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hi everyone,

just wanted to see what different people's opinion's are on this brief situation...I started dating someone recently that I met through an online dating app where we really hit it off from the start and then turned out we actually lived literally around the corner from each other, know the same circle of people but have never met until we matched. Anyway, have been on 5 dates over a month or so and everything was going really well.After the last dinner date the next day she messaged me to go for a walk with her and we spent another few hours together and we both had plans that night so we left it at that (this was a Saturday). I was thinking everything was going really well she had told me on the Saturday she liked me and I took the fact she wanted to see me again straight after the dinner date as a good thing, we ended up texting the Sunday night and into Monday and out of nowhere she sent me a text saying she thinks I'm great and all this jazz but respects me too much to lead me on and sees us as friends which directly contradicts the vibe she was giving off and what she said to me the Saturday. I was a bit worried she may not have been looking for something serious and is a bit young and still wants to focus on studies/friends for now but all the signs were there......I replied back politely so as not to burn the bridge, we ended up running into each other again about a month later to which she greeted me with a big hug and everything I guess what I wanted to seek advice on is it very much seemed like she liked me and we connected very well it was just probably wrong timing has anyone ever faced this type of wrong timing situation and how did you deal with it as I feel it would be worth another shot but also don't want to open myself up to disappointment either lol

 

Thanks 

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Hard to say why she suddenly decided she wasn't interested in you romantically after so many dates.  She may have been multi dating and was more interested in some other person or she was on the fence about you and finally decided there wasn't enough of a spark.  No matter her reasons the fact remains that she is not interested in romance with you.  It sucks when everything seems to be going well and then poof it isn't.

  This has happened to a lot of people and everyone would love to have concrete proof or a solid reason why but it rarely happens and when it does we all have a hard time accepting the truth.

The sudden change of heart is strange but she was straight with you and didn't ghost you.

As far as another shot goes.  Keep meeting and dating others and if you run into her be friendly and funny but don't try and convince her to be more than friends with you.  This isn't her playing hard to get, this was her being pretty clear with you.

Maybe one day one of your mutual friends will find out why she bailed so suddenly but don't dwell on it...

Lost

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Sorry this happened. It seems like something going on in her life such as on/off with a BF or meeting a bunch of men on dating apps,etc.

It also seems she was interested and that this has nothing to do with you or anything you did or didn't do.

Great you were cordial and confident about the whole thing. For exactly the reason you noted and that is running into each other.

You'll do fine. Just keep messaging and meeting women.

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Sometimes when people like someone as a person, have fun dates, but aren't feeling that chemistry, they will go out with them more just hoping that maybe that chemistry will somehow develop. In your case, it didn't and that's that.

I think she was incredibly forthright with you and you took it well in terms of being cordial about it. Please leave it at that and accept her decision at face value. There is nothing to read between the lines here at all and nothing to hope for.

Dates don't have to be bad for people to decide that they aren't into you. In fact, most people can meet someone and have a nice time and a few fun dates. It means nothing unless they choose to continue with you. She chose to walk away. So you do the same and keep on meeting other women and hopefully you'll find someone soon where you both click and do want to continue on to developing a relationship.

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I think she likes your company but she's not attracted to you. It's probably not a timing issue. Interest level is not as high as it would be to pursue anything else. Something's missing. 

What you do is move on. Don't wait and don't second guess this. It's not what it should have been so you free yourself up to meet others. 

 

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I agree with the others... don't pursue someone that told you they only see as a friend.  

Look at it from they perspective. It's hard to be honest, but it's the right respectful thing to do.  And everyone is always saying. "oh I wish they'd just tell me the truth! "

So when they do,  respect them back. Accept and go away. 

She isn't jerking you around.  You're making yourself confused. 

Sorry. It does stink. You felt chemistry. That was your feelings.  She didn't. It doesn't change.  you still feel it.  she still doesn't. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks all for the advice/replies, I generally agree with the premise of everyone's replies disappointing end but nothing I can really do.

Since then I have been seeing other people but we did end up exchanging conversation over text again which went fine and it was just light and fun no real hard feelings....what was strange a bit was the conversation had sort of ended from my end anyway and my last message was on like a Thursday afternoon which didn't really warrant a reply nor did I care if she didn't but she ended up replying at 1:30am on a Saturday night and I sort of look at it a bit like what was the point of that haha

We also ended up running into each as I felt we would eventually given how close we live to each other and that was not awkward at all was almost like it was when we saw each other, she greeted me with a hug and we chatted for a bit and I just said nice to see you again and went our separate ways, I understand both of us are nice people so that's most likely what it is

I am pretty comfortable that there was probably nothing directly about me that caused it to end and if it was I would be pretty surprised and probably would show different stages we are at given age difference

Whilst it's disappointing because really it had all the makings of something and I have been through the ringer a bit with dating so felt like my luck was turning but I realise for whatever reason on her end it wasn't enough which I respect end of the day

Thanks again everyone

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