Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I have been living in a different country to my home country for the past 3 years with my boyfriend. Was only meant to be for short amount of time with his job, ended up going permanent and we stayed. I have always been homesick and wanted to move back and he doesn’t. We have a toddler  and I am currently 6 months pregnant. Our relationship is not good, can’t agree on anything, he is not very supportive. I had postnatal depression with my first, and scared I will get it again with this baby. I want to move back and have baby in home country where I have more support as have none here, but he feels I am taking our kids away from him and making him miss out on the birth. I need some advice!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Dani1234 said:

We have a toddler  and I am currently 6 months pregnant.  I want to move back and have baby in home country where I have more support as have none here

Ok arrange that with your family. Take the other child with you. You're not married so stay with your family for an extended visit and reflect on what to do from there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Think carefully before you make any moves. If you leave don't keep going and coming and going and coming. That's confusing for the children and you yourself will be more confused with the situation as time goes by. Think this through on whether the relationship is over and you are completely finished. Get some legal advice as to leaving if you want to leave and in taking the children with you. I don't recommend just leaving on a whim or for short term. 

He has a right to see his children so whether you face it now or later (the sooner the better) you should start arming yourself with whatever legal obligations you both have as parents. Find out everything you need to know. Your kids deserve to have a father.

Edited by Rose Mosse
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Where was the first child born, and can you legally take this child across country lines?

I'd consult a family attorney. If you can legally move with the first child, I'd consider birthing the second child in your home country or you might otherwise be legally bound to keep the child in the country where you don't want to be.

The father is capable of making up his own mind as to where he wants to live. You need legal advice about your children.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You can't take your babies away from their father, that wouldn't be fair to them. Sorry you have issues but this should be about your children. Justifying to ditch your BF because "things are not good" is not a good enough reason. You are being hasty, your depression is doing the talking. Calm down. You and your BF shouldn't have to make a sacrifice, but you can make a compromise. You need emotional help? then invite a family member to come visit instead. Lots of people have mom come and help with baby. When your baby is a year old and manageable for travel, just go visit family from time to time. Calm down those nerves with therapy, and believe it will get better.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 hours ago, Dani1234 said:

I have always been homesick and wanted to move back and he doesn’t.

I fully endorse Smackie's post, all of it. Homesickness is no excuse. 

 

21 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

You are being hasty, your depression is doing the talking. Calm down

A very good idea to invite someone from your family to travel over to you.  Besides, after three years surely you have made some friends where you are living now?

Besides when your BF's job became permanent you could have decided then to either stay or go back to your country.

You say in your first post that you need advice.

So I would simply repeat what Smackie has said.  

22 hours ago, Dani1234 said:

and making him miss out on the birth.

He sounds supportive enough.  On what aspects do you not agree?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree he sounds supportive enough if he doesn't want to miss the birth of his child. I think your thought process is getting the best of you...you are only seeing what you are seeing because of your depression. You are not thinking straight.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • Why You Should NEVER Chase Your Ex
      You should NEVER chase your ex, no matter what... even if you want to get back together. In this video, I’ll explain what exactly I mean by that… and why it’s so important if you want your ex back. Here's the simple truth: if you DO want to give yourself the best possible chance of starting over with your ex, you simply CANNOT let yourself start chasing them… it just doesn’t work, even though it’s the natural human reaction to a breakup and often feels like the right way to get them back. Even if you DON'T want your ex back, you still shouldn't let yourself chase after them. Watch the full video to find out why...

       
      • 0 replies
    • How Do You Know She’s The One? 5 Signs She’s The One & 1 Red Flag! 🚩
      How Do You Know She’s The One? 5 Signs She’s The One & 1 Red Flag! 🚩... In this dating advice video, I will explain to you how to know she’s the one and give you five signs she’s the one as well as give you one red flag that you need to look out for. You may want to know whether she’s the one on first dates, online dating, or somewhere in the dating process. Take heed to these dating tips and be sure to watch the entire video.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Odd Signs You're Seeking Approval from Others Outside of Yourself
      In this YouTube Video, Lisa A Romano discusses 5 signs that indicate you're still seeking approval from others outside of you. If you are codependent, and you struggle with self-love, you may not realize the signs you're seeking approval from others. Childhood trauma and emotional neglect lead to a sense of feeling unseen. If you feel unseen, you may seek approval in odd ways. It may not be obvious when you are looking for validation from others. In this video, Lisa A Romano breaks down these 5 signs, and what they mean; hypervigilance, neediness, low self-worth, never feeling fulfilled and what it means when you become a perpetual seeker.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 3 Simple Strategies To Ditch The Imposter Syndrome
      Have you ever felt like you're a fraud who doesn't belong? According to a recent article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, seven in every ten people have or will experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. We couldn't see our tribe suffering from this anymore, so we brought in the person who'll help you ditch this feeling for good. In this video, peak performance expert Shadé Zahrai joins Vishen to discuss how to supercharge your life and improve your self-esteem by constructing your own reality, leveraging your self-awareness, and regaining control over your inner critic

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Things People Who’ve Been Mentally Abused Do
      Do you know how common mental abuse is? According to The National Center for Biotechnology Information, 80 percent of the population has experienced some form of abusive relationship and behavior. However, despite how frequent it is, emotional abuse is still hard to spot. Unlike physical abuse, mental abuse doesn’t leave any visible scars; instead, it affects someone’s behavior, mindset, and mentality. This means some people deny they’ve been mentally abused, and others may not even recognize the toxic behavior. So, whether you’re reading this to be able to recognize emotional abuse in others or recognize it in yourself, these a few things people who’ve been mentally abused do are sure to help you be more empathetic and kinder.

       
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...