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I feel really insecure all the time


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I feel like I will never be able to have a healthy relationship with a guy because I am too insecure and jealous. I am all the time thinking he is talking to other girls or he finds other girls more attractive than me and that he is gonna leave me. Everytime I am scrolling on instagram or twitter and I see beaufitul girls I instantly think what he will think if he saw her. He would fall in love with her because she is prettier than me. It is the worst feeling in the world. It doesn't matter the skin color of the girl or the weight. Like... i am  really skinny, white and I look like a 15 year old although I am 23. And everytime I see a girl tanner I feel bad because she looks nothing like me. Everytime I see a girl curvier than me I feel bad. If I see a girl with plumper lips I feel bad because I have really thin lips. IF i see a girl with long straight hair I feel bad. Even If I see girls who somehow resemble me because they are skinny I still feel they are prettier than me. I never had a boyfriend I just dated a guy for some months and I was really jealous about every girl he followed (which are a Loooooot). And I compared myself to all of that girls. He told me he was in love with a friend of his, that girl was skinny and had light brown skin. Really big lips and teeth. Nice smile and really long black hair. I felt terrible when I saw her because I felt awful. His ex girlfriend is a bombshell. Green eyes, really curvy body and has plenty of men fall for her. Every girl he liked is beautiful and I feel like ***. One of my friends even flirted with him (even though I introduced him to her) and he didnt do anything with her, but told me he was pretty and she looked like ramona flowers. This girl makes me feel bad because she is pretty and has a really curvy body. She is tall and white and has big eyes. He definitely doesnt have a type of girl. I think he likes a lot of girls. He basically likes everyone. But I dont know how to stop feeling like *** and comparing myself to every girl everytime I like someone.

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8 minutes ago, Steph096 said:

Have you taken any steps to make yourself look and feel sexy? That might help get you in that "Hey, look at me." mindset. 

Even if I try to improve myself I will still have the same body. A child-lime body and face. So there is really no make up or clothes that help with that.  It is like a really young teenager or child dressing and getting her hair done. 

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Just now, Janicejaplin said:

Even if I try to improve myself I will still have the same body. A child-lime body and face. So there is really no make up or clothes that help with that.  It is like a really young teenager or child dressing and getting her hair done. 

Why not take advantage of your looks then instead of making a negative excuse about it? Own your looks and love it. 

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1 hour ago, Janicejaplin said:

I f me he was pretty and she looked like ramona flowers. This girl makes me feel bad because she is pretty and has a really curvy body. She is tall and white and has big eyes. 

When you see your doctor, you can tell them about the depression, anxiety as well as get a referral to a therapist who will discuss Body Dysmorphic Disorder (google it) with you.

You need to see a Physician asap.

You're going on and on and on about this hair, that body, these teeth those lips, etc., etc., etc. 

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49 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

When you see your doctor, you can tell them about the depression, anxiety as well as get a referral to a therapist who will discuss Body Dysmorphic Disorder (google it) with you.

You need to see a Physician asap.

You're going on and on and on about this hair, that body, these teeth those lips, etc., etc., etc. 

I think I suffer from BDD but I was never diagnosed because at least my therapists never focused on my severe low self steem. I am better now than I was before where my life completely focused on seeing surgeons, dermatologists and dentists to fix my flaws. Now I am still insecure but I kind of learnt to cope with it or got accostumed to it. This started when I was 16 and has been going for the past 7 years. I talked to 4 terapists and took medicine for more than 1 year to relieve my symptoms (this was when I was really really depressed about my looks) but as I tell you at least in my country BDD is not well known. None of my terapists mentioned that disorder and told me I had a serious issue about my appearence even when I told them I wanted to burn my lips or fantasize to inject oil in my face to make it fuller. They told me to "change" my looks, that I should try changing my hair style and plucking my eyebrlws or things like that. I just gave up. I try to find comfort on internet and forums such as this. And people around me dont take me seriously and when I open up and talked about this disorder called body dismorphic disorder, my friend cracked up so I just shut up and never talked about this again. It is useless.

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1 hour ago, Janicejaplin said:

I think I suffer from BDD but I was never diagnosed because at least my therapists never focused on my severe low self steem. I am better now than I was before where my life completely focused on seeing surgeons, dermatologists and dentists to fix my flaws. 

I talked to 4 terapists and took medicine for more than 1 year to relieve my symptoms (this was when I was really really depressed about my looks)

You need to go back to your psychiatrist and discuss medical therapy for depression. Perhaps BDD is not well known, but you need to find competent therapists. 

Forums Do Not replace psychiatrists and Qualified therapists. If fact people can give you horrible advice. 

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Based on the multiple threads you've started I would say seeing a doctor as soon as you can is vital. With all the issues you have the only thing we can give you is attention and suggestions.  But I feel you need assistance from a professional.

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On 4/30/2021 at 1:16 PM, Janicejaplin said:

I feel like I will never be able to have a healthy relationship with a guy because I am too insecure and jealous.

It's never a good idea to superimpose your present state onto your future.

You are self-aware enough to recognize your present state, so do the work required to master that.

If you are willing to do so, you may not understand at this time what changes CAN occur, but once you do the necessary work, the results will be self-evident.

Kudos to you for recognizing your present state! That's the first building lock toward change.

Understand that plenty of people are NEVER self-aware enough to recognize the things they want to address about their present state. So celebrate your self awareness and seek the help that will move you beyond it.

Head high, and write more if it helps.

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