Do I have a right to be cut!!

[Nickie012]

I’ve been married for 2 months now. Been living in our own home for 4 weeks. Our sex life has never been better. My husband came down with the flu last week and had a serious case of the man flu. He didn’t want to come close to me as he didn’t want to get me sick. In this time I was craving his attention and was horny but he refused to do anything so he didn’t get me sick. A week later I noticed that he was getting better. I had a shower and put some lingerie on and my clothes on top and sat on the couch tossing up whether to make a move before or after he goes for his shower. I decided to wait. After his shower I made a move and one thing lead to another and we started having sex. Everything was fine and then he pulled out. He said he was ready to cum and I said it’s okay cum inside. He continued and it just wouldn’t happen. He started to slacken off and I felt something was up. So I moved away and he went into explain he had a wank in the shower as he was hurting from not doing anything for a week and it needed to be done. He completely ruined the mood and it really upset me that I had been craving him all week and he did what he needed to do to get himself off. Am I wrong for being cut and hurt about it and that he didn’t think to ask me to satisfy his needs. 

[SooSad33]

20 minutes ago, Nickie012 said:

He started to slacken off and I felt something was up. So I moved away and he went into explain he had a wank in the shower as he was hurting from not doing anything for a week and it needed to be done. He completely ruined the mood and it really upset me that I had been craving him all week and he did what he needed to do to get himself off. Am I wrong for being cut and hurt about it and that he didn’t think to ask me to satisfy his needs. 

IMO, you did not discuss with him, your 'idea', to approach him before his shower, correct?  So, he didn't know about it, and took care of himself.

Could you guys not 'catch up' a little later in the day? (You could have satisfied his needs then).

Did you ever take care of yourself during his week of being sick?

 

[Nickie012]

I believe that I shouldn’t have to advise him that when he got out of the shower I wanted to have sex. I wanted to seduce him. As a married man he shouldn’t be taking care of his own needs when he knows his wife clearly will do that for him as I’ve expressed so many times before. 
 

catch up later in the day? We live together. I was sitting on the couch while he was in the shower. That doesn’t sit well with me. How was I meant to know not to make a move because he already did what he needed to do. 
 

no I didn’t. He was home the whole week. It didn’t sit well with me knowing he’s sick in bed and I am taking care of myself in the next room 

[SooSad33]

I am guessing you two are kinda young... You know you are allowed to tend to yourself anytime as well.

 

4 minutes ago, Nickie012 said:

catch up later in the day? We live together. I was sitting on the couch while he was in the shower. That doesn’t sit well with me. How was I meant to know not to make a move because he already did what he needed to do. 
 

Okay, but the same goes as well for him.  How was he to know what you had planned- for when he was done this shower?

What you assumed, and what occurred didn't go as planned, for you.

6 minutes ago, Nickie012 said:

I believe that I shouldn’t have to advise him that when he got out of the shower I wanted to have sex.

Ok, then this is what happened, He was also pent up & relieved that.. Is not a huge deal, if you know you can do it again in hour or so.

As for being 'a married man', yup, many are and still do this on their own.. when/ if they want. (as long as it does not affect their partner constantly, it's okay & normal).

 

I will assume you are not used to not going this long w/out.  But, it happens.  Maybe, just let this one go.. and look forward to the next time (like I said, can happen again very soon).

 

[melancholy123]

This sounds like a lack of communication on both parts.  Stop fretting about this, it's not the end of the world!  You have plenty of time to have sex when he's over his flu.

[boltnrun]

He can't read your mind.  No, "if he really loved me!!!" does not give him mind reading powers no matter what you may have heard.  So he didn't know you planned to "seduce" him.

Next time, maybe let him know when he gets out of the shower you will have a nice surprise for him.  It's OK to let him know so he won't have to resort to mind reading.

[lostandhurt]

This is one time right?  Not all the time?

Tell him this  "Okay but when you get home from work you better be ready to take care of business"

Instead of getting mad make it into something fun.  

Now if he was leaving for a month long trip and you wouldn't see each other for a while I could see you getting mad.

  I am sure if he knew you were good to go he would much rather had sex with you than jerk off in the shower.

It isn't your fault or his fault, it just happened.  Sounds like you need a few rounds in the bedroom tonight to make up for it.

Lost

[MissCanuck]

7 hours ago, Nickie012 said:

As a married man he shouldn’t be taking care of his own needs when he knows his wife clearly will do that for him as I’ve expressed so many times before.

So, this is really what you are upset about. 

Do you feel he should not masturbate at all? This sounds like a source of ongoing conflict between you two. What is the back story here?

[Wiseman2]

Is this an arranged marriage? He doesn't seem attracted to you, especially when you throw yourself at him.

On some level you know that. And this is what you're worried about. The attraction. 

Pull back. It seems you're in his face too much, crowd him too much and seem a bit like a nag and a bit controlling.

Step back. Make sure you are busy outside the house more. 

[Kibo]

In the book "men are from mars, women are from venus", the relationship of a man and a woman is described beautifully, especially the part with giving a man time for himself.

I had a very... "obsessed" girlfriend and she hardly gave me time for myself. We had sex almost every day, sometimes more often. I enjoyed it. But sometimes I just wanted to do it to me myself and it would upset her. Don´t get me wrong, even if I had masturbated on the same day, we would have sex, but I did it just to "calm" her.

Now, as I am single, I really enjoy it that I can masturbate whenever I want and noone interferes. I think in a good relationship, the partner should be allowed to have time for himself.

Besides, as Wiseman mentioned, the problem seems to be that you are not giving your man enough distance, so he cannot feel attracted towards you. Check out the book if you want to know more.