

Are you again trying to go off on tangents to avoid facing truths ?  I don’t think your friends are hateful or bad people.  They’re just going to impede your stated goal of finding a romantic relationship.  Doesn’t make them hateful.  Just incompatible.  

[LaHermes]

Don't be so dramatic OP. Lol. We have nothing against your friends.  It seems you only hear what you want to hear. What we're saying is that a bit of independence would do you a world of good. 

 

[That36guy]

2 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Are you again trying to go off on tangents to avoid facing truths ?  I don’t think your friends are hateful or bad people.  They’re just going to impede your stated goal of finding a romantic relationship.  Doesn’t make them hateful.  Just incompatible.  

But my friends are also looking for dates. We’re united in the same goal.

[LaHermes]

5 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Are you again trying to go off on tangents to avoid facing truths ?

Precisely. 

 

2 hours ago, LaHermes said:

You are very young OP.  There is a great wide world out there.  Get out into it.  And my advice: once you have graduated go abroad (without the other three!), take a year, enjoy yourself.

How does this suggestion sound to you?

"United in the same goal".

So there isn't a chance of a date unless you 4 operate as a platoon.

[boltnrun]

6 minutes ago, That36guy said:

But my friends are also looking for dates. We’re united in the same goal.

Well, how has that worked for you so far?

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, That36guy said:

But my friends are also looking for dates. We’re united in the same goal.

The four musketeers? Seriously, good idea to move in some sort of house share off/on campus. It's the first step to socializing with college girls. Then join groups clubs sports. Coed is better . Take some classes that attract more girls than boys.

[Batya33]

19 minutes ago, That36guy said:

But my friends are also looking for dates. We’re united in the same goal.

No. They’re looking to get laid.  Not the same thing. 

[LaHermes]

On 5/29/2021 at 3:36 PM, LaHermes said:

"I'm gonna level with you and admit that I'm kind of in a rush to lose my virginity. Me and my three close friends are all still virgins and all four of us are sick of it. I'm just trying to make sure that I'm the first one to finally have sex, or at least avoid being the last one to do so."

OP. That kind of desperate vibe with that particular goal in mind and only that goal does not bode well for approaching and dating women. 

Also, what would happen if by some chance you were the last one to "finally" have sex.  Competing with the other three desperados?

[Capricorn3]

3 hours ago, LaHermes said:

OP. That kind of desperate vibe with that particular goal in mind and only that goal does not bode well for approaching and dating women.

Agreed 100%.  Just reading it makes me feel sick.  It's like treating women as objects. Something just for your own pleasure and then toss away when you're done and onto the next one. That's the kind of vibe one gets.  Just UGH.

[That36guy]

9 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

Agreed 100%.  Just reading it makes me feel sick.  It's like treating women as objects. Something just for your own pleasure and then toss away when you're done and onto the next one. That's the kind of vibe one gets.  Just UGH.

When did I say anything about sleeping with a girl and tossing her aside?

Yes, I want to lose my virginity, but that doesn’t automatically mean that I’m going to cast aside the first girl I sleep with. It’s normal to want to lose your virginity, you know.

[Capricorn3]

1 minute ago, That36guy said:

When did I say anything about sleeping with a girl and tossing her aside?

I didn't say that you said anything about tossing them aside.  I said it's just the kinda vibe I get when reading comments about a bunch of guys desperate to get laid  (or if you like the term better, lose your virginity)- that women are mere objects and not treated as human beings. It's just the way it was stated.  Anyhoo, just sayin'.

[That36guy]

1 minute ago, Capricorn3 said:

I didn't say that you said anything about tossing them aside.  I said it's just the kinda vibe I get when reading comments about a bunch of guys desperate to get laid  (or if you like the term better, lose your virginity)- that women are mere objects and not treated as human beings. It's just the way it was stated.  Anyhoo, just sayin'.

I don’t know my friends true motives. I would hope that their motives are more pure than just wanting sex, but as long as everyone is of age and it’s all consensual, then it’s not really my place to get involved.

[Capricorn3]

8 minutes ago, That36guy said:

 I would hope that their motives are more pure than just wanting sex,

Yep, that's all we can hope for.

[Batya33]

9 minutes ago, That36guy said:

I don’t know my friends true motives. I would hope that their motives are more pure than just wanting sex, but as long as everyone is of age and it’s all consensual, then it’s not really my place to get involved.

Two adults can just want sex and it can be consensual and a one night thing.  But your friends don’t sound like the type of adults who have plans in place should their sexual interaction result in a pregnancy.  Since you say you would want the interaction to not bd limited to sex then I assume you know what type of birth control you would use and what you would do if it failed. I have an acquaintance who I dated many years ago.  Before me he dated a woman for a few months. Both in their 40s.  They used protection.  Their daughter graduated high school last week.  They co-parent. 

[Tinydance]

8 hours ago, That36guy said:

No...should I have?

Yes if you're interested in a woman, you should always follow up by asking her out another time. Otherwise she'll think you rejected her.

[Tinydance]

This discussion reminds me a bit of those American Pie movies lol I'm not sure if you've seen them OP? They were really popular when I was a teenager and I kind of grew up with them. The first American Pie movie is literally all about how these four guys are trying really hard to lose their virginity by prom night.

[That36guy]

2 hours ago, Tinydance said:

Yes if you're interested in a woman, you should always follow up by asking her out another time. Otherwise she'll think you rejected her.

Damn it...I don't want her thinking that I actually rejected her back then. It's just that me and my three friends all had plans with the Fortnite New Years event and I couldn't bail on them.

[LaHermes]

18 hours ago, LaHermes said:

I'm just trying to make sure that I'm the first one to finally have sex, or at least avoid being the last one to do so."

So, there is some sort of competition going on, as in gaming. You four putting on bets or something? Bets where the last man in has to pay up to the other three?

And you know full well that their and your motive is to win the race (to have sex).

"Me and my three close friends are all still virgins and all four of us are sick of it."

All that aside there is the practical aspect. You live with your parents. So, let's assume you finally gather up the courage to date a girl, and bingo she wants to jump your bones that very first night. So, what's the plan. Take a hotel room, a "blanket on the ground" under the stars, or...?

 

[That36guy]

1 hour ago, LaHermes said:

So, there is some sort of competition going on, as in gaming. You four putting on bets or something? Bets where the last man in has to pay up to the other three?

And you know full well that their and your motive is to win the race (to have sex).

"Me and my three close friends are all still virgins and all four of us are sick of it."

All that aside there is the practical aspect. You live with your parents. So, let's assume you finally gather up the courage to date a girl, and bingo she wants to jump your bones that very first night. So, what's the plan. Take a hotel room, a "blanket on the ground" under the stars, or...?

 

There's no real competition or anything like this. We just get the satisfaction and happiness of knowing that we finally have a girlfriend.

And in the chance that I end up with a girl while still living with my parents, they're away from home often. They work full time and they spend a lot of their free time going out with friends and stuff like that. 

[LaHermes]

1 hour ago, LaHermes said:

I'm just trying to make sure that I'm the first one to finally have sex, or at least avoid being the last one to do so."

The above is what you said, OP.  You are, in your own words, sick of being virgins. 

This is not what you said:

14 minutes ago, That36guy said:

We just get the satisfaction and happiness of knowing that we finally have a girlfriend.

Getting back to when you eventually move to an apartment, do you intend to take this apartment with the other three troops?  

You have got good advice here to get out there on your own, meet other people, aside from girls. And I'd advise you once you graduate that you take a year out and go abroad, on your own. Broaden your mind. 

 

[Batya33]

13 hours ago, That36guy said:

Damn it...I don't want her thinking that I actually rejected her back then. It's just that me and my three friends all had plans with the Fortnite New Years event and I couldn't bail on them.

You didn't reject her as a person.  She didn't reject you as a person.  You showed you weren't interested in spending time with her by telling her no then not suggesting an alternative.