Jump to content

Husband or daughter


Go to solution Solved by Capricorn3,
Message added by kamurj,

This topic has run its course, closed.

Recommended Posts

6 minutes ago, Mommy1995 said:

He also thinks that we can "fix" things with her.  I've tried to talk to her several times and tell her he's sorry but she still doesn't want to be around him.  

Smart girl. She doesn’t want to be abused. PLEASE pick up yourself esteem and get in touch with a women’s shelter and get out . 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 205
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

I have contacted a help line and got some resources.

It wouldn’t even be a matter of her feeling like you chose your abusive a-hole husband, you are choosing and have chosen him. Your daughter is frightened and gone. Your husband is happy he got what he

Well, after going through the entire thread, the answer to your question "husband or daughter (kids)?" is clearly:  Husband. You are choosing the put your toxic, abusive husband over and above the wel

Posted (edited)

My mom put up with abuse for years on and off long before there was help readily available. Her decisions created all my mental health issues with are extensive. Now, I adore my mom and we have a good relationship but I am extremely forgiving. Please don’t damage your daughter and yourself further . 

Edited by Seraphim
Link to post
Share on other sites

Are you looking for excuses to stay with him? 

Have you already decided to choose your abuser and discard your daughter? 

Do not try to convince your daughter to move back in! He will abuse her just as he is abusing you. Do you want that on your conscience? 

Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Are you looking for excuses to stay with him? 

Have you already decided to choose your abuser and discard your daughter? 

Do not try to convince your daughter to move back in! He will abuse her just as he is abusing you. Do you want that on your conscience? 

No, I don't.  I just want to make the right decision.  He says I always overreact when he loses his temper and that I make more out of the situation than there really is.  He's never actually hit me but he has pushed me and grabbed me in front of my daughter.  He also throw things and punches holes in walls.  I'm not trying to make excuses for anything.  I just don't have anybody to talk to about this.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Mommy1995 said:

No, I don't.  I just want to make the right decision.  He says I always overreact when he loses his temper and that I make more out of the situation than there really is.  He's never actually hit me but he has pushed me and grabbed me in front of my daughter.  He also throw things and punches holes in walls.  I'm not trying to make excuses for anything.  I just don't have anybody to talk to about this.

There are hotlines to help you. Absolutely that is abuse. Abuse is not just hitting . Of course he’s telling you not to overreact he doesn’t want to lose his victim. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a memory of my dad abusing my mom that is 50 years old. 50!!  I will never forget it . So his BS she will get over it is ridiculous. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

He says, he says...why do you blindly believe everything he says?

I don't know what there is to figure out. Either choose to continue to be abused and lose your daughter forever or choose to leave this abuser and work on regaining your child's trust.

Please tell your daughter's father to get her into counseling.  She will need help to work through and undo the psychological damage inflicted on her by the abusive man and by your choice to stay with him.

Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

He says, he says...why do you blindly believe everything he says?

I don't know what there is to figure out. Either choose to continue to be abused and lose your daughter forever or choose to leave this abuser and work on regaining your child's trust.

Please tell your daughter's father to get her into counseling.  She will need help to work through and undo the psychological damage inflicted on her by the abusive man and by your choice to stay with him.

I guess I believe him because he is very manipulative and can convince me of anything and he has done a very good job of it.  I'm not saying I believe EVERYTHING he says.  I don't know what to believe anymore.  That's why I'm here asking for help.

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Mommy1995 said:

I guess I believe him because he is very manipulative and can convince me of anything and he has done a very good job of it.  I'm not saying I believe EVERYTHING he says.  I don't know what to believe anymore.  That's why I'm here asking for help.

Do you want your daughter? Simple yes or no answer. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Mommy1995 said:

I guess I believe him because he is very manipulative and can convince me of anything and he has done a very good job of it.  I'm not saying I believe EVERYTHING he says.  I don't know what to believe anymore.  That's why I'm here asking for help.

So if you are fully aware he is manipulative, why do you keep buying his bs? Nothing he says should actually matter to you at this point.

Also, punching walls and throwing things IS physical violence and intentional intimidation. Only a matter of time before it's your face and not the wall getting punched. Not an if but a when.

Stop talking to him or listening to his manipulative bs and walk away. Get help if you can from family and friends and if not, call the abuse hotline and get help and leave him. 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Mommy1995 said:

He also thinks...

He thinks..., He says... He this, he that.

No.

You are abusing your daughter by allowing this creep to terrorize her.

Do not try to lure her back to this brute.  It's unbelievable you are lying for him. Perhaps being arrested for child abuse would help you see the light? 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Mommy1995 said:

He just makes me think.... he won't let me.....

He this, he makes me, he won't let me... blah blah blah. . BS. You are responsible.  The police are not "friends to talk" to. Call them.

People who allow  child abusers to terrorize their own children usually don't have friends. You are not going to get pity.

Edited by Wiseman2
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Mommy1995 said:

I'm not trying to lure her back.  Her dad won't even let her come back.

Do you want your daughter yes or no ? 

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

He this, he makes me, he won't let me... blah blah blah. . BS. You are responsible.  The police are not "friends to talk" to. Call them.

People who allow  child abusers to terrorize their own children usually don't have friends. You are not going to get pity.

I'm not letting him terrorize my child.  He's no where near her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Mommy1995 said:

Her dad won't even let her come back.

At least someone has her best interest at heart.  Hopefully he starts a CPS complaint and has your idiot husband arrested .

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

He this, he makes me, he won't let me... blah blah blah. . BS. You are responsible.  The police are not "friends to talk" to. Call them.

People who allow  child abusers to terrorize their own children usually don't have friends. You are not going to get pity.

I'm not looking for pity either.  I just wanted somebody to tell me that he is wrong because he's got me so brainwashed, I don't know what's right and wrong anymore.

Link to post
Share on other sites
18 minutes ago, Mommy1995 said:

I'm not trying to lure her back.  Her dad won't even let her come back.

Good. She should never come back as long as you choose to stay married to the abuser you seem to love more than her.

He's going to either put you in the hospital or in the morgue. She should not be there when that happens.

Are you going to do the right thing? Or are you choosing the abuser?

Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Good. She should never come back as long as you choose to stay married to the abuser you seem to love more than her.

He's going to either put you in the hospital or in the morgue. She should not be there when that happens.

Are you going to do the right thing? Or are you choosing the abuser?

I'm going to do the right thing.  I guess the main reason I haven't already left is because I can't afford it on my own.  I have 3 other children also.  My other daughter moved out too because of him but she's 19.  My two boys are still at home because I have convinced them that he has changed although I know that's not true. They are 15 and 22. They still don't like him though.

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Mommy1995 said:

I'm going to do the right thing.  I guess the main reason I haven't already left is because I can't afford it on my own.  I have 3 other children also.  My other daughter moved out too because of him but she's 19.  My two boys are still at home because I have convinced them that he has changed although I know that's not true. They are 15 and 22. They still don't like him though.

So two kids have already been driven away. Don’t lose all of them . 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • kamurj locked this topic
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...