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My boyfriend visits only fans atleast once a day. Should I say something?


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So my boyfriend let me borrow his tablet for work and I had to look for a page i had closed on chrome when I noticed he had his history from his phone also showing in it. At first glance its normal searches but I saw hes been watching p*rn which I dont mind since I do too but hes been on only fans looking at specific women, i dont know if its paid for but it slightly bothers me. We already have a strain in our relationship because he was sleeping with his ex girlfriend during our dating phase and I had found out he slept with her the day before I went on vacation with him and his family (he actually asked me to be his girlfriend like 2 days later during this trip and was completely fine with sleeping with me the day after this happened with her). He had even asked her for nudes like 2 weeks after this so the trust is slightly broken to say the least. Onlyfans just brings up all this to me again. We are almost a year together now and he hasnt contacted her(she was the one who told me and showed me all their messages). Ive also gotten mad at the fact he follows alot of insta models or had saved pictures on his phone that show off alot of lingerie or just barely covered up. He explained they are mostly his stash

Should I just let the only fans thing go? Am I just letting old stuff get to me?

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Posted (edited)

You've known how he is from the beginning. He is not going to "change". So it's up to you if you want a boyfriend who behaves this way. Or not.

And no, you should not have to pretend you're ok with something if you're not.

Edited by boltnrun
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7 minutes ago, Anyd189 said:

he was sleeping with his ex girlfriend during our dating phase and I had found out he slept with her the day before I went on vacation with him and his family He had even asked her for nudes like 2 weeks after this so the trust is slightly broken to say the least.

On some level, you must know it's time to end it, no? It's been nothing but lies, cheating, headaches and heartaches. that's not what relationships are about.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Anyd189 said:

We already have a strain in our relationship because he was sleeping with his ex girlfriend during our dating phase and I had found out he slept with her the day before I went on vacation with him and his family (he actually asked me to be his girlfriend like 2 days later during this trip and was completely fine with sleeping with me the day after this happened with her). He had even asked her for nudes like 2 weeks after this so the trust is slightly broken to say the least

A strain for sure 😕 .

He was still involved with her, while dating you..(transition/ trying to wean off her..?)

With her ONE day before he asked you- to go on vacay.. pfftt 😕 

AND asked HER for nudes, after he asked YOU to be his GF?   wt heck.. seriously?

With ALL that's gone on with him.. he sounds really... weird!

You are not too pleased at all, are you?

Get rid of him & I bet he'd just jump right back with her.. or at least try some more.. and add more pics to his.. stash.

he doesn't seem to have it together OR value that he's got.

 

 

Edited by SooSad33
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1 hour ago, Anyd189 said:

We already have a strain in our relationship because he was sleeping with his ex girlfriend during our dating phase and I had found out he slept with her the day before I went on vacation with him and his family (he actually asked me to be his girlfriend like 2 days later during this trip and was completely fine with sleeping with me the day after this happened with her).

So, you're now the girlfriend of a low life who cheated on you followed by being "completely fine" with sleeping with you the next day.  What a deal!

Where is your self-respect???

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A little alarming tbh. 

 

 

Him using P*rnhub would be different because then he's looking at actual entertainers (women that he will never meet or touch because she's doing it for entertainment only and she's being backed by a large production and legally has limits to how she can interact with those who watch her content)

 

With Onlyfans is different. He's interacting with a woman that most likely has a normal job outside of onlyfans and she's probably normal making her way more approachable and an eligible person he could have some kind of emotional-sexual affair with.

 

With any other porn site he would do surface level browsing until he finds something he likes. With Onlyfans he's literally saying "I find this SPECIFIC woman attractive and I'm okay with going out of my way to have access to her exclusive content" 

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Here's where you hit pause, stop wondering about your boyfriend and his material and explore inwards/reflect.

Reconnect back with what you believe a relationship should be and then attempt to connect the dots with this relationship. If that fails, he goes.

Don't waste your time in situations that are no good for you or that don't align with what your beliefs or values are.

At this point you may also find yourself not bothering to explain too much about why this relationship isn't working for you. A person like this doesn't change no matter how much you want to spend time explaining how inappropriate that behaviour is. Break it off civilly and move on with your life.

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Everyone has already said it but you need to really think about this relationship and the hope is that you’d want out after thinking about it. He sounds incredibly disrespectful to be doing all of this when he’s with you. Like others have also said, porn is one thing but OnlyFans and Instagram and actually cheating are very different and shouldn’t be lumped together. 

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Posted (edited)

Ahhhh damn. Spam! waste of my time!

Anyway OP either you have a conversation to him and work through it, or you figure out that this is not good and should find your way out the door.

Edited by smackie9
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1 hour ago, gamon said:

Did you report your own post? Because we still have to see the spam since it's quoted in yours.

 

The mods usually delete the reference to the spam. Probably just an oversight.

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