Options for rebuilding trust other than giving up your passwords

[boltnrun]

All of those things can be easily addressed. 

However, you seem like you want to keep a door open to him. Perhaps you agree with him that you are the problem and he's a wonderful man who would love you dearly if you just gave him everything he wants. 

But as they say, you can try to lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink!

I hope you get to the point where you truly and honestly recognize how bad this man is for you and close that door permanently. 

[DancingFool]

8 minutes ago, teeEFc said:

Changing my number is quite the hassle. Right now I'm waiting on a covid vaccine appointment that will only be sent via a text message for a phone number I submitted over a month ago to the government. I am not interested in messing around with that situation. I was told I would be contacted by the end of May with a specific code etc etc.

However, I doubt he'll contact me again. He's just interested in the bare minimum of work.

If I do need to change my number, then I'll cross that road when I get there. If he does keep trying to get in touch with me - than yes, that's fine, the switch can be done. But, I don't think it's necessary at this point - it requires more than just a quick switch of some things.

I appreciate your consideration. I know you recognize how hearing from him can damage me further. I have really internalized everything folks on here have said. I'm actively keeping away from him where I would have definitely tried to 'say my peace' in an email etc.

 

 

I can appreciate that changing your number can be difficult, so I won't hassle you about that.

However, I would encourage you to dig around a bit with your phone/phone service carrier in that there is usually a way to block someone completely so that you don't actually see if they called at all. It's not just silencing the calls. It might be time worth spent considering how much him contacting you affects you emotionally.

The other thing I wanted to say is that it's high time you actually forgive yourself for your past and whatever you did. Forgive yourself for your sins, so to speak, and give yourself permission to move on with a clean slate. I kind of get the impression that you are so stuck, because you are seeking punishment for your behavior, but that's just you being toxic to yourself. Forgive yourself so you can heal from this and move on at long last.

[catfeeder]

On 5/4/2021 at 8:18 PM, teeEFc said:

the only way he'll really feel like getting back together is if I give him all of my passwords to everything (Bank, credit card, social media, email etc) and that I sell my house.

If your response to this wasn't an immediate, "No, and goodbye..." then you are not in a good place.

Drop this guy, he's the least of your problems if you'd even consider indulging him for another minute.

He's a creep, and any self-respecting person would see that. CLEARLY.

Head high, and respect your Self.