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Long Distance Ex Back in town for summer


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So I broke up with my boyfriend because long distance was getting really hard. Here is the entire back story: 

We were always in the same crowd throughout high school but we never ever spoke. One random night we became really close. We started hanging out almost everyday as friends. Eventually things escalated and we started to like one another but we did not know and did not say anything because we were both going away for school. So he left without having establish anything cause we both never wanted to go to college with a boyfriend/girlfriend. Anyways we talk every single day still and FaceTime for hours at a time. Eventually it came out that we liked each in the summer and that we still have strong feelings now.  So we agreed in fall that we did not want to go out and get with other people while away at school. I was totally ok with this because crazy as it sounds, when all you can do is just talk to someone and nothing else gets in the way, it makes it very easy to fall in love with them. So finally after a long fall semester we finally see each other and we are so excited because we both knew that being away made us realize “holy *** I love this person.”

So, winter break we solidified our relationship. We are boyfriend and girlfriend and we love each one another. I finally met his family and he meets mine. My family loves him so we even took him on our winter vacation. That was the best vacation ever and I was having the best winter break of my life. I was the happiest I’ve ever been. My mom and sister were shocked at how happy I was and how good to me he was. Like I said they adored him. Sadly, winter break came to an end and we had to go back to school. We said our goodbyes and I cried for days. After the first week things were good and back to normal. After about a month, I had this experience. Some of the conversations we were having were serious stuff about the future and stuff. I went along with it but I had an experience while I was out having fun one night at school. I realized that maybe I’m missing out. That there’s a chapter in everyone’s life to find “the one” and I’m just not there. I need to grow emotionally. I am not emotionally mature enough for the relationship he wants. So despite still being in love with him I broke up with him because I felt I needed to figure some stuff out. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I can’t take it back now. We texted very few times about being friends and having a conversation when we’re ready. He finally said he’s ready to have a conversation as friends. I responded and agreed but that was it. We haven’t had that conversation. (This was about a month ago)
 

So the point of me writing this is to say that now we are both back in our home town. I believe that since I am the one shoe broke up with him I should initiate bringing up about having that conversation as friends. Should I text him and say we should talk in person? Because I do miss him and I still am in love with him and I want him to know that I didn’t break up with him for anyone else. I have not done anything with anyone since we broke up. It has been the longest 4 months of my life. I was doing ok for a while but now that he is so close to me I am starting to feel bad/upset again. I feel we should have a conversation about where each other stand because I do see this person being my person forever. It sounds crazy but when you know you know. I’ve tried talking to people in my past but nothing is like this boy. He was everything I ever wanted and more and I let him go for a stupid reason that i can’t even figure out myself. So should I text him to talk and if he says yes what should I explain to him because I can’t even explain my reasoning to myself sometimes. (Btw we are in the same friend group) (so we are bound to see one another and I feel it would be less awkward if the first time we see each other is on our own terms aka the conversation)
 

I hope you guys understood that. Please help!!! 

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36 minutes ago, Emilaemorris said:

. I believe that since I am the one shoe broke up with him I should initiate bringing up about having that conversation as friends. Should I text him and say we should talk in person? Because I do miss him and I still am in love with him and I want him to know that I didn’t break up with him for anyone else.

Why do you feel you should do this?

You felt a need to get out there.. explore.  Why bring anything up now? Don't you feel is just best to let things be and you both carry on now.

As for being 'friends'.. with an ex?  Sometimes is for the best to NOT do that.  So they and ourselves can move on better.. easier.

Do you want to hear about his adventures with a new gf? ( vice versa).

39 minutes ago, Emilaemorris said:

It has been the longest 4 months of my life. I was doing ok for a while but now that he is so close to me I am starting to feel bad/upset again. I feel we should have a conversation about where each other stand because I do see this person being my person forever.

No, I don't think you do.. ( I think you just kinda feel alone... but now that he's back...again)...

As YOU said: " Some of the conversations we were having were serious stuff about the future and stuff. I went along with it but I had an experience while I was out having fun one night at school. I realized that maybe I’m missing out. That there’s a chapter in everyone’s life to find “the one” and I’m just not there. I need to grow emotionally. "

 

42 minutes ago, Emilaemorris said:

He was everything I ever wanted and more and I let him go for a stupid reason that i can’t even figure out myself

I don't think it was for stupid reasons... You were wanting to keep moving ahead and venture out there.

 

43 minutes ago, Emilaemorris said:

So should I text him to talk and if he says yes what should I explain to him because I can’t even explain my reasoning to myself sometimes.

Why don't you write it out.. what you actually want to say... mentally prep.

Also make note... YOU pulled away from him.  So he may be kinda hurt/ ticked off with you.  So, you may not get what you are aiming for... It may just be done now.

Also, as I mentioned before..

As for being actual 'friends', may not be that easy, for reasons.

So, be easy with this.. do as you wish.. but I do suggest you take your time & take a good, hard look at all of this, which has occurred with you two.

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ITS ME THE GIRL WHO WROTE THIS. 
I just also would like to add that my semester single was not what I imagined. I hated every second of it. It was gross and after the fact that it’s over I realized that I wasn’t missing out on anything while being in a relationship. 

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9 minutes ago, Emilaemorris said:

not what I imagined. I hated every second of it. It was gross and after the fact that it’s over I realized that I wasn’t missing out on anything while being in a relationship. 

Okay, but like you mentioned.. you didn't feel it was right (as you two spoke about a future).. like you were missing out?

And that you just weren't there.. re: 'finding the one'.

I don't know... I still wonder if it's just because he's local again now?

You really haven't tried much.. to venture out there.. see IF there's something better, to 'feel free' for a while, etc?

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10 hours ago, Emilaemorris said:

  winter break we solidified our relationship.   I broke up with him because I felt I needed to figure some stuff out. 

 I should initiate bringing up about having that conversation as friends. 

Sorry this happened. Unfortunately you are confused and all over the place. 

In love, then fomo, then dumping him, then missing him, then worst of all, after all that... you want to relegate him to the friend zone.

It would be best to make some friends at school and at home. It's not fair to use anyone this way.

He's not your babysitter. You need to be much more independent and make friends and date at school and at home.

Talk to trusted adults, parents etc. about adjusting better to campus life and college.

He knows your contact info, if he wants to reach out he will. However don't expect him to babysit you again for summer break.

Especially after dumping him and sticking him in the friendzone. Learn how to treat people with respect.

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I don't think you two need to have some big talk about this, no. 

You broke up months ago and there is no point rehashing all of this with him. You're not clear in your own mind what you want, and it's not really fair to vent to him about it and try to seek clarity there. 

I would friendly and polite when you bump into him, but don't open a conversation about it if your goal isn't to reconcile. 

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