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Should I tell him how he made me feel


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13 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Telling him how you feel won't change a thing. Plus, when he doesn't respond you'll be left feeling even worse. Why do something that will make you feel worse?

Block his number, then delete him from your phone and all social media and communication apps.

You will find someone who wants what you have to offer and who won't ditch you for someone else.

Agree with everything, thanks for your input. Just a matter of getting over the hurt soon and then I'll be glad

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4 minutes ago, Buki93 said:

I was overwhelmed at the time and just could not think straight.

It happens to us all at one time or another. I'm glad you posted it on here, and that you didn't send all of that his way! 

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On 4/20/2021 at 11:05 AM, MysteryGirl1 said:

First at all, i'm really sorry to know about this and i hope u will find other person. You have a right things to tell him how u feel, at least an explaination why he did this to u. Leaving u without an explaination and make u worried while him happy with other person. If i was in your situation i will let him know how i feel, it wasted my time but how could he do this, if he really don't like u don't give a hope or like he care about u in the first place.if i was u i will ask him, hey listen i don't want make things complicated, can u give me a reason why are u doing me like this, why u giving me a hope when u want to be with someone else, i feel like being cheated, u know how worried i'm about u when u not replying my mesej, at least i want to hear an explaination from u for the last time.And after this i really don't care about u and move from u hope u happy with ur life now.That was my mesej to him.I hope u don't feel bad, for me u didn't nothing wrong, i hope after this, u give some space for urself and love urself more.I wish u all the best dear

Thanks for your input, I dont think I'll message him anymore because I already did (too much) and he doesnt care so why should I 🙈 I'll move on soon enough!

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You find this confusing, and you ask yourself why he did this? It's possible he's a psychopath.

-Charming: this is why they are undetectable.

-They are so much like you: they use mirroring, and copy your likes and dislikes, give you a sense of compatibility

-They are self serving: They are users. If they can benefit from being with you: money, physical, ego boost, (food, gifts, attention,sex), they will take it, until there is nothing left or they find something better.

-They have no empathy: They only care about themselves and their needs. They feel absolutely no guilt.

-they are the biggest con artists. They are very intelligent. They know how to play on peoples emotions to get what they want. Pretty scary huh. Yes they can be very dangerous people if they want to.

Girl you dodged a bullet.

Edited by smackie9
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My heart goes out to you. I wouldn't waste another word on this guy. I'd consider him unworthy of knowing how I feel.

You've dodged a bullet. You will find someone better than him, no doubt. He's shown you how low he's set that bar.

Edited by catfeeder
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No!   He clearly does not care.  This guy is a coward and a jerk.

 

I'm sorry that this happened.  Luckily, you discovered who he was early on.

Edited by Hollyj
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On 4/21/2021 at 10:42 AM, Jibralta said:

It happens to us all at one time or another. I'm glad you posted it on here, and that you didn't send all of that his way! 

I am so grateful for this opportunity yes! 

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22 hours ago, smackie9 said:

You find this confusing, and you ask yourself why he did this? It's possible he's a psychopath.

-Charming: this is why they are undetectable.

-They are so much like you: they use mirroring, and copy your likes and dislikes, give you a sense of compatibility

-They are self serving: They are users. If they can benefit from being with you: money, physical, ego boost, (food, gifts, attention,sex), they will take it, until there is nothing left or they find something better.

-They have no empathy: They only care about themselves and their needs. They feel absolutely no guilt.

-they are the biggest con artists. They are very intelligent. They know how to play on peoples emotions to get what they want. Pretty scary huh. Yes they can be very dangerous people if they want to.

Girl you dodged a bullet.

Thanks for your input, it's interesting because as you say you can never tell - I wont presume he is but yeah the behaviour is inexcusable, crazy to think it's the same person!

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On 4/20/2021 at 10:14 PM, HeartGoesOn said:

I'd take the high road by walking away with my head held high.  The one and only message you should send him is silence, as it carries the loudest voice.

I'm sorry this happened, but when all is said and done, you'll still land on your feet.

Thanks, I do agree with you for sure. 

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On 4/20/2021 at 10:35 PM, Andrina said:

Don't waste an ounce more energy and time on this cold coward. You didn't know him at all until this happened. If he cared the slightest, he would've had the decency to tell you when he decided you two wouldn't be dating any longer. He didn't, so you shouldn't care about getting an apology or getting him to feel remorse. He's not a decent human being, so that won't happen.

When you eventually meet a man worthy of you, you will appreciate the right man that much more. I know that happened to me. Take care.

I think cowardly is such a good word for this situation - it's really pathetic and immature, also hurtful. I agree with what you've said and I'm sure once I'm over the initial hurt I'll look back at it grateful that he did that early on.

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On 4/20/2021 at 10:57 PM, Lambert said:

I agree with the others. his loss.  don't waste your time on him.  

I know it was crappy and it hurts but.... his ending things this way proves one thing for sure...  he did you a favor. you can definitely do better than this whack job.

delete all traces and never talk to him again. How ridiculous "big problem". what a putz.

 

Thanks I do agree with you - when I'm over the pain I'll see it as a good thing that it happened sooner rather than later - such immature behaviour, I'm extra sensitive too haha so it really didnt help 🙃 

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On 4/20/2021 at 11:29 PM, boltnrun said:

This reminds me of a guy I used to date who called me one night after we'd been dating for about 8 months. He started the call by saying "I have some bad news" and proceeded to break up with me.

At the time I was devastated but later on I thought, how arrogant of him to think he was such a prize and to speak to me like breaking up was some big tragedy! Now I think the situation (and the guy,) is laughable.

Side note, several years later he tried to start dating me again. I told him no because I didn't want him any more. He also contacted me a couple of months ago and again I declined. I unfriended him for a reason!

Thanks for replying, wow what a stupid thing to say "bad news" as if he thought you would be absolutely distraught over losing him 😅. I'm sure I'll look back on this guy and laugh and be glad I got out of it but yeah of course it hurts at the beginning, no one likes being treated like a temporary fix.

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On 4/20/2021 at 11:39 PM, Rose Mosse said:

There's no reason to text him again. He won't reply. Look back at the history. He would have replied to you if he wanted to. He doesn't want to. 

I think he felt you were a bit full on perhaps with the toy models and dishes. That is very sweet, by the way. You seem like a generous person with a big heart. Save this for someone you've known a little longer next time. 

I agree with you he could have given you a straight answer. Most people (yes, read "most") do not have the courage or the guts to say so. 

I remember the first date I went on after I separated was with a guy I had no chemistry with whatsoever. We were the same age but he felt like a younger brother by about thirty years. We just did not meet eye to eye and he was asking me a lot of personal details about work or my industry and how to improve himself professionally. He was a complete gentleman and texted me after the meet up which I replied to but I also mentioned it was nice meeting but I didn't feel any chemistry. We wished each other the best and that was it. I am sure there is someone much more suited to him out there.

Let this go. There will be better men who will deserve you and appreciate you. Don't let this experience cause you to feel jaded.

Thanks for your reply, yeah I wont text him again and I'm sure I'll look back on this and think it's a relief I got out of it knowing hes like that - i still cant believe it's the same person honestly, some people have no heart. Appreciate your words

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On 4/21/2021 at 1:28 AM, SooSad33 said:

No, do not contact him anymore.  he knows what he's done here and you've already said enough the last time you contacted him, when you saw his post.

So, respectfully and for your own self just leave it be now.

I know it's a crusher 😕 ... been there, but by sounds of it, he's either  a player, or an ex showed up in his life again.

So don't let what he does, sit on you too heavily - and be glad it was only a cpl months, not years.

 

Thanks for your input, yeah as you say it's a crusher but I know this pain is only temporary and I'll look back grateful that he was an idiot so it didnt happen further into the future. 

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22 hours ago, smackie9 said:

You find this confusing, and you ask yourself why he did this? It's possible he's a psychopath.

-Charming: this is why they are undetectable.

-They are so much like you: they use mirroring, and copy your likes and dislikes, give you a sense of compatibility

-They are self serving: They are users. If they can benefit from being with you: money, physical, ego boost, (food, gifts, attention,sex), they will take it, until there is nothing left or they find something better.

-They have no empathy: They only care about themselves and their needs. They feel absolutely no guilt.

-they are the biggest con artists. They are very intelligent. They know how to play on peoples emotions to get what they want. Pretty scary huh. Yes they can be very dangerous people if they want to.

Girl you dodged a bullet.

Thanks for your input, yes it's crazy to think how some people change like that, albeit this was just a couple of months but still. I wont presume hes a psychopath because I'm no expert but yes it's strange that someone could shift their attitude towards you so suddenly like that without any kind of explanation, it hurts but also angers me 🙃. As you say though I dodged a bullet!

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10 hours ago, catfeeder said:

My heart goes out to you. I wouldn't waste another word on this guy. I'd consider him unworthy of knowing how I feel.

You've dodged a bullet. You will find someone better than him, no doubt. He's shown you how low he's set that bar.

I agree with you totally, thanks for that. I'm thankful that the hurt is just temporary

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On 4/20/2021 at 2:23 PM, Buki93 said:

I've been dating a guy for about 2 months, we've been seeing each other a couple of times a week, staying over at each other's houses, going for walks, hanging out, playing games, cooking together, spending the night...

We both wanted something serious and made that clear from quite early on so as to not waste time.

We talked every day, sending memes and discussing work, general nice conversation, we have lots in common.

2 weeks ago I said goodnight to him (we did that pretty much every day before sleeping) and he didnt reply - fair enough I thought, hes probably gone to sleep😅

Next day there were no messages from him whatsoever, I texted a "Hey how are you today" and again, no reply all day. Next day I sent "hey just checking you're ok? Hope work is being good to you" and again, no reply.

The day after that I was a bit worried mainly because this guy texts all day long and we are both quite talkative so I tried calling, no answer.

He then messaged me that evening saying "big problem I'll let you know I'm sorry"

So I immediately think oh crap i hope everything is ok, hope his health is good, hope everything is alright with this job and family.

So thennn I text him "ohhh hope everything is ok, I'm so sorry. Let me know if theres anything I can do to help"

No replies after that for one whole week. 

I waited 8 days and texted him to please update me whenever he could, I've been worried (which I genuinely had).

Again no response. That was around 3pm.

That evening about 11pm I'm on Instagram and I see hes posted a photo of him kissing a girl on the cheek, another photo with them both in it and a couple more of some place they went to together for the day.

I just thought WOW. What happened to communication? I would have had SO much more respect for him if he said "listen we are just not working out but I wish you the best" instead of full on ignoring me like this.

I'm not going to pretend it's been years with this person and I'm so so hurt I've lost him - it's only been two months. However there have been beautiful memories and I did like him very much.

I sent him a message after seeing the photos saying "I don't really know what to say haha, it just would have been nice if you let me know we weren't working out 🙃 just so I knew that's all. Instead of not communicating it because I had truly no idea. I wish you all the best anyway". 

He saw that immediately and no reply.

 

I just feel like I (or any human being) deserve to be told about where we are at in the relationship. I feel extremely sad - not because I'm losing him but mainly because I feel that I have been treated so badly and with an element of total disrespect. I feel kinda disposable.

What makes things a bit worse is that I had made him some toy model thingies, he knows I'd made them and I'd spent quite a lot of time money and effort on them (I kept him updated throughout the process as I treated it like a commission) and he knew I was going to give those to him next time I saw him. He also knew I had planned to cook a special dish for him to bring over with me on our next date to enjoy.

These little things to me, just seem to add to the whole disrespect thing and make it seem like he didnt care. 

I'd love to know if anyone agrees with me about this and also if you think I should text him yet again, letting him know how i feel or should i just leave and forget him entirely like he seems to have done with me?

It's still all very fresh so excuse the lack of structure and the length of this absolute essay! 

Thank you..

I am really sorry to hear all this. You know what ? People who do this are internally broken. Please do not look forward to his message / response. Please please do care of your heart. This person deserves no respect. He has no idea how to leave a relationship gracefully. It is going to sound a bit harsh may be, but believe me you have dodged a bullet. He would have made your life terrible ahead I am sure. With time, you will heal. You will be all shiny and bright again. I am very sorry to hear this experience of yours. Do not let your heart be too heavy. For the longer term he is at loss. He lost a beautiful soul. He played a beautiful soul and he will be played in future too.  

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