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Am I an option by the second date?


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We met for a drink a couple of weeks ago.  Nice visit.   Trying to make plans for another meeting this week after he asked me out on the weekend and I couldn’t go.  I had my granddaughter.  
Tuesday evening I asked if he could meet on Thursday evening and he says he will let me know Wednesday.   At 10:15 on Wednesday (last night) he lets me know he can meet me at 8:00 tonite, Thursday.    I wish he would have reached out earlier on Wednesday evening.  Am I wrong to feel like an option?  

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What is your cutoff time? Does this man know you have a specific cutoff time for when he should get back to you?

Honestly I think you're looking for an excuse to stop dating him. You don't need an excuse. You can just tell him you think he's a nice man but you would rather not date him anymore.

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I hear you.  At the same time, this early on with someone you really don't know, I would let this one slide.  If it becomes a pattern then I would cut him lose.

Are you an option?  Possibly.  He's a free man and can date others.  Try not to read between the lines and jump to the conclusion he was holding out to the last minute for something better.   For all you know his elderly grandmothers drs appt got rescheduled.  You just as easily fill in the blanks of something unknown with something a little less cryptic. 

You don't know why he responded so late, but if it's pattern in the future, you might have a problem.   If he's worth figuring out, keep the date.  It's just a date after all.

 

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I wouldn't make a big deal of it if you want to see him. Keep the evening short because this is only the second meet up. 

If you have already made other plans, however, that's a different story. Then tell him you're not available and suggest an alternative. 

You are not obligated to meet him. If it's a turn off, let him go. I agree with you that it's not very considerate and a poor first impression when you barely know someone. It's up to you.

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I dunno, should he feel like a second option after you couldn't see him and asked for another time?

We each get to choose the lens through which we want to view stuff.

I tend to select the lens that benefits me the most and makes me the happiest rather than invent abstractions with which to torture myself.

Either you like the guy and want to see more of him, in which case you'll be open to negotiating terms that may sometimes require compromise, OR, you're looking for a reason to screen the guy out, in which case, why torture yourself in the process when you can just DO that?

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