Jump to content

Long distance ex boyfriend


Recommended Posts

Okay this is a story that is bothering me every day and I just want to hear someone elses opinion on the whole situation.

When I was 20 I decided to move to another country because of the uni. I was hurt in previous relationship so in thay moment I didn't think that I want anyone close to me. There was one guy that liked me a lot but I just liked him as a friend because he was fun and similar to me. He was asking me to go on a date with him for a year but I was rejecting him, until one day. I gave him a chance to meet and I fell in love instqntly- he was such a caring ans amazing person to me, but the problem was I was supposed to leave my country in 3 months from then. We both knew it but first 2 months we were just enjoying our time together and didn't think about that. We had an amazing summer together, seen each other every day, until one day he realized I am really leaving, so he decided to disappear from my life and try to forget about me because the LDR wouldn't work. I was broken but i knew later that it was only option we really had at that time. I left the country and we didn't hear from each other at all for 6 months for sure, but after that we kept trying to reach out for each other every time him or me get drunk or anything and that is gaping that way for almost 3 years now. I tried to give another chance to other guys but it just didn't work. Another problem is that now he got a girlfriend for a year already but things didn't change regardless. I talked to him and he said he is with her just because he got used to be with her and that he wants to break up with her constantly.

Last month I spent back in my country in his city and the night before I was leaving I met him, we talked about lot of things and had wonderful night but after that we stopped talking because he is still with her and I am still in another country. 

He is saying all the time that he feels like we are going to be together in the future and that he would give anything if i Didn't need to leave him that time. 

I am happy in new country but i truly love him and I know he is the one so I am thinking if I should go back home and be with him or what?

 

Thank u all!💕

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, Lovetriangle said:

after that we stopped talking because he is still with her and I am still in another country. 

Excellent.

It would be best to delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps to avoid  drunk dials, etc.

 Why not find your own BF locally? That way, there's less headaches and heartaches for you in the long run.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, leave him alone. He has a girlfriend and he's stringing her along. This is not a great guy, no matter how many excuses he makes or sweet, soppy stories he wants to tell you. Please don't believe a shred of it. 

No man worth his salt will tell you those things while still dating another woman. Take your leave and don't look back on this one. Enjoy your new country and your new life. 

Start forwards fresh. Don't let this be a ball and chain holding you back.

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

No, leave him alone. He has a girlfriend and he's stringing her along. This is not a great guy, no matter how many excuses he makes or sweet, soppy stories he wants to tell you. Please don't believe a shred of it. 

No man worth his salt will tell you those things while still dating another woman. Take your leave and don't look back on this one. Enjoy your new country and your new life. 

Start forwards fresh. Don't let this be a ball and chain holding you back.

Yeah i know it, it is just hard because everytime i am visiting my country, i see him and his family, and we always get in contact somehow🙄

But thank you I think u are right!🥰

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, Lovetriangle said:

Yeah i know it, it is just hard because everytime i am visiting my country, i see him and his family, and we always get in contact somehow🙄

But thank you I think u are right!🥰

That is fine. He can contact you any way he likes. You don't have to reply and you certainly don't have to meet him or spend romantic evenings with him while he has a girlfriend he reports to. It would be better if you blocked him  and learn to filter and screen people like this however.

Keep in mind that a person who speaks badly about his/her partner or complains to another woman about how his partner is someone he'd rather not be with could do the exact same two-timing thing to you one day. Imo, he can't be trusted. 

Please also completely disregard his guilt-tripping speech about you moving away. This man is too confused to be dating anyone and needs to do his own soul-searching. 

If his family pressures you into anything or contacting him, act cordial and nothing more. You don't owe him anything. Own your life, girl. Move on. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So, he's got a new girl now, to replace you... ( if he's just using her I am so not impressed!).

He left you , knowing you were leaving the country.. and you've kept up your communication..but he's move on now.

I feel is time for you to do the same.  Leave him & his new GF alone.

Get your own life going .. 😉

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well you can't be with him right now because he has a girlfriend and he has been with her one year. If you thought about moving back to your own country for him, that would be pointless because he's not single. If he broke up with the girlfriend then you could consider it. But my advice is don't actually do anything until you know how he really feels. For example, if he was single, you should ask him if he loves you and wants you to come back. Otherwise you would change your life and do so much but there is no point if he doesn't love you too. Sometimes we just have bad timing with people and maybe it means they're not "the one".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, Lovetriangle said:

he got a girlfriend for a year already but things didn't change regardless. I talked to him and he said he is with her just because he got used to be with her and that he wants to break up with her constantly.

This guy is not a good person, OP. The way he treats his girlfriend and their relatonship is terrible.

You need to wake up to who he really is. It's not a guy who would be a good boyfriend. Sorry. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Tinydance said:

Well you can't be with him right now because he has a girlfriend and he has been with her one year. If you thought about moving back to your own country for him, that would be pointless because he's not single. If he broke up with the girlfriend then you could consider it. But my advice is don't actually do anything until you know how he really feels. For example, if he was single, you should ask him if he loves you and wants you to come back. Otherwise you would change your life and do so much but there is no point if he doesn't love you too. Sometimes we just have bad timing with people and maybe it means they're not "the one".

Yeah thats true! And i feel awful just talking with him when I know that he has girlfriend. I know from others that they were breaking up fro cpuple times already so it is obvious that relationship is not working, and he said that he wants me back and would give anything if I stayed, but dont expect from me to leave everything and come back to the old place!

The hardest thing for him and me is that we actually never had fight or anything, we were great couple and only reason of breaking up is because of me leaving country... but time will show💕thank you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • Choosing to Trust
      ‘Trust’ is a philosophical choice. We can be cynical, guarded, and awaiting attack. Or open, positive, and hopeful— BUT prepared for all outcomes. Love Advice discusses the pros and cons of both positions.

       
      • 0 replies
    • Why Your Ex Can’t Make Up His Or Her Mind
      Clay Andrews talks about Why Your Ex Can’t Make Up His Mind. After a breakup, it's really confusing when it comes to getting back together, talking to you or even just being in contact with you. It can also be extremely frustrating how your interactions have been good but your ex is insisting that ex can't be friends and withdraws inexplicably. Had a great time spending time together but still your ex can't make up her mind? By the end of this video, Clay shares some IMPORTANT TIPS on how you can deal when your ex can't make up their mind and how to get your ex back.

       
      • 0 replies
    • Everything You Need to Know About Going "No Contact"
      1. Signs That "No Contact" Is Needed, 2. Understanding "No Contact", 3. The Benefits of "No Contact", 4. Strategies to Make "No Contact" Work, 5. What Makes "No Contact" So Hard?, 6. Why You're Struggling to Stay Away.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 6 Signs You Are Hurting Subconsciously
      Do you value having a positive and optimistic perspective of life, no matter how bad things are? Being overly positive and optimistic can be as bad, or even worse, than having a negative approach to something. After all, lying to yourself is very rarely the best way to approach things and it can be detrimental to your mental health. So, if you're not happy or hurting about something, it is important that you acknowledge it instead of repressing and ignoring it.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 7 Habits That Make You Irresistible
      What are some simple habits that make you irresistible to women, men, and everyone? If you want to be a more attractive person, these easy habits will get you there. Confidence is half the battle - at least.

       
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...