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My crush didn't place her lunch next to mine. Am I overreacting?


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Posted (edited)

Have you ever went on a date either formally or informally with any woman at any time (formally - you asked her out, you went to dinner. Informally -- you went out with a friend and his girlfriend and they brought along her sister or friend to introduce you to to see if there was a spark)

 

Edited by abitbroken
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Posted (edited)

Dude she's not the shy one here YOU ARE! A real man steps up and asks the young lady of his desire out on a date. It shouldn't matter whether you know or not if she likes you too....asking her out is how you find out she does or not. She says yes, you are in! That's the proper confident man's way of doing it. Be brave, and face rejection with grace and tact if it happens. There is no other way around this. If you don't stop with this silliness, some other guy will come along and ask her out, and you will be sitting on the sidelines...ALONE. Life can't be life if you can't take risks.

All you are doing right now, is making this worse. Frittering around with all these silly theories about lunch bag placement. What woman would ever want that in a man? Putting huge letters on your lunch bag probably intimidated her....it looks aggressive. 

What works best is say some nice things to her and ask her out for something simple like ice cream and go for  walk...regardless of the yes or no, they will find it flattering. She talks to you and doesn't scamper away/ avoid you, so it's a go brutha. Slick that hair back and put on yer swagger.....

Edited by smackie9
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38 minutes ago, abitbroken said:

Have you ever went on a date either formally or informally with any woman at any time (formally - you asked her out, you went to dinner. Informally -- you went out with a friend and his girlfriend and they brought along her sister or friend to introduce you to to see if there was a spark)

 

I never dated in school and I’ve never even had a real girlfriend before. I’ve only just started going on dates a few months ago and they’ve all been through dating apps.

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On 5/21/2021 at 12:40 AM, Capricorn3 said:

Agreed.  Never heard anything like this before.  I had no idea putting my lunch next to someone else's lunch is a sign that I am crushing on them.  Man, I really am out of touch with how people date these days, lol.  I'm clueless, lol.

It seems that dating has really changed.   The lunch bag is the key!

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21 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Frittering around with all these silly theories about lunch bag placement.

Indeed. 

 

22 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Be brave, and face rejection with grace and tact if it happens. There is no other way around this. If you don't stop with this silliness, some other guy will come along and ask her out, and you will be sitting on the sidelines...ALONE. Life can't be life if you can't take risks.

Fully agree Smackie. 

 

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, That36guy said:

25.

I couldn't see your posting activity.  You are the Pokemon guy.   

You really need to up your game.  Stop staring and using your lunch as a test, speak to girls or you will be alone for a long time.

Edited by Hollyj
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OP.  You said this in an earlier thread:

 

" I'm gonna level with you and admit that I'm kind of in a rush to lose my virginity. Me and my three close friends are all still virgins and all four of us are sick of it. I'm just trying to make sure that I'm the first one to finally have sex, or at least avoid being the last one to do so."

So, is this some kind of a race, where you are placing bets, and where the last man in (so to speak) has to pay up?

Meantime, how are your three brothers-in-arms who are "sick of it" (sick of being virgins) doing in the asking out girls game?

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28 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

OP.  You said this in an earlier thread:

 

" I'm gonna level with you and admit that I'm kind of in a rush to lose my virginity. Me and my three close friends are all still virgins and all four of us are sick of it. I'm just trying to make sure that I'm the first one to finally have sex, or at least avoid being the last one to do so."

So, is this some kind of a race, where you are placing bets, and where the last man in (so to speak) has to pay up?

Meantime, how are your three brothers-in-arms who are "sick of it" (sick of being virgins) doing in the asking out girls game?

Ugh.  I missed that.  Gee, I would love to be the girl that he told all of his friends that he lost his virginity to.  So high school.   

 

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36 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

OP.  You said this in an earlier thread:

 

" I'm gonna level with you and admit that I'm kind of in a rush to lose my virginity. Me and my three close friends are all still virgins and all four of us are sick of it. I'm just trying to make sure that I'm the first one to finally have sex, or at least avoid being the last one to do so."

So, is this some kind of a race, where you are placing bets, and where the last man in (so to speak) has to pay up?

Meantime, how are your three brothers-in-arms who are "sick of it" (sick of being virgins) doing in the asking out girls game?

For starters, this isn’t a bet involving any type of money. It’s just that last year during a meetup at one of my friend’s house, his sister called us all out for being losers with no girlfriends and that kind of opened up our eyes.

My three friends are also just using dating apps for now. They’ve mostly had no luck, but one of them actually hugged a girl on one of their dates.

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31 minutes ago, That36guy said:

his sister called us all out for being losers with no girlfriends and that kind of opened up our eyes.

You must be kidding, OP. 

One of them actually got to hug a girl!!! Gosh. 

I also ask: did you not have female friends in school? I mean just friends.  It is important to have friends of both sexes, and not just the three other musketeers.

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Posted (edited)

I think that if you had some female friends that things would be much differently for you, as you don't seem comfortable interacting with women.  You see women as more of a conquest, and I think women are picking up on your attitude.   A real turn off. 

I strongly suggest that you make some female friends,  not online, in person.

Edited by Hollyj
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Posted (edited)
13 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

You must be kidding, OP. 

One of them actually got to hug a girl!!! Gosh. 

I also ask: did you not have female friends in school? I mean just friends.  It is important to have friends of both sexes, and not just the three other musketeers.

The  "hug" comment. 😞 

Edited by Hollyj
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18 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

You must be kidding, OP. 

One of them actually got to hug a girl!!! Gosh. 

I also ask: did you not have female friends in school? I mean just friends.  It is important to have friends of both sexes, and not just the three other musketeers.

I did have female friends in school and I got the feeling that some of them liked me, but my problem was that I was afraid of rejection and I never made a move.

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46 minutes ago, That36guy said:

I was afraid of rejection

You absolutely need to get over that obstacle, OP.  Rejection is part of life. In all kinds of scenarios. What awful thing would happen to your mind if you were "rejected".  Resilient people simply pick themselves up, dust themselves off and keep going. 

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2 hours ago, That36guy said:

I did have female friends in school and I got the feeling that some of them liked me, but my problem was that I was afraid of rejection and I never made a move.

That's a part of life.   If you want to remain alone and a virgin for your remaining years, then stay on this track.  

Time to join some in person, co-ed groups.  

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On 5/20/2021 at 12:40 PM, That36guy said:

Now I'm worrying that this is a sign that she doesn't like me. If she liked me, wouldn't she place her lunch next to mine? What does it mean? Am I just overanalyzing or am I right to be worried about my crush not having feelings for me?

If you're serious about this test, I think you're over-analyzing. Lunch placement is random behavior. It's not a good test, certainly not the 100% confirmation you're looking for. As for whether you're overreacting or not, I don't think so. You haven't done anything, have you? 

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On 5/20/2021 at 12:40 PM, That36guy said:

I've very recently decided to pursue a co-worker. I'm pretty sure she likes me just based off of her staring at me a lot and one of her friends at work seeming to hint at her liking me, but I don't want just speculation and rumors. I want 100% confirmation that she likes me before I ask her out, so I've decided to keep a close eye on her behavior at work and look out for hints on how she feels about me.

Earlier today I decided to do my first test. I usually bring a lunch from home and I always place it in our break room fridge and so does my crush. I put my name in big letters on my brown sack lunch and I figured that if she liked me, she would place her lunch right next to mine as a sign that she's into me. I put my lunch in the fridge, waited a few hours to go on my lunch, and then when I took my break, I opened the fridge, but I saw that she had placed her sack lunch on the shelf below mine.

Now I'm worrying that this is a sign that she doesn't like me. If she liked me, wouldn't she place her lunch next to mine? What does it mean? Am I just overanalyzing or am I right to be worried about my crush not having feelings for me?

I have no idea how the position of her lunch bag in relation to yours indicates anything. Lol. At work I would just toss mine in anywhere that fits. For all I know, it consistently was next to Bob’s. I wonder if he thought that meant I was into him 🤔 seems like a weird way to determine who likes you or not. Probably shouldn’t tell her this tidbit if you do end up talking  

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Posted (edited)

To stay in lunch bag world logic which many seem to have surprisingly dismissed so easily here, actually your assumption about her meal storage for noon time is false. A shy or reserved person who is interested would not put their lunch bag next to the person of whom they had interest since, by definition, a shy person does not want to draw attention to themselves. A friend or uninterested coworker would plop it next to yours as if it was nothing more than mundane lunch, but not a shy interested person who would not want to be so obvious. Therefore, the bag on a different shelf indicates potential interest. It's not a 100%, though, especially since you have not indicated the number of shelves she had as options to choose from nor do you seem to have accounted for the fridge door area. Right now, I'm estimating 55% which is considered a high percentage for men who date by gauging interest through conversations. For people who only run silent tests, however, that isn't so good. Sorry about that.

 

Edited by James516
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