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I asked my boyfriend for help to lend me 400$.


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Hi, I am 24 years old and my boyfriend is 26 years old.

I worked as a digital marketing salary is only 462$ per month.

And he worked as a sea farer 1000$ salary per month.,

Last year 2019, he have spent all his money and he borrowed to me a total of 625$ to buy his ticket plane and allowance for him to work again. And I ddnt even think twice, I lend him immediately.

And he paid me just this month and year 2021,.

Rightnow, I'm the one in need.

My family and I is only renting a home to stay (and the owner of the land wanted us to move) and so, I want to help finish the construction of the house to new lot (me and my brother currently paying for installment of the lot.) So we can have a place to move.

I only have 1,485$ in my savings, and I asked him if I could borrow 400$ just to add up. And will pay him 20% everymonth coz I'm also the one paying all the bills in my family home while my brother is paying the food.. :(

and He said that he will not lend me even a small penny because it's not his problem and it's my family's problem.

I blocked him in facebook after an argument and planning a break up for he was being selfish.

Am I wrong ? 

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3 minutes ago, Luchia said:

Hi, I am 24 years old and my boyfriend is 26 years old.

I worked as a digital marketing salary is only 462$ per month.

And he worked as a sea farer 1000$ salary per month.,

Last year 2019, he have spent all his money and he borrowed to me a total of 625$ to buy his ticket plane and allowance for him to work again. And I ddnt even think twice, I lend him immediately.

And he paid me just this month and year 2021,.

Rightnow, I'm the one in need.

My family and I is only renting a home to stay (and the owner of the land wanted us to move) and so, I want to help finish the construction of the house to new lot (me and my brother currently paying for installment of the lot.) So we can have a place to move.

I only have 1,485$ in my savings, and I asked him if I could borrow 400$ just to add up. And will pay him 20% everymonth coz I'm also the one paying all the bills in my family home while my brother is paying the food.. 😞

and He said that he will not lend me even a small penny because it's not his problem and it's my family's problem.

I blocked him in facebook after an argument and planning a break up for he was being selfish.

Am I wrong ? 

Nope.   Your bf has shown you who he is, selfish and uncaring.   

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36 minutes ago, Luchia said:

I want to help finish the construction of the house to new lot (me and my brother currently paying for installment of the lot.)

Can you or any of your family get a loan/credit/mortgage at a bank?

That would be better than borrowing money from friends.

You did not have to lend him money. 

 

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Looks like he makes more than double the amount you do.. and he has nerve to ask YOU to help him with money?  Wow..

But, as mentioned, you agreed to do so...

I think it's best (before you block your boyfriend), to sort things out & explain yourself. Acting like that isn't a good move - unless you are truly done and will not deal with him anymore.

He shouldn;t have expected to seek you out for your money.  And be careful how you deal with your money.

 

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You're not wrong.  Your boyfriend revealed his true colors to you.  Now you know his real unsavory character. 

Unfortunately, "love doesn't pay the rent."  Many times, whenever money or lack thereof is involved, relationships are tested and unfortunately, relationships go down the drain.

I'm sorry. 

You're better off without him. 

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Nobody else is living your love life FOR you, so nobody else's vote counts.

Sounds like this may have been a final straw that broke you up.

Head high, and best wishes to you and your family.

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Posted (edited)

Honestly if my guy asked to borrow money to build a house for his parents, brother, whomever, that would be a big fat no.  Just because you chose to float him money doesn't mean he needs to reciprocate in return especially if its to finance your family - not something for you.   I mean, its not like you asked for a loan to take a certification course that helped you keep your job and you would be laid off or not qualified to continue at your company if you didn't.  That would be more equal to what he asked for. 

I think that if he is not responsible with money its kind of foolish to ask him for a loan anyhow.

If you want a guy that has money to spare for your family when they need it look elsewhere.  Decide to be with him for other reasons or break up for other reasons.  If someone can't afford to loan money, its not a titfor tat.

Edited by abitbroken
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If he was your husband, then yes it would be such a crime not to help out. But this is different. This is your family and I can see his point not to lend money. But this is a matter of opinion of course. If you don't like it, then don't.

So you struck out with the BF, it's not the end of the world...there are other family members, banks, loan places, you can get money from. Probably a better way to go.  It will help build up your credit score which will benefit you when you go get a mortgage in the future.

 

 

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