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heh hoshi here 

you dont have to give me advice im just violently vibrating from what im processing

so heres the story of what literally just happened.

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meet A, A and I used to very like each other. **We thought we were dating for like 4 months but nobody really asked the other out nor broke up with each other. So you can say we thought we were dating and we drifted apart because we thought we broke up. (i will be listing this as "relationship")

there's B (he'll come in later), B is the legendary guy I mentioned in my past threads. I liked him for 2-3 years on and off and we kinda flirt with each other every now and then.

now onto the story lol

so, last night, me and A talked after a while. 5 hours from 9pm to 1am. we caught up on everything and all. today was very VERY shocking too. 

as you all know, I really like B. B and I talked today, we started becoming closer again after I said we were a bit dry. we promised to talk tomorrow since i had to go. 

and after a while, I came back online to talk with A. me and A talked as usual, but we kinda went deeper into serious topics. like us liking each other.  after a bit the truth unraveled. 

he was really happy in our "relationship," and he thought that I hated him because he drifted away from me at first, hence why he never talked to me. the most important part is that, he still has feelings for me. he never lost interest after a year. he thought of me sometimes and was really happy as i was talking to him. i felt the EXACT same way. I still liked him after a year too, i thought of him sometimes too. i was still hesitant about it because i thought it would be weird. 

B however, I like him too. he lended me his hoodie, bought me jewelry, and flirted with me etc etc. I never broke a promise with him. I really liked him too (i'm not assuming he likes me). he was the first guy who ever bought me jewelry. something i can keep. he lended me his hoodie and say i can borrow it whenever i can, its like his "prized possession." he was considering dating me in the summer too. we both love talking with each other but nothing too serious.

I really like both of them. i know I can't have both. we all are currently still friends but- it's between them two kinda, i have all of high school to choose, i figured those two would have to earn it in a way, they're both fine with being my friend if i date the other. it feels like a romance novel (like peter k vs john ambrose and i'm lara jean, torn by the decision of not having either of them.) and i'm living in it like lara jean. 

and i'm not even in high school yet and my love life had just started to get much more interesting.

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2 hours ago, hoshi said:

and i'm not even in high school yet and my love life had just started to get much more interesting.

It's fun to have crushes and dreams. Especially at 13-14 when you start to notice boys and they start to notice you.

However keep your life in better balance. Make sure you have friends, interests, sports, good grades a decent relationship with parents, etc.

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9 hours ago, hoshi said:

it feels like a romance novel (like peter k vs john ambrose and i'm lara jean, torn by the decision of not having either of them.) and i'm living in it like lara jean. 

I had to look up Lara Jean to understand the reference. It's from a series, To All the Boys I've Loved Before. Cute. That's a riff on the old Willie Nelson song, To All the Girls I've Loved Before. There's also a duet version that he performs with Julio Iglesias, who sings with his beautiful Spanish accent. I love that version, too. 

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You are so young. You don't have to settle down in a serious relationship!  Have fun talking and doing fun things with all your friends.

How are you staying up until 1:00 am on your phone? As a parent I wonder if you have school in the morning and how you're able to focus on your studies. Do your parents know how late you stay up messaging or talking on the phone?

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Hi! 
 

You are very young to be stressing over boys! I know that sounds annoying and I’ve been there at 14 years old daydreaming about my future husband and being boy crazy.  If I can give you advice I wish I would have given myself back then is this:

 

Focus more on your friends. You’ll have plenty of time for guys. Friends are critical at your age. You won’t be in the same place with them forever as they go off to college and move away. 
 

Cherish your female friends as much as you can!  
 

I wish I had just focused on my friends a lot more when I was your age instead of silly boys.  

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16 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

However keep your life in better balance. Make sure you have friends, interests, sports, good grades a decent relationship with parents, etc.

 

6 hours ago, limichelle said:

 

Focus more on your friends. You’ll have plenty of time for guys. Friends are critical at your age. You won’t be in the same place with them forever as they go off to college and move away. 

 

Will do!  

I'm planning on waiting until high school to see where this is going, but I will balance it. Don't worry :)

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9 hours ago, boltnrun said:

How are you staying up until 1:00 am on your phone? As a parent I wonder if you have school in the morning and how you're able to focus on your studies. Do your parents know how late you stay up messaging or talking on the phone?

Honestly, they don't care what time I go to bed because I always wake up before school. My grades are all A's currently!

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9 hours ago, Jibralta said:

I had to look up Lara Jean to understand the reference. It's from a series, To All the Boys I've Loved Before. Cute. That's a riff on the old Willie Nelson song, To All the Girls I've Loved Before.

You should watch the movie sometimes, it's one of my favorites.

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Believe it or not, I, a 36-year-old woman, actually love the "To All The Boys.." movies. I've seen all three of them! Lara Jean is so adorable and she had really cute clothes. I feel like if I was a teenager now it would be my favourite movie ever and I'd have posters of it and everything lol I grew up with other teenage rom coms like "American Pie" and "Ten Things I Hate About You".

Anyway, there isn't really anything bad about liking two boys. How old are you? What do your parents think about you dating? Could you ask the boy you like more to hang out together? You could go get something to eat and go to the movies or something? Then you could pretend to yawn and put your arm around him lol

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2 hours ago, Tinydance said:

Believe it or not, I, a 36-year-old woman, actually love the "To All The Boys.." movies. I've seen all three of them! Lara Jean is so adorable and she had really cute clothes. I feel like if I was a teenager now it would be my favourite movie ever and I'd have posters of it and everything lol I grew up with other teenage rom coms like "American Pie" and "Ten Things I Hate About You".

Anyway, there isn't really anything bad about liking two boys. How old are you? What do your parents think about you dating? Could you ask the boy you like more to hang out together? You could go get something to eat and go to the movies or something? Then you could pretend to yawn and put your arm around him lol

She's going into the eighth grade.  IMO too young to be going on dates.

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5 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

She's going into the eighth grade.  IMO too young to be going on dates.

Well I just meant more like hang out and hold hands type of thing. I didn't mean she had to have sex or something.

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2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

She's going into the eighth grade.  IMO too young to be going on dates.

Agree. Also too young to be posting on sites not intended for tweens.

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Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, boltnrun said:

She's going into the eighth grade.  IMO too young to be going on dates.

 

7 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Agree. Also too young to be posting on sites not intended for tweens.

I'm going into high school (freshman year), and I'm turning 15 soon as well- 

Edited by hoshi
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2 minutes ago, hoshi said:

 

I'm going into high school (freshman year), and I'm turning 15 soon as well- 

I was going by what you wrote on someone else's thread, where you stated you are in the 8th grade.

So yeah, at age 15 a movie date with your parents driving you or riding the bus is probably OK. But that doesn't mean you need to settle down for a serious relationship with one boy. You can have fun with your friends. 

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12 hours ago, Tinydance said:

Anyway, there isn't really anything bad about liking two boys. How old are you? What do your parents think about you dating? Could you ask the boy you like more to hang out together? You could go get something to eat and go to the movies or something? Then you could pretend to yawn and put your arm around him lol

I'm 14, turning 15 soon. That's why I said I'm going to high school.

My parents are okay as long as I don't become an emotional mess. Overtime I learned how to control my emotions so I feel like it is okay.

Sure I can ask them to hang around, but I'm basically super duper awkward around people since I never had a real date. They never had a real date either so I don't wanna screw things up for them

10 hours ago, Tinydance said:

I didn't mean she had to have sex or something.

PSA: I don't want to have sex with anyone until I'm sure sure. Also giving birth to a child is scary.

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1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

So yeah, at age 15 a movie date with your parents driving you or riding the bus is probably OK. But that doesn't mean you need to settle down for a serious relationship with one boy. You can have fun with your friends. 

Honestly, I don't intend on having a serious relationship until like, Sophomore Year maybe? 

For me I prefer dating but really taking it slow too. I don't like to go too fast right away.

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I say keep both. No one said you had to settle for one and there is no reason you HAVE TO be in a relationship. Let them buy you gifts, etc. Enjoy the attention of many while you can.

Edited by smackie9
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On 4/30/2021 at 10:14 AM, smackie9 said:

I say keep both. No one said you had to settle for one and there is no reason you HAVE TO be in a relationship. Let them buy you gifts, etc. Enjoy the attention of many while you can.

I was thinking about this for a while, thank you for the tip.

However, what if one of them asks to date me? I'm scared of hurting the other. I do like both and care for them too. 

Also, how can I know I picked the right one at least? I'm also scared that I might regret it, that I didn't date the other.

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2 hours ago, hoshi said:

I was thinking about this for a while, thank you for the tip.

However, what if one of them asks to date me? I'm scared of hurting the other. I do like both and care for them too. 

Also, how can I know I picked the right one at least? I'm also scared that I might regret it, that I didn't date the other.

That's why you don't commit to either one.

Goodness, you're 14! No need to be stressing out over boys just yet.

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3 hours ago, boltnrun said:

 

Goodness, you're 14! No need to be stressing out over boys just yet.

I was asking for the future. Like I stated, I might wait until high school (sophomore year maybe) to pick. 

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2 hours ago, hoshi said:

I was asking for the future. Like I stated, I might wait until high school (sophomore year maybe) to pick. 

But why worry about something that may or may not happen nearly two years from now?  You may not even like either of those boys by then.

Don't ruin the next couple of years stressing out over your future.  Enjoy the time you have now because I promise, you'll never look back at your life and wish you spent more time worrying.

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4 hours ago, hoshi said:

I was asking for the future. Like I stated, I might wait until high school (sophomore year maybe) to pick. 

Hoshi, don't stress about things that may never happen. 

You might be interested in someone else entirely by then. Or these boys might be interested in another girl altogether. 

Don't worry so much about things like this. Try to relax and enjoy the moment more. 

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