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Girlfriend Wont have sex with me and always blames me for everything


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2 minutes ago, havakk21 said:

Thanks for all the responses wow! From strangers. That’s very nice 

 

she’s 27 years old

 

i guess time to find someone else. I’ll need to talk to her tonight and end it. Any advice for that?

Do you have some place you can go or move out to? I'd take care of that first in case things get really ugly even if you don't expect that. 

Other than that, I'd keep it very simple - this relationship isn't working for you anymore and so you are done. Will get your stuff out by x date. Be clear that your decision is final - don't string her along with promises of friendship. The more clear and firm you are that you are really totally done and out, the easier it will be for her to move on. The worst is when people try to soften the blow and leave someone hoping that you'll be back.

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Finding someone else shouldn't be a priority. Not for a while.

Just let her know it's obvious the two of you are unhappy and you've decided it's best for you to move out and go your separate ways. No doubt there will be some emotion but don't allow her to bully you into accepting all the blame.

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24 minutes ago, havakk21 said:

Just a people pleaser. Not insecure or anything 

Sorry, but people pleasers do have low self worth.  When one allows someone to abuse them, it is not about valuing one's self .

Edited by Hollyj
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"A people pleaser is someone who tries hard to make others happy. They will often go out of their way to please someone, even if it means taking their own valuable time or resources away from them. People pleasers often act the way they do because of their insecurities and lack of self-esteem."

Please work on this, so that you do not end up in the same place. 

Edited by Hollyj
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10 hours ago, havakk21 said:

Thanks for all the responses wow! From strangers. That’s very nice 

 

she’s 27 years old

 

i guess time to find someone else. I’ll need to talk to her tonight and end it. Any advice for that?

First start researching places to move to. Start severing accounts, anything financial.

Change all your passwords on all your accounts and devices.

You need to make your plans for your departure solid before and dramatic conversations.

Don't start a breakup speach and get stuck there for months looking for a place.

Act routine and normal but begin to distance.

Once you have a move in date for your new place. Simply tell her you've decided to move into your own place, it's just not working out.

Skip the drama about sex, who does what around the house,etc. because at that point it's a non-issue.

First make a cohesive exit strategy. Then inform her.

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24 minutes ago, havakk21 said:

Sounds good thank you. She’d be the one leaving though so that complicates things. Like I said she has her son to take with her. And we don’t share financial accounts. Just the rent and utilities which is in someone else’s name anyways

Why is she the one who would have to leave? Why can't you move out?

If it's a lease just explain to the landlord that you will be moving out and see if they'll work with you.

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lived with her mom and step dad. They have plenty of room for her. They offered for her to come back and live with them when I went to them saying I don't know if I could keep dating her, a little while back. 

 

I think shed be better off there. Not needing to pay rent and can figure out her life a little more and do what makes her happier. 

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1 hour ago, havakk21 said:

lived with her mom and step dad. They have plenty of room for her. They offered for her to come back and live with them when I went to them saying I don't know if I could keep dating her, a little while back. 

 

I think shed be better off there. Not needing to pay rent and can figure out her life a little more and do what makes her happier. 

Cool, so no need to drag this out because of housing. Give your friend notice that you're moving out. 

Have you talked to her yet?

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