Should I just settle on this girl?

[Hollyj]

Just now, That36guy said:

How is it sad? It's what WE like to do in OUR free time. We're not hurting anyone. It's fun for us.

Good luck with finding a girl.  Isn't that your objective?   

You don't seem to want to hear anyone.  

[That36guy]

4 minutes ago, Hollyj said:

Good luck with finding a girl.  Isn't that your objective?   

You don't seem to want to hear anyone.  

Let me just try and understand what you're saying: Are you saying that girls would be turned off by how me and my friends spend our free time? Is it the activity itself? Is it that I'm doing it with a bunch of guys? Help me to understand.

[Hollyj]

24 minutes ago, That36guy said:

Let me just try and understand what you're saying: Are you saying that girls would be turned off by how me and my friends spend our free time? Is it the activity itself? Is it that I'm doing it with a bunch of guys? Help me to understand.

"We do this to get our hands on Pokemon cards right when the store opens and this has been the highlight for all four of us in the past month and a half. But other than that, we just like to game on our PC's."  

Spending the night at Target to get Pokeman cards at 25 is quite immature- I would not share that with others.  Your only other interest is gaming.   I suggest that you explore other activities that get you off an overnight  line and spending your remaining hours in front of a computer screen.  Get out of the house and do more!

[junebug123]

7 minutes ago, Hollyj said:

"We do this to get our hands on Pokemon cards right when the store opens and this has been the highlight for all four of us in the past month and a half. But other than that, we just like to game on our PC's."  

Spending the night at Target to get Pokeman cards at 25 is quite immature.  Your only other interest is gaming.   I suggest that you explore other activities that get you off an overnight  line and spending your remaining hours in front of a computer screen.  Get out of the house and do more!

Yeah, I don’t know why people didn’t mention this earlier but I think your spending too much time worrying about this girl. Just ask her out and see what her response is. Your just speculating too much and that’s a waste of energy.

Like your 25 and you have a job, why not just go to a bar and hit on girls. Sure you’ll get rejected a lot, but you’ll get better at talking to girls and I think that’s your problem. Your like literally scared to talk to girls and actually they aren’t all that bad. Worse case scenario they turn you down and gossip about you and people forget about it in like a week and move on with their life’s.

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, junebug123 said:

Like your 25 and you have a job, why not just go to a bar and hit on girls. Sure you’ll get rejected a lot, but you’ll get better at talking to girls and I think that’s your problem. Your like literally scared to talk to girls

I was going to say this, too. 

Give yourself more opportunities to interact with women face-to-face. We won't seem so unapproachable if you get used to talking to us, even just to chat and sharpen your flirting skills. 

[LaHermes]

7 hours ago, Hollyj said:

Spending the night at Target to get Pokeman cards at 25 is quite immature- I would not share that with others.  Your only other interest is gaming.   I suggest that you explore other activities that get you off an overnight  line and spending your remaining hours in front of a computer screen.  Get out of the house and do more!

Totally agree with you Holly!

 

[Batya33]

7 hours ago, junebug123 said:

Yeah, I don’t know why people didn’t mention this earlier but I think your spending too much time worrying about this girl. Just ask her out and see what her response is. Your just speculating too much and that’s a waste of energy.

Like your 25 and you have a job, why not just go to a bar and hit on girls. Sure you’ll get rejected a lot, but you’ll get better at talking to girls and I think that’s your problem. Your like literally scared to talk to girls and actually they aren’t all that bad. Worse case scenario they turn you down and gossip about you and people forget about it in like a week and move on with their life’s.

I would find a place where people are sober and doing a fun/interesting/engaging activity that doesn't involve alcohol as a focus if he wants to practice talking to women in a meaningful way.

[Batya33]

7 hours ago, Hollyj said:

"We do this to get our hands on Pokemon cards right when the store opens and this has been the highlight for all four of us in the past month and a half. But other than that, we just like to game on our PC's."  

Spending the night at Target to get Pokeman cards at 25 is quite immature- I would not share that with others.  Your only other interest is gaming.   I suggest that you explore other activities that get you off an overnight  line and spending your remaining hours in front of a computer screen.  Get out of the house and do more!

I think it's fine or similar as an annual thing, not a regular thing - like my husband -at least,pre-covid -he and his high school friends had an annual tradition to go to a water park - over the years it was almost all guys -the last time they were able to get together and go they were all in their mid 40s.  I think it's a matter of how often/what else the person does for fun, and the purpose of going.

[Wiseman2]

When available, can you attend some events or join some groups, clubs, etc. that involve your interests?

Maybe there's a female gaming/Pokémon fan out there for you, but you have to start talking to women.

[Andrina]

On 5/16/2021 at 9:44 PM, That36guy said:

Ok, I'm gonna level with you and admit that I'm kind of in a rush to lose my virginity. Me and my three close friends are all still virgins and all four of us are sick of it. I'm just trying to make sure that I'm the first one to finally have sex, or at least avoid being the last one to do so.

I can see what the problem is in attracting women. Even if you're twenty-five, your immature mind-set shines through in your demeanor/aura/essence. Even if you don't say these things to a woman--that you're sick of being a virgin and are in a race to bed someone--that even though you've heard negative things about her, she's better than nothing, most women can intuit these things, getting bad vibes.

You've got some work to do on your own quality as a person. If a women knew you were thinking you were settling, would she really want to be with you? That's a really crappy thing to do to a person, and you think you're a good person? You're not at the moment and that's why no woman will give you the time of day.

How about just like enjoying someone's company, like you do with your guy friends, that you have the goal of enjoying a woman's company. Learning about her. Finding out what's interesting about her. And then having the goal of building something beautiful with her, if you two match? Think about how your worthiness as a partner and how you would come across would totally change with those better thoughts inside your mind?

You need to be a worthy partner to attract a worthy partner, so work on yourself. What do you have going on in your life to warrant a decent person? Good career? Fun hobbies to share with her? Good ethics? And cold hits on women you run into have a bigger chance at failure, so yeah, co-ed sports teams, volunteering like for environmental cleanups, or going to Meetup. com events are the way to go. Good luck.

[LaHermes]

12 minutes ago, Andrina said:

Even if you're twenty-five, your immature mind-set shines through in your demeanor/aura/essence. Even if you don't say these things to a woman--that you're sick of being a virgin and are in a race to bed someone--that even though you've heard negative things about her, she's better than nothing, most women can intuit these things, getting bad vibes.

You've got some work to do on your own quality as a person.

Well said Andrina. And I endorse your entire post. 

[Hollyj]

3 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I think it's fine or similar as an annual thing, not a regular thing - like my husband -at least,pre-covid -he and his high school friends had an annual tradition to go to a water park - over the years it was almost all guys -the last time they were able to get together and go they were all in their mid 40s.  I think it's a matter of how often/what else the person does for fun, and the purpose of going.

Girl, the waterpark-Is for all ages- is not the same as hanging out overnight for Pokemon cards.  

[That36guy]

Ok, I guess I have something of an update to this post:

When this co-worker warned me about this girl that I was thinking of asking out, she had mentioned her driving a truck that was completely covered in all sorts of Pro-Trump and Blue Lives Matter stickers. Today I decided to see just how true that was. When the woman came in for her coffee, I decided to go on my break and go outside to the parking lot. She had parked her truck near her usual spot and for the first time, I got an up close look at it. I saw that she only had two rear window stickers and neither of them had to do with politics or any type of social movement.

My co-worker made it sound like this woman was driving Cesar Sayoc Jr's van, but that's not the case. I feel like I just caught this co-worker in a lie and I don't know what to make of it.

[Wiseman2]

36 minutes ago, That36guy said:

I feel like I just caught this co-worker in a lie and I don't know what to make of it.

Well yes, it was all catty gossip. However the best thing to do is find someone who enjoys what you enjoy.

Can you join some groups that reflect that, Pokémon, games, whatever? There may be a shy nerdette, waiting for you, but you won't find them randomly in malls or parking lots.

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, That36guy said:

Ok, I guess I have something of an update to this post:

When this co-worker warned me about this girl that I was thinking of asking out, she had mentioned her driving a truck that was completely covered in all sorts of Pro-Trump and Blue Lives Matter stickers. Today I decided to see just how true that was. When the woman came in for her coffee, I decided to go on my break and go outside to the parking lot. She had parked her truck near her usual spot and for the first time, I got an up close look at it. I saw that she only had two rear window stickers and neither of them had to do with politics or any type of social movement.

My co-worker made it sound like this woman was driving Cesar Sayoc Jr's van, but that's not the case. I feel like I just caught this co-worker in a lie and I don't know what to make of it.

Maybe when your co-worker saw the truck it was or maybe the co-worker made a mistake.  I think you're getting way ahead of yourself because you don't know if she has any interest in going on a date with you.  I would forget about whether your co-worker lied -it's irrelevant.