Blocked on facebook and messenger

[MissCanuck]

Why did you send these gifts to her workplace and not her home? 

Or do you not have her home address? Because if you don't, it's your sign that you're not as close as you think you are. 

[lost39-]

I know that and don't have a problem that she doesn't want to date, I didn't either, but she could just have said dont contact me rather than randomly blocking me

[Jack]

If you’re not leaving anything out, I think for her to block you is just immature. She could have just asked you not to do it again. Besides, i don’t get why she was so bothered with gifts. How about a “thank you for the gifts, but I should tell you, i’m only interested in being friends” etc. i’m surprised some of the commenters think her behavior is normal. That said, best to leave her be now and stop worrying about FB glitches and what not.

[MissCanuck]

2 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Why did you send these gifts to her workplace and not her home? 

Or do you not have her home address?

Could you clarify these questions, OP?

[Jibralta]

3 hours ago, Darcus30 said:

she could just have said dont contact me rather than randomly blocking me

That's true. However, these days it's seen as practically the same thing.

I can see how it would have been more respectful for her to tell you straight out, "don't contact me." On the other hand, I can also see how she may have felt freaked out by receiving things at her place of business. In that case, she would probably want to cut contact and not prolong conversation.

[Wiseman2]

It's very odd that you know her from the gym, chitchatting on social media but never asked her out.

Sending unwanted gifts especially to a workplace is anywhere from embarrassing to creepy to stalking.

Her friends, family, employer and possibly the police advised her to block you.

It's incredibly presumptuous to do a relationship type thing with a casual acquaintance.

You did this for yourself. To try to fast track something.

Next time. If you are interested in someone ask her to go for coffee or a drink.  Anything but a firm "yes" is a "no". 

If yes, great, if "no" or "busy" or any other variation of "no", bow out and move on.

[lost39-]

It was never meant as a romantic gesture just a friendly joke, I work for the same company just in a different building, we both knew where we stood re no relationship or sexual encounters, idont see what the big deal is 

[lost39-]

10 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Could you clarify these questions, OP?

Didn't have her address so thought be nice supprise to send to work

[lost39-]

11 hours ago, Jack said:

If you’re not leaving anything out, I think for her to block you is just immature. She could have just asked you not to do it again. Besides, i don’t get why she was so bothered with gifts. How about a “thank you for the gifts, but I should tell you, i’m only interested in being friends” etc. i’m surprised some of the commenters think her behavior is normal. That said, best to leave her be now and stop worrying about FB glitches and what not.

Thank you mate, so good to hear your on the same page, I too thought it was over kill to react like this, I even put inside from  a friend! 

I too was shocked at other responses on herebut I guess were all different with different ideas on life, ill defi leave it alone now althoughi did put alot of thought into the gift and was a little hurt.

[DancingFool]

Look it's really important that you do actually understand that it was a big deal and completely out of line.

Sending gifts to a workplace can create a great deal of embarrassment and office gossip she has to fend off now. People are nosy af about who is it from and what is it about. Regardless of what note you put in, it DOES come across as wanting more than just being buddies.

You are also in complete denial that your friendship was not at a level where something like that would be even remotely appropriate and THIS is especially important for you to understand. You came across as a creeper so please get it and don't ever do it again.

If you are not close enough to be invited to each other's homes and parties, you are not close enough to be sending presents. It's that simple.

[boltnrun]

I think you were hoping to date her and that's why you sent the gift. And that's why you're "hurt" by her blocking you. Was blocking an extreme reaction?  Maybe. But she either perceived a threat to her safety or she wanted no further contact from you.

It's a lesson learned. Just don't make anymore attempts to communicate with her. 

[Rose Mosse]

 

12 hours ago, Darcus30 said:

I know that and don't have a problem that she doesn't want to date, I didn't either, but she could just have said dont contact me rather than randomly blocking me

The reality is.. she can do anything she wants.

If someone doesn't like you they can block you whether you like it or not because your content is inappropriate. It's a huge sign that your attention is not wanted so pay attention to this and don't play it off. If you're in doubt, flip the situation to how you would feel and if you are still in doubt, always err on the side of caution. Do not do anything untoward or inappropriate that might cause someone to feel embarrassed or put out (this is in reference to the public show of gifting at her work place).

The big question is what you're going to do about it from now on. Keep stressing over someone who prefers to have nothing to do with you or go on your merry way and live the life you ought to live? Take this as a lesson and just move on.

 

[LaHermes]

16 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Why is it narcissism because she chose not to date you?

It doesn't take a medical or mental condition for someone to decide not to date you.

As you say Bolt. Exactly. 

Darcus. You say you were never an "item", and it was just "flirty banter".  

I take it that the note you put in with the ill.conceived present saying "from a friend" also included your name. 

All that aside, D, you've got to work on sharpening up where boundaries are concerned. 

And I will add some advice: seek company/dating/whatever outside of the workplace.  

[MissCanuck]

53 minutes ago, Darcus30 said:

Didn't have her address so thought be nice supprise to send to work

If you don't even know where this woman lives, sending something to her workplace is crossing a boundary. 

You evidently aren't close. That's why it rubbbed her the wrong way. 

How do you know where she works? 

[LaHermes]

1 hour ago, Darcus30 said:

I work for the same company just in a different building,

And my advice stands. Do not get involved in any way with people in your workplace. 

[lost39-]

1 hour ago, Rose Mosse said:

 

The reality is.. she can do anything she wants.

If someone doesn't like you they can block you whether you like it or not because your content is inappropriate. It's a huge sign that your attention is not wanted so pay attention to this and don't play it off. If you're in doubt, flip the situation to how you would feel and if you are still in doubt, always err on the side of caution. Do not do anything untoward or inappropriate that might cause someone to feel embarrassed or put out (this is in reference to the public show of gifting at her work place).

The big question is what you're going to do about it from now on. Keep stressing over someone who prefers to have nothing to do with you or go on your merry way and live the life you ought to live? Take this as a lesson and just move on.

 

I personally wouldn't mind If someone sent a present to my work but we're all different

[lost39-]

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I think you were hoping to date her and that's why you sent the gift. And that's why you're "hurt" by her blocking you. Was blocking an extreme reaction?  Maybe. But she either perceived a threat to her safety or she wanted no further contact from you.

It's a lesson learned. Just don't make anymore attempts to communicate with her. 

Blimey there was no threat there, never meant her any harm other than a friendly gift, yes I regret it now of course but cant turn clock back, no I won't be contacting her again. I feel like some kind of freak but it was done with genuine intention

[lost39-]

1 hour ago, LaHermes said:

And my advice stands. Do not get involved in any way with people in your workplace. 

Why would you say not to get involved with anyone in my work place? 

[Cherylyn]

I've known one person (a close one at that - actually a relative) who is extremely impulsive.  The instant she is uncomfortable with certain subjects, it's either gaslighting tactics all over again or ghost and block immediately.  At first, I was hurt, angry, bitter and resentful because this type of abrupt behavior lacks empathy, emotional maturity and emotional intelligence.  (Google "emotional intelligence.")  After I had some time to think for a while, I've since come to the conclusion that I don't need nor benefit from unacceptable and intolerable people in my life.  In my case, we resumed contact albeit infrequent, peaceful and frosty. 

In your case, don't bother.  Since you cross paths with her, remain natural, peaceful, professional yet safely distant in order to avoid more awkwardness.  If she continues giving you the cold shoulder, still remain professional, kind and respectful.  There is nothing more you can do.  Just carry on.