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2 hours ago, smilieman said:

 not reliant on her.

Unfortunately this will be the difficult part.

Now that the divorce is going forward, becoming independent financially and emotionally is a good focus to have..

 

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On 7/21/2021 at 12:38 PM, DarkCh0c0 said:

I hope you find a lovely new place to call home and start everything from scratch. It'll really help you heal in this new journey.

Thank you.  The place I have found is nice but the town is a bit rundown.  But it's far enough away to give me my own space and cheap enough not to drain resources too quickly.  It a 2 bed house with garage and garden, 2 mins from the beach, for way less than the price you would pay for a one bedroom flat around here.  I am speaking with the agent tomorrow regarding applying.  Keep fingers crossed.....

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39 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

@smilieman sounds very lovely! Cheers to new beginnings.

Thank you.  It's all very stressful though and I'm going to have to get rid of a lot of my furniture and buy new stuff I think, which is more of a drain.  Good thing is, is gets rid of the 'shared' stuff that we got together, bad thing is I need to transport some of it there first.

It saddens me that this relationship has come to such an abrupt ending like this and that she's being awful in the process.  I;m not sure if it makes it harder or easier.

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55 minutes ago, smilieman said:

 I'm going to have to get rid of a lot of my furniture and buy new stuff 

Why would you have to do that?

Did you sort out who gets what yet?

Can you sell stuff on ebay/craigslist?

A lot of people have garage sales or sell stuff before they move.

 

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1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why would you have to do that?

Because it's too big to go into a smaller property with less space & rooms.

 

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did you sort out who gets what yet?

Nope.  She's still not communicating.

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Can you sell stuff on ebay/craigslist?

A lot of people have garage sales or sell stuff before they move.

I gonna have to do that.  Then garage sale /house clearance for the rest - I have 3 weeks.

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I sold a lot of my stuff when I moved into a place that has less than half the square footage than my previous home.  I ended up making just under $200, which was not bad!  It paid for two weeks of groceries and gas for my car.  I had two yard sales and also sold some stuff on Craigslist.  I hired someone to haul away what didn't sell.

I would buy only the very basic necessities.  You'll need that money for food and utilities for who knows how long, assuming the divorce will not be final for quite some time. You won't be receiving any money from your ex while it processes (and may not be awarded any spousal support anyway).

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2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I sold a lot of my stuff when I moved into a place that has less than half the square footage than my previous home.  I ended up making just under $200, which was not bad!  It paid for two weeks of groceries and gas for my car.  I had two yard sales and also sold some stuff on Craigslist.  I hired someone to haul away what didn't sell.

I would buy only the very basic necessities.  You'll need that money for food and utilities for who knows how long, assuming the divorce will not be final for quite some time. You won't be receiving any money from your ex while it processes (and may not be awarded any spousal support anyway).

Sounds like a good plan.  I've also just been speaking to a friend also to help put things into perspective.  I have 3 weeks to get sorted out, packed and arrange the logistics of moving, with a 2 week buffer if I run over.  Once everything is sorted with the lettings agent of the other house, then I can give notice here for end of August.

I will need a new/used sofa but will wait until I get there and look around.  I saw a large charity/thrift shop in the town that had some really nice stuff.

I did ask a neighbour if he would be interested in helping me move as he done his daughters stuff and can easily drive a larger truck, but thinking about it now, I wonder if I should just hire the removal guys so that I don't have to worry about it - they're insured and pack and protect everything and put things in the proper place at the other end.  Make it much easier and takes out the stress.

As you say, depending on what the court decides, I need to keep expenditure as tight as I can.

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I hired a man who had his own truck and trailer.  He and his helper came by, loaded up his trailer, drove it to my new apartment, unloaded the trailer and set everything up for me.  All I had to do is pack my stuff into boxes and storage bins.  Easy.  And I did a cost comparison; if I'd hired my own truck, paid the rental fee, the mileage and replaced the gas in the tank AND hired guys to load and unload (can't do it myself and brother said he would not help) it actually would have cost more than just hiring the man with the truck and trailer.  So convenient.  The same guy is actually moving my brother too.  

Also check around and see if any friends have furniture they don't want anymore.  The stuff I got rid of was not junk.  It was all nice stuff.  I just didn't have room for it. Sometimes you can actually be helping someone out by getting something out of their house they no longer have room or use for (empty nesters, bought a new couch, etc.)

And yes, good idea to spend as little as possible.  It's nice to have a bit of a cushion.

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On 7/24/2021 at 9:34 PM, boltnrun said:

I hired a man who had his own truck and trailer.  He and his helper came by, loaded up his trailer, drove it to my new apartment, unloaded the trailer and set everything up for me.  All I had to do is pack my stuff into boxes and storage bins.  Easy.  And I did a cost comparison; if I'd hired my own truck, paid the rental fee, the mileage and replaced the gas in the tank AND hired guys to load and unload (can't do it myself and brother said he would not help) it actually would have cost more than just hiring the man with the truck and trailer.  So convenient.  The same guy is actually moving my brother too.  

Also check around and see if any friends have furniture they don't want anymore.  The stuff I got rid of was not junk.  It was all nice stuff.  I just didn't have room for it. Sometimes you can actually be helping someone out by getting something out of their house they no longer have room or use for (empty nesters, bought a new couch, etc.)

And yes, good idea to spend as little as possible.  It's nice to have a bit of a cushion.

We don't get huge trailers over here, which is a shame.  I do have a few other people to ring that I found.  I shall spend the rest of the week sorting stuff as best I can to get an idea of what needs to be taken and then I can get a few realistic quotes.  Haven't heard back from my neighbour, but I don;t reckon that will be a goer.  The quote that I had also included a packing service, so I wouldn't need to do anything - although I would.

The sofa has to go as it's too big for the room it has to go in, but I don't want to sell it yet, in case the house rental falls through on referencing or if the landlords change their minds.

I re-potted a couple of my plants today that I grew from cuttings.  They're coming with me! 🙂

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