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Puppy has been killed by car - i am angry with family


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OMG, I cannot tell you how very sorry I am for the loss of that precious little puppy.  My heart goes out to you, ninjabib.  I realise that everyone makes mistakes, however, this was TOTALLY avoidable

Please look at the responses further into the thread.  

It's one of those situations where someone ****ed up and there's no real fixing or remedying it.  Albeit not as extreme as getting a friend or relative's dog killed, I've been the offender in some pre

It's ok i got tough to it by the age of 10. A puppy can't defend itself though.

A life lost that was so easily preventable if anyone had just given a damn i guess.

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Posted (edited)

Please rewrite this:  "she has been wrapping chains around her fists and punching him in the face with it when on walks if he pulled her as she "felt embarrassed by his behaviour" ***!!"  She put chains on the dog and punched him in the face? 

Edited by Hollyj
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Posted (edited)
33 minutes ago, ninjabib said:

No, they are my sisters kids not mine so they are an extension of my sister to her, she lets them get away with anything.

I would assume the pup was an easy target plus he was male.

While i dont defend my mothers abuse of me or the dog i will say she too suffered a traumatic childhood that no doubt caused her to be this way. I guess she thinks its normal to pass it down but she is very wrong.

I don't give a damn what type of childhood your mother suffered, it gives her no right to abuse a child or animal.  Stop excusing.   Your mother is a monster and I do not understand why you have any communication with these people.  I don't understand what you get out of this relationship, who cares if they are blood.   

Edited by Hollyj
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19 minutes ago, Hollyj said:

Please rewrite this:  "she has been wrapping chains around her fists and punching him in the face with it when on walks if he pulled her as she "felt embarrassed by his behaviour" ***!!"  She put chains on the dog and punched him in the face? 

Yes, that is what my niece told me. I never saw it first hand or had any idea, he didnt show any injuries. She took the dog lead/chain, wrapped it around her fists and punched him in the face with it. The dog wasnt chained up, he was on the public pavement and she was sat on his chest from what i've heard and then a van stopped and some men get out and say somethng like "how would you like it if we did that to you" and she stopped.
 

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3 minutes ago, ninjabib said:

Yes, that is what my niece told me. I never saw it first hand or had any idea, he didnt show any injuries. She took the dog lead/chain, wrapped it around her fists and punched him in the face with it. The dog wasnt chained up, he was on the public pavement and she was sat on his chest from what i've heard and then a van stopped and some men get out and say somethng like "how would you like it if we did that to you" and she stopped.
 

And you want to continue a relationship with this type of individual?   After what she did to you and your poor animal you want to forgive and move  forward?   

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2 minutes ago, ninjabib said:

she was sat on his chest from what i've heard and then a van stopped and some men get out and say somethng like "how would you like it if we did that to you" and she stopped.

I cannot believe I am reading this. To think that some total strangers had to call her on her atrocious behaviour. She is quite insane, and as Holly said, a monster.  I ask the same question as Holly.  I do not understand why you have any communication with this individual. 

Are you afraid to call her on her behaviour?  She sounds violent and uncontrolled and IMO should be getting professional help, preferably in-patient. 

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Well i only found this out today and like i say i am raging although less so than earlier. I guess some people never change.

As i said earlier i do intend to cut down communication to the minimum, i don't want to cut my niece and nephew off they are only 12 (twins) and are not involved. She was not involved in the accident because she was also fiercely against the dog being let out the front door despite what i now know. Next door neighbour have had 2 dogs killed the same way on that road and more than person has been killed on that road. It was terrifying to cross as an adult human.

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Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, ninjabib said:

Well i only found this out today and like i say i am raging although less so than earlier. I guess some people never change.

As i said earlier i do intend to cut down communication to the minimum, i don't want to cut my niece and nephew off they are only 12 (twins) and are not involved. She was not involved in the accident because she was also fiercely against the dog being let out the front door despite what i now know. Next door neighbour have had 2 dogs killed the same way on that road and more than person has been killed on that road. It was terrifying to cross as an adult human.

I do not understand your wanting any communication with her or the sister.   Your mother has always been abusive and does not sound like she has made much effort in the relationship.   Now, you find out she has been starving and abusing your pup, I don't know how you could be in the same room.   What do you get out of a relationship with this woman, as she is highly toxic and hateful?   

Who cares about the road, the dog should not have been in the front.

You need to address the evil nature of your mother.  Have you sought therapy?   

Edited by Hollyj
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Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, ninjabib said:

I guess some people never change.

Is that the best you can do, OP?!  

The state of the dangerous road and other accidents there are totally beside the point.  Even if the unfortunate dog had not been killed on the road it is likely that he would have died at her hands one way or another sooner or later.  Why are you refusing to face up to the fact that this woman is deranged?!

I will repeat again what you said:

19 minutes ago, ninjabib said:

She took the dog lead/chain, wrapped it around her fists and punched him in the face with it. The dog wasnt chained up, he was on the public pavement and she was sat on his chest from what i've heard and then a van stopped and some men get out and say somethng like "how would you like it if we did that to you" and she stopped.

To think that a few strangers were able to stop and call her out on her appalling behaviour, and yet you seem unable to face up to her.  Come on!

And no, therapy does NOT dull you to accepting and even tacitly condoning mindless cruelty. 

Edited by LaHermes
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Just now, LaHermes said:

Is that the best you can do, OP?!  

The state of the dangerous road and other accidents there are totally beside the point.  Even if the unfortunate dog had not been killed on the road it is likely that he would have died at her hands one way or another sooner or later.  Why are you refusing to face up to the fact that this woman is deranged?!

I will repeat again what you said:

To think that a few strangers were able to sop and call her out on her appalling behaviour, and yet you seem unable to face up to her.  Come on!

This whole situation is beyond unbelievable!   I think we are more upset than than the OP.  

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In response to you both i'd say both of my parents were violent and abusive (not sexually) so i guess it's what i became used to. I refused to have children for this very reason in case it 'was inside me' but now after having therapy for some years i realise it's them, by their choice, not something thats passed down through blood.

I have suggested she get some help professionally but she threw a kitchen knife at my head, luckily it missed and stuck in the wall so didnt mention it since then. My dad had severe, violent mental health issues and was locked away in a mental home for most of my early life apparently (i cant remember but i was told this by other family) and then released back into society.

I'm not scared of these people, i was as a child, not going to lie there so i spent 50% my childhood away from them at grandparents etc but now i'm not scared of them at all. I think the therapy ive had around it has dulled my reaction to it somewhat.

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Posted (edited)

I dont think my mom is a pleasant woman at all. I only found out about this today regarding the dog punching. I will confront her about it next week i mentioned that some posts back.

 

 

Edit - the dog being in the front is entirely down to the sister.

Edited by ninjabib
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1 minute ago, ninjabib said:

In response to you both i'd say both of my parents were violent and abusive (not sexually) so i guess it's what i became used to. I refused to have children for this very reason in case it 'was inside me' but now after having therapy for some years i realise it's them, by their choice, not something thats passed down through blood.

I have suggested she get some help professionally but she threw a kitchen knife at my head, luckily it missed and stuck in the wall so didnt mention it since then. My dad had severe, violent mental health issues and was locked away in a mental home for most of my early life apparently (i cant remember but i was told this by other family) and then released back into society.

I'm not scared of these people, i was as a child, not going to lie there so i spent 50% my childhood away from them at grandparents etc but now i'm not scared of them at all. I think the therapy ive had around it has dulled my reaction to it somewhat.

Your mother threw a knife at your head for suggesting therapy and you continue with the relationship.  I don't understand why you do this to yourself.   

I would have done with these people long ago.  I think you need to address why you keep on going back to a highly toxic situation.   Please seek more therapy.  

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1 minute ago, ninjabib said:

I dont think my mom is a pleasant woman at all. I only found out about this today regarding the dog punching. I will confront her about it next week i mentioned that some posts back.

 

 

Edit - the dog being in the front is entirely down to the sister.

I mentioned it because you brought up the road.  The road was not the problem.   

Dude, the abuse has been occurring your entire life-in one way or another-and now an innocent puppy is the latest casualty.  Like I said, I don't understand why you expose yourself to this.  It is so unhealthy.   If your best friend were sharing this scenario, what would you say?

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1 minute ago, ninjabib said:

I dont think my mom is a pleasant woman at all

Now there is the understatement of the century!  Not "pleasant". You refuse to see that she is quite insane (she threw a knife at you!) and is not fit to be in the outside world at all.  She should be committed.

So, you confront her next week. No doubt that will involve further knife-throwing displays. Unbelievable. 

 

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Posted (edited)

I think you are right, my therapist is vulnerable to covid19 due to his outside health issues so i havent had a session in over a year but this accident has made me so angry.

 

After my mom threw the knife at my head she apologised actually for the first time in here and said her chidlhood has messed her up and she wouldnt be violent again and that was about the time she startted making an effort and things got civil between us those years back.

 

 

Edit - for about 7 years she seemed better but now i'm hearing different for the first time.

Edited by ninjabib
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2 minutes ago, ninjabib said:

I think you are right, my therapist is vulnerable to covid19 due to his outside health issues so i havent had a session in over a year but this accident has made me so angry.

 

After my mom threw the knife at my head she apologised actually for the first time in here and said her chidlhood has messed her up and she wouldnt be violent again and that was about the time she startted making an effort and things got civil between us those years back.

 

 

Edit - for about 7 years she seemed better but now i'm hearing different for the first time.

Get away from these horrible people.

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Posted (edited)

So, the accident made you angry. For sure. And an accident is unfortunately an accident.  You keep side-stepping the fact that she ill-treated the dog to such an extent that a group of men actually stopped and call her out on it!!

She has this "messed up childhood" excuse on hand all the time. And in any case, if, (according to her) this background is the cause of her uncontrolled rages and general lunacy, she should have been in care a very long time ago.

You have to cut the cord here, OP. Now.

Besides, were you not considering purchasing a home in the U.S.A.?  A very good idea to put the Atlantic between you and this madness.

I understood that you had sold your home, and intended using the proceeds to  buy in U.S.or other country?

 

Edited by LaHermes
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I know i should but when i had my accident andlost my job, my partner (whch brought me to these boards) and my home in quick order i had nowhere to go and no money for food and she did help me so i thought she had changed and she let me stay there for 6 months.

My dad refused to let me stay in his spare room as he had boxes in there so it was the streets or hers.

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Yes the USA thing is still very much in my thoughts but need to wait for COVID to clear up and travel allowances to be confirmed. Life is on hold for us all in that respect.

 

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So, those six months erase all of that behavior?   You also said that she never has you back when it comes to your sister.   

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Just now, Hollyj said:

So, those six months erase all of that behavior?   You also said that she never has you back when it comes to your sister.   

No but i meant for me it was a sign she had changed or was really trying to at the very least. I see now that she never will which is why i said going forward i will maintain minimal contact justm so i can stay in touch with the kids.

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1 minute ago, ninjabib said:

No but i meant for me it was a sign she had changed or was really trying to at the very least. I see now that she never will which is why i said going forward i will maintain minimal contact justm so i can stay in touch with the kids.

It is frightening that anyone could abuse an animal in this manner.   Sick!   

Can you meet the kids outside her home?   Are they male?  Is she abusing them?

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