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Fiance says i don't trust her


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i live in California, my Finance lives in England. we met online and have gotten along super well except for 2 issues which seem minor but she has blown out of proportion. i first gave her my address some time ago then i asked her to give me her address saying i'll like to send a card or valentines day, ok i'll do it tomorrow, then i'll send it soon, then why are you pressuring me? you dont trust me? wow, then the next time i asked my house make and i are moving in two week the house owner is selling. i said you promised to send weeks ago and nothing what gives. Oh i promised? i didnt reallize i promised and it had been so long....got the old address after tht move, really? thanks. then i asked what is your new address? same treatment, then i get you dont trust me i said i would send. she finally sent. then the second seemingly ftrvial issue as it should have been, Can you go to the jewelers and get your ring finger measured? Same treatment, i ask week after week after week, she said first they were under lockdown, then she went to get her eyes measured for new glasses, but didnt go to the jeweler, really. i question this and she said if you dont stop distrusting me you will loose me. over a ring?

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She seems overly dramatic.

Not sure where this 'trust' issue arises?

Are you saying that she is accusing you of not trusting her?

First because you didn't send a card her way? - and because it was a big amt of time?  Then again, because she did not go find a ring... I don't get that... What does trust have to do with going to get a ring?

As for her eyes (glasses), yes, those places are most likely open, as are dr's offices -for single appointments only...

Something like jewelry, maybe only online purchases... or curb side pick ups.

How long have you two been involved?  Have you met each other a few times?

Has she seemed changed at all lately?

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Posted (edited)

I live in England and jewelry shops and all other non essential shops were closed for months this last lockdown. In fact, almost a year in lockdown with just a few weeks open between each lockdown. However, the optometrist is essential and has never closed, so she could have gone and had her glasses done ages ago first and then done the ring when the lockdown ended about 6 weeks ago. Or she could have just bought a ring sizer online for cheap and measured it herself. In fact, I got a free ring sizer from a jeweller sent to me when my husband and I were designing his ring with their company. So, it can be done if one really wants it. She doesn’t sound so motivated for much anything, though, to be honest.

Have you guys met in person? How long have you been together and how long engaged? Have you spent any solid amount of time in each other’s day-to-day lives and seeing how the other lives? 

I really dislike it when people procrastinate, especially over important things and things that directly affect me. I would seriously reconsider moving forward with this marriage until you are really confident in your relationship and actually know each other well. It seems most likely that what you know about her from online interaction is really just facts - she likes x, her favorite colour is x, when she is happy she does x, etc. So, it may seem like you know everything about her in that sense, but to really know someone you need to see how they live and who their friends are/the company they keep, how they resolve conflicts and issues, how they live their life. Basically, how they be human, which you cannot learn simply from asking and answering a bunch of questions.
 

Edited by LotusBlack
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These international relationships are beyond difficult.  I know, as I am in one.  She's coming here permanently next month.  We've had jealousy issues as well (her side) and I don't know how to deal with it.  If it gets to be too much for you, just end it and start over.  People have been skeptical of my relationship as well, but we have a year and a half together now and I plan on marrying her.  As Wiseman asked, have you met in person? That tells you a lot.  Our relationship in person is so much better than at a distance.

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Posted (edited)

I ask the same as Holly?

Have you met in person? And if not why not?

She can hardly be your fiancée if all you have is this online to and fro. And a not very satisfactory to and fro either, from what you say. 

"....she said if you dont stop distrusting me you will loose me. over a ring?"

Tell me OP, what's so great about this person? 

Edited by LaHermes
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Reading between the lines, one can almost get the impression that she's married or in a relationship and living with someone - hence she never wants to give her address etc etc.  Me thinks you've been taken for a ride.

I would forget all about ring sizes, tell her bye-bye, and close this chapter of your life.

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